TO:LENZ BLAKE
FROM:CHIBICUTE-CHAN OR ADIRA
I'M SORRY IF I EVER DID SOMETHING WRONG TO
YOU...PLEASE...JUST PLEASE...DON'T LEAVE ME...I STILL LOVE YOU...I STILL WANT YOU...
I STILL WANT TO TALK TO YOU...
I STILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU...
EVEN IF I DON'T ACT LIKE IT I'M REALLY HURT...I'M IN PAIN...BUT I STILL SMILE THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU...
I STILL WANT TO CALL YOU HONEYLENZY...
I STILL WANT YOU THERE...
LENZ PLEASE...I'M SORRY...IF I DO ANYTHING WRONG
EVEN IF OUR RELATIONSHIP IS FAKE...I LOVED YOU...
I COULD FEEL WARMTH TALKING TO YOU...
LENZ...I KNOW EVERYTHING JUST STARTED LIKE IT WAS A GAME...
BUT NOW THAT IT'S ENDING I REALISED IT WASN'T...
WHEN YOUR BEST FRIEND...
USED YOUR PHONE...I'M SORRY THAT I ACTED DIFFERENT...
I WAS REALLY JEALOUS...YOU TWO WERE REALLY CLOSE...I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN SHE SAID YOUR SLEEPING...
I WAS SCARED I WILL LOSE YOU...
I'M SORRY...AND I WAS GLAD YOU UNDERSTOOD ME WHEN I TOLD YOU...
THE MOST THING THAT HURTED ME IS THAT WHEN YOU ASKED ME..."SHOULD I DATE?"
LENZ...I WAS SHOCK I REALLY AM...I NEVER KNEW IT WILL END JUST LIKE THAT...
I WAS SHAKING...
BUT I JUST ANSWERED...IT DEPENDS ON YOU...

I ASKED WHO IS IT...WHO'S THE GIRL...LENZ...I WAS SHAKING WHILE I WAS TALKING TO YOU...

ABOUT DATING...I JUST SAID DON'T BE TOO RUSH...BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET YOUR HEART BROKEN AGAIN...
BE CAREFUL...DON'T BE BROKEN ANYMORE...DON'T BE FOOLED AGAIN...
I WANTED TO STOP YOU...BUT YOU KNOW...YOUR KITTI SIS ONCE TOLD ME...YOU CAN GET WHOEVER YOU WANT...I WAS REALLY SCARED BUT I PRETENDED TO BE OK...
I WANTED TO SUPPORT YOU...
LENZ...AS I SAID ALL THOSE THINGS...WHILE I WAS TYPING...TEARS FELL DOWN FROM MY EYES...
I ASKED YOU...WILL YOU LEAVE MY HAREM...AND YOU SAID YES...
AND THAT'S...THAT'S THE ONE WORD THAT MADE ME GAVE UP...
IT MADE ME LOSE HOPE....
I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT IT...
I SAID AFTER YOU LEAVE...
WE WILL BE COMPLETE STRANGERS...I NEVER WANT THAT TO HAPPEN...BUT I THOUGHT...IT WOULD BE BETTER...IF I FORGOT YOU AND YOU FORGOT ME...
YOU SAID...SORRY I'M ONLY A LITTLE SIS FOR YOU...AND FUCK I COULDN'T HOLD MY TEARS...
YOU SAID...DON'T SAY THAT I DON'T KNOW YOU...THAT WE STILL CAN BE MT SIBLINGS...BUT THE THING IS...IT'S HARD...IT REALLY IS HARD FOR ME...PLEASE LENZ...I'M SORRY FOR SAYING THAT...
YOU TOLD ME MANY THINGS...
YOU SAID...MAJORITY HURTS...
LENZ...I STILL WANT YOU...EVEN THOUGH I SAID I WILL SUPPORT YOU...I DON'T THINK I CAN...
