I was sad to leave the office. I was about to board on a taxi to the train station and I noticed that the sky was dark and there were no stars. My chest still hurts because of what happened the other day. Gradually I remembered them again. It really hurts to be left alone.
Im trying to smile and be happy but I can't. Maybe I am not just ready to let go. I am so far from moving on.
About a few hours passed and I got off of taxi,
accompanied by heavy rainfall. My grief is still felt and they seem to have taken part in my crying that I have been holding on to my chest for a long time. I just let my self getting wet in the rain. I just let it feel every drop of it I can at least feel that I have their sympathy. But when I went back to my self and thought if I could not get sick, I immediately took my umbrella, and when I opened it, it split in two. Did I even think my umbrella was sympathetic to me?
I'm broken. I need you.
Will you also be destroyed? So I quickly ran to take shelter. I saw a trash can and I put there the broken umbrella.
So I, she just dumped it too? Is everything I gave is not enough? Is she not satisfied with me? I know I made a lot of mistakes, but should that be the end?
Those are my questions to myself. Hays, I'm getting too pessimistic. I arrived at the station and just waited for the oncoming train. With the arrival of the train you can choose where you want to ride. There is a part that is as loose as it is, so it depends on you whether you want a crowded place or a spacious one.
Why bother to push yourself if you can no longer fit. If she doesn't want you anymore just let it be. Am I trying so hard to insist myself to her?
But because I was lazy I just waited for the train to stop and let the people behind me push me inside.
I'm wasted and no one cares.
But as I entered the train, someone caught my eye. We haven't seen each other before and we didn't know each other personally. All I knew was that our eyes met.
Maybe after you get hurt someone will come who is better than before.
The door to the next station reopened and more people boarded in it. That caused our bodies to stick together.
She made me forget my sadness.
It so quiet inside the train and the two of us also quiet. Suddenly the train stopped at the next station that's why she lost her balance. Fortunately, I was able to hold on and I immediately catched her.
Is catching her the right thing to do?
We stayed in that position. I held her in the back and I felt that she hug me.
This is what I need. Even for awhile.
The door opened again and I felt her leave the embrace. It looks like she's just up to here. I thought she was about to come out, but I was surprised that she gave me a kiss on my cheeks and then she got off the train. As the train door closed, she slowly walked away from me.
Maybe we are just up to here. Nothing last forever.
I was thankful for the moment that we were together, I was happy and I have no regrets.
As the train closed I noticed it had left her umbrella. I took it and placed it beside me. I will keep it....
****
I was looking for the train station when the heavy rain suddenly fell. Fortunately, I brought an umbrella with me and opened it immediately.
When will the day come when someone will hold my umbrella and we will walk in the rain together?
I still did not know where I was going so I asked and was directed to the train station. It is difficult to get here especially when it is raining.
Is it also that difficult to find someone who will love you?
I got to end of the train station without getting wet. I boarded fast because this is the first station, but I can no longer sit because there were more ahead of me. This is probably how it is today, gentlemen are no longer exist. I just stood there and I did not realize that it was the next station. I looked at the door and saw someone I had never met but I stared at him.
He was sad and I could see it in his eyes. He also stared at me and I could not take my eyes off him either. The eyes seemed to be begging.
The train door opened again and we're already many boarded on the train unfortunately many people forcefully squeezing themselves to let in. Some people are on board and lucky but others are not.
When you can no longer really fit yourself and have no hope, just give up. That is the best you can do.
Due to the congestion, he came closer to me and our bodies stick together. My heartbeat went fast and I knew he was feeling it. I can not do anything. The trip was fast but at that scene, everything slowed down. I do not know what I should do.
I can't breathe.
The train stopped suddenly so I lost my balance. I just thought that someone
would hold me because otherwise I might be
upset.
Catch me. I'm falling.
He held me.
... And you caught me.
I really can't believe what's happening right now. A while ago I was just looking and now it looks like I found him. Because of his grip, I suddenly hugged him and I couldn't help it.
Can we be like this forever? I hope this lasts.
But everything has an end. I've reached the place where I should go get off. I was sad and didn't know what to feel.
I prayed that he would come with me but I knew it's impossible. The train door opened and I slowly removed my hand that hug him. I was about to get off but I thought of giving him a little gift so that somehow he would not forget me.
And I kissed him on his cheeks. It was sincere. It was full of love. It was the first and might be the last... But I'm hoping it's not.
I got off the train. I am only up to here and can not continue. I saw him looking at me as the train pulled away. I turned around and walked away. Maybe we are only up to here, but I hope that one day, the next time I ride the train again I will see you and hug you again. And hopefully by that time we will be together on the train until farthest station.
