I'm not smart like my cousin who are almost intelligent , I'm just in the middle and sometimes i'm lost in the middle , my dad has a big dream for me but i can't do his dream because if he wants to increase the grade i can't do it anymore , it's not that i'm lazy to study , i'm really weak in studying , even if i'm having a hard time i can handle it because I want him to make proud.
Dad is always comparing me to my cousin because she's smart and dad thinks that because my cousin has high grade, I'm also like that but he doesn't know that even if I'm doing it , i still can't reach it.
Dad can't see the hard work i'm doing for my studies , he didn't even say that i'm proud of you , that even if my grade is just that low , i'm just judging from him.
Who will believe that i am studying hard if my grade is still low and i can't reach the highest grade , it's not my goal to get all the medals in school..
unlike my cousin who always goes up to the stage and has a medal to hang on her , and my dad don't see my hardship , even your family will judge you , even if it's like that i can't say anything and just smile.
I can't blame my cousin what can i do if she is intelligent even though she is kind to me and when we talk about grade , when she is praised and i am in front of my dad and her she changed her conversation , so often i see that she doesn't like me getting hurt , even if i am used to it i'm in the words that hurt me , i have nothing to do but just cry in silent.
" Am.... I the only one who sometimes feel like my life sucks and i'm just sad , then you just feel really bad because there are people going through way worse , and here you are....feeling sad about life cuz I don't know,
Feel me?
