It was hard to love me , I knew that . You knew that too . That's why you chose not to love me .Love is not a simple word , it never was . Still though ... I waited for you . I waited for you to grab hold of my hand , to hold it as we laughed in the dark . I waited for you to gently place that kiss on my head , to smile your toothy smile ... Then , I stopped waiting , sure you'd never come to me . I started to hate you . I started to hate me .I became so tired , so tired , because of you . Then I thought ... why you ? Why was I blaming you ? I laughed ... what was I doing ? Spending time on you ... when you weren't spending time on me . It didn't have to be you when it could have been me . I could of grasped my hands tightly , laughed in the dark as I watched a funny movie . I could of gently place that kiss on my hand , not the same as placing it on the head but it still Woul if made me feel safe ... self love . I could of smiled my big creepy smile ... just to make others laugh , knowing I just made others smile . I could of ... I didn't but now ... I will . It's hard to love me . I know it . You know it . I love me , though . Maybe I love me , hate me , love me . It's okay , because I'm one of the hardest people to love and that's one of the things that makes me live me even more !!!!!!!!
Lasky
