I can see the difference, the difference between how my boyfriend looked at my best friend also my roommate and me, I have seen that a lot of times but I just pushed it away
when we were engaged, I saw my best friend trying to smile for me, also I saw my boyfriend trying his best to smile for me too, but, I'm way too good at knowing these two, I know my best friend and I know my boyfriend
when we were staying together, sometimes, I can see my fiancee in deep thought, I know that expression, the expression that tells him to do it but he can't 'cause someone will get hurt which is me
my best friend was ignoring me, not the reason because she hate me but to avoid seeing my fiancee whom she fell in love with, I understand her, if I were in her shoes I wouldn't show up too, she still keeps in touch with me but just never shows up, she knows that if she sees him she'll fell in love more, and I know she doesn't want to break our friendship
3 months before our wedding, I can't bear the heavy atmosphere going on, I cried myself out at the balcony while he sleeps inside, I decided to leave, I decided to just let them be together, it's better that only one is in pain than two who is precious to me, I'll take the pain, I'll handle it
a few days later at night, my fiancee and I slept together, I left the bed, took a bath, changed into some clothes, took out my luggage that I prepared, left a letter that contains a million words, everything was explained there, I cried my eyes out while writing the letter
my heart was aching, I cut off all the connections I had, even my family, but I told them I'll be fine, I explained everything to them, they were so mad but they supported my decision, I kissed him one last time on his forehead and whispered 'I love you' then left
(want part 2?)
