Sunshine penetrates through the window on a winter day. The snow sparkles in many different colors. His little daughter, only 5 years old, sits across from him, both of them are sitting on the floor. She sits there with crossed arms while her dad pile the toy blocks up only for her to destroy the tower. It makes him happy to hear her giggle and see her smile. She has the smile from her mother.
“Daddy?” Her daughter’s sweet voice tears him out of his thoughts. “My friends say I’m not normal.”
He frowns and stops piling the toy blocks up. “Why would they say that, sweetheart?”
“Because i don’t have a mommy. Everyone has a mommy but i don’t and that is not normal. Why don’t i have mommy?” She rambles and waves with her hand through the air but her eyes look so sad.
“You have a mommy. She is just not....here with....us.” He tell her carefully, hoping she will understand him.
“Where is she then? Doesn’t she like us?”
“Sweetheart she loved....she loves you with all her heart but she is....up there.” He tell her and point upward with his finger. Her eyes widen in surprise and excitement.
“In the attic? Can i go up and tell her hello? Why she never come downstairs? I could bring her some of the cupcakes we made today!” Excitement is audible in her voice and she jumps up to run into the kitchen but he catch her before she can escape. He feel so bad telling her that all this doesn’t work.
“Baby..She’s not in the attic...She is...she is..in..in..heaven.” He bite his lip and hope she will understand what he just told her. He can’t blame her if she doesn’t, after all she is only 5 years old. But he can tell at her sad looking eyes that she understood him.
Tears form in his eyes when he saw her tears already rolling on her cheeks. He open his arms and she crawls over to him, hugging him as tight as she can. He press his lips on top of her head, his hand rubs her small back.
“She won’t come back right?”
“No, she won’t but she watches over us.” He tell her comfortingly and wipe his own tears away. She shouldn’t see her father crying, that only makes her more sad and what she needs a strong ideal to whom she can look up too. Even though he is a weak person for that because on the inside he is weak, breaking everyday a bit more. “I’m only half of the man i was with Hazel, but I’m the only one our daughter has to look up to.” He said to himself.
He wish he could wipe the pain in his heart as easy as wiping his tears away.
“Have you love her very much?”
“God yes, I loved her so much, I still do.” He whispered in her hair and she nods with a half-hearted smile.
“Like very, very much?”
“Yes sweetheart. She was everything I could have wished for.”
“How was mommy?”
He smile when he picture her face, the sound of her laugh, her soft skin.
Her voice when she was angry with him, her voice when she was happy.
He picture her laying in bed, wearing his shirt, laughing at one of his lame jokes.
He picture her laying in his arms on a rainy Sunday afternoon, whispering in his ear how glad she is that she is his and that she loves him.
He picture her soft skin under his fingertips while they made love, while they did something so intimate only lovers can do, expressing their love to each other.
“She was beautiful” he tell her and their daughter smiles while her eyes still hold the sad expression. “In every single way.”
Author: Jungkooksecretkiss
If you like this, check out my novel “secret kiss”
