so here it goes ..... teenagers having crushes is the most normal thing......just like that..... apparently i never ever thought that my most resented,hated person will be my only crush since grade 7 to 11 the current class im studying in....and maybe he is still my one sided cursh and a very rude enemy........yes he behaves rudely only with me .....I have observed it keenly....his behaviour towards me is quite different compared with others.....as if he resents me for my existence since beginning but as the years passed on he is unreadable to me.....he looks at me with foreign emotions which is complicated to decipher.....till now whatever I assumed about him towards me is purely based on my instincts ....I know nothing as to what are his real opinions about me and feelings towards me.........
im my eyes he has always been a indifferent person.... because of his aloof personality...talking with him has never been easy for me as I was always busy arguing with him......
im sure we have mutual feeling of hatred towards each other....I can feel it in my guts......but why at the same time...we are unable to take our eyes off at each other.......
everytime we pass by near.....or unintentionally look at each other.....I get flustered and look away.....
this feeling troubles me a lot....as to why he keeps looking at me.....and by the time I realise I have already been looking at him...
nobody knows not a single soul till now .....that in my dreams he is the only person who has appeared maximum times ...for no good reason🙁 and then for the whole day I would be thinking about that dream uselessly......I really wanna know do I really have any kind affection towards him or just a mere attraction....if that is the case...then why dont I feel it with other guys around me but why only him !!??
it might be called my one sided cursh.....but his bright pitch black eyes tell me something else when he gazes at me.....but I know one thing that he hides something in his heart which is crystal clear in his eyes...i can say that he is also a coward just like me... convincing that this feeling will waver sooner and this is just a mere attraction but im not so sure about his feelings because him or either I never been friends..to sort things out...or to express our feelings ....... hopefully if we get an opportunity to express our or my feelings, im damn sure we'll miss it because of our hesitation...........nonetheless I don't hope or expect anything from him......and even though I know it's of no concern,I keep thinking about this !!!!
whoever read this, thanks for your time.....I was just overwhelmed for a reason that I wrote this senselessly.....!!!! but I wanna know does this happens with anybody of u out there.....plz let me know...
