I was still a lil child when I was left at the hands of my relatives, my world fell apart day by day but would always put on a smile for they don't care about what I feel. Every time I always convince myself I am okay, but my emotional wounds only got worse day by day, my physical wounds may have already healed but the wounds they inflected into my heart only grow larger and got infected. Day, weeks, months, years I've endured all of it. As time went on years have already passed but those times I myself don't know if I was truly happy, I may put on a smiley face but deep inside I'm already broken to the point that it feels impossible to heal. I'm still holding on to the hope that one day, I would feel true happiness. I was once a girl who had a cheerful and carefree personality but that girl has died along the many years that I've shed. I wish to go back to the times where my smiles were genuine, to the times where my feelings were clear. But I know I won't be able to go back to the past, not until the wounds on my heart heals. The girl who was me has died and a new person was made. A person devoid of feelings, a person who can't feel pain even when she cuts through her wrists with a knife and bleeds until she was almost on the verge of her death. The girl I once were is nowhere to be found.
