Here I am walking down the aisle. At the center of this church, stands the man that I love the most, Jaizer. He is wearing a black tuxedo. He looks great on those. His clothes really complement his handsome face.
My heart beats faster and faster as I get closer. His lips formed a smile. The happiest smile I've ever seen from him. I tried to hold the bouquet of flowers very tightly as I continue to walk towards him.
Time goes slowly as I walk near him. I showed a warm smile at him as I reached the front. Then, I walked to the side and made way for his bride.
Yes, I'm not his bride. I saw him looking at her. My eyes followed his. I saw my best friend, Laila, in her simple white gown. She looks like an angel fallen from above as she walks down the aisle.
She looked at me and flashed a smile as she passed by. My lips formed a big smile, but a fake one.They say that our eyes are the windows of our souls. We could fake our smiles but our eyes can't.
Reaching the altar, Jaizer took her hand and sweetly smiled at her. She looks at him and takes his hand. Their happiness and love are evident. Anyone in this place can feel it.
I tried to hide the pain away. I can't let my feelings take over. Everything I do is just for show. I can show everyone that I am happy even though the truth is, my heart is breaking on the inside. I can fool others but I can't fool myself. I know that I am hurting. I hate that I fell in love for my best friend's man. I hated that he left me for her. It hurts so much that I feel numb. Why am I hurting this much though? I thought I had moved on. Why am I hurting because of this stupid thing called love?
"We are all here today to witness the union of these two..." The priest said.
My mind is too lost to follow his words. I'm trying to calm my self. This is my friend's wedding, I should be happy for her. For them. I should free myself from the past and need to move on.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The priest's words made me come back to the reality.
Everyone cheered as soon as their lips touch. I tried to look away but my eyes won't follow. They slowly pull away from each other.
"Picture taking." The photographer stated.
Laila called me. I went near them and greeted them congratulations and best wishes. She told me to stay beside her during the picture taking.
"Okay. 1,2,3 smile!" I tried my best to form a real smile.
A year had passed since the day of their wedding. I still feel empty. Maybe because I haven't moved on from him. I tried to forget him but I couldn't. Every night, I would cry thinking about how sad my life is. There is no one I can hold onto. My parents left me for their own happiness. The person I love is happy with my best friend. Why is my life so miserable? Does God hate me this much?
*Door bell rings
I was awaken by the sound of the door bell. I took my phone and looked at the time, its currently 11 in the evening. Who on earth will knock on my doorstep at 11 pm? I sighed and stood up. I opened my front door and saw my best friend. She still looks the same but her tummy is swollen. Her eyes were stained.
"Rosé." She called my name. Her eyes started to be filled with tears.
I hugged her.
"What happened, Laila?" I asked her as I take her inside my house.
"He cheated on me. I saw him with his mistress." She said as sobbed her life out.
"Shush... Stop crying. Let's talk about this tomorrow. You need some sleep." I said and guide her to my room.
She, then, soon fell asleep. I slept beside her. I woke up really early. I made breakfast because I know she's gonna be hungry when she wakes up. I took a shower. When I finished, I saw her eating.
"So, Laila, tell me everything." I said as I sat in front of her.
She told me everything. The beginning, her hunches and how she ended up at my doorstep yesterday. I tried to comfort her.
"Can we go to the mall, Rosé?" She asked and I nodded.
We went to the mall and had fun. We watched, played, talked, and laugh. My eyes roamed around through the window of the restaurant. The sky is getting darker.
"So what are you going to do?"
"Maybe I'll forgive him."
"But why? He cheated on you." I said.
"Because love forgives. If you truly love the person, you'll forgive him even though he made a mistake. Nobody's perfect. We all commit mistakes." She said to me. It struck me hard. I shouldn't hold grudges to anyone.
We went out after we ate. I saw Jaizer standing in front of us. He is holding a bouquet of white tulips. He crosses the street to reach her wife.
"Jaizer!" We heard a honk sound. I started running towards him and tried my best to push him. He landed on the ground. I turn to see the beaming lights of the truck. It hit me.
I don't feel anything. My body's too numb to feel anything.
"Rosé! Rosé!..." The sounds are slowly disappearing. I can the dark sky. Its so gloomy. I can see Laila crying in my line of vision.
I tried to move my hand up and put it on her face. I don't want to see her crying. I want to brush the tears on her face. I don't want my best friend to be sad.
Every moment in my life started flashing before my eyes. But all the memories I had was just jealousy, sadness, and hate. Why will my life end when I had done nothing yet? I should forgive my parents for leaving me. I should forgive Jaizer for the wounds he made. I hope God will forgive me for blaming him. Maybe, I'm really the one at fault here.
Sleepiness is slowly kicking in my system. My body's slowly shutting down. I couldn't take it anymore. My eyes closed and the darkness took over.