SINCE YOU WERE LEAVING...I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH...I TOLD YOU MY PROBLEMS AND CONDITION...
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DISAPPEAR WITHOUT SOMEONE I LOVE KNOWING...
I CRIED...AND CRIED...LIKE AN IDIOT TO SLEEP...I LOOKED SO STUPID...AND EVERY GODDAMN TIME I THINK OF YOU AND DYING...EVERY GODDAMN TIME I THINK OF LEAVING THIS WORLD...BUT I WANT TO LIVE FOR YOU AND OTHERS I LOVE TOO...
IT WAS A HARD DECISION...I HOLD MY TEARS BACK BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO CRY FOR THE SAME REASON AGAIN...I DON'T WANT TO BE DEPRESSED FOR LOVE AGAIN...
PEOPLE LEAVE ME ONE BY ONE...
I'M HAVING SO MANY PROBLEMS...MY MIND WAS A MESS...I WAS DYING...YET I SMILED FOR ALL OF YOU...I DON'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR PEACE...
I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BE WORRIED...AND WHEN YOU SAID CHIBI DOESN'T EXIST...I WAS REALLY HURT......AND I STARTED TO CALL YOU MR.BLAKE...I ACTED LIKE NOTHING WAS BETWEEN US...I ACTED LIKE WE WERE STRANGERS...I WANTED TO SAY SORRY...I WANTED TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING I WANT BUT YOU WON'T SEE MY MESSAGES YOU WON'T REPLY AND I KNOW TO MYSELF THAT WHATEVER I DO WILL BE USELESS BECAUSE I KNOW I'VE TOTALLY LOSE YOU...
I LOVE YOU LENZ...I REALLY DO...
EVEN IF I'M HURT I WANT TO SMILE...EVEN IF I WAS IN PAIN I SAID I'M FINE...BECAUSE LENZ...I'M SCARED...YOU SAID...IT WAS YOUR FRIEND WHO SAID CHIBI DOESN'T EXIST BUT HOW WILL YOUR FRIEND EVEN KNOW I'M CHIBI WHY WILL YOUR FRIEND EVEN CALL ME CHI...
LENZ!PLEASE...I WANT YOU TO LIE...I WANT YOU TO SAY I LOVE YOU FOR ONE LAST TIME...I WANT YOU TO PRETEND LIKE WE'RE STILL TOGETHER!!!AND I KNOW I CAN'T MAKE YOU...BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON THE DECISION YOU DECIDE...I NEVER WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS...BUT I CAN'T BEAR THE PAIN ANYMORE...I DON'T THINK I CAN PRETEND ANYMORE...I KNOW I FUCKING MESSED UP...
IT'S OK IF YOU HATE ME...I HATE ME TOO...
REMEMBER LENZ...I LOVE YOU...
AND THIS IS FROM MY HEART...
THIS IS THE SENTENCE MY HEART HAS BEEN TELLING ME...
THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME ALL NIGHT IS THAT WILL WE BE REALLY A STRANGER FOREVER...
I LOVE YOU...I LOVE YOU...
I'M SORRY...I COULDN'T BE ENOUGH...I'M SORRY IF I'M SUCH A TRASH...
I LOVE YOU...AND EVEN IF I DIE...I STILL WILL...AND I HOPE IN ANOTHER LIFE...I WILL MEET YOU AND WE CAN BE TOGETHER....
I'M SORRY IF I BROUGHT YOU TROUBLES OR PROBLEMS...
LENZ...I DON'T THINK I CAN HOLD ON ANYMORE...
AND WHAT'S THE POINT OF TELLING I WAS GONNA DIE...
THAT MY TIME TO LIVE IS COUNTED?
KITTI ONCE TOLD ME...NO ONE GIVES A FUCK IF I DIE...SO DIE IF I WANT TO...
AND YEAH...SHE IS RIGHT...
BUT I WANTED TO TELL BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND THEM TOO...
I LOVE YOU HONEYLENZY....
