They said, a real man, doesn't cry.But this isn't a real thing for me. Losing someone you love is harder than I thought it could be.
My teacher once asked me, " If you have to choose between your wife and your unborn child in a life and death situation, who would you choose?"
Without any hesitation, I answered," It would be our child ma'am. "
For me, this is such an easy question . I didn't even hesitate before answering.
" How can you say so, Mr.Wiliam?" She asked again. Curious about what I would answer.
" It's just that, my wife already experienced life.She lived long enough.However,our child is just about to see the world.I won't be too heartless." I answered with sincerity. No guilt attached.
This answer of mine,made my classmates emotional.
" Will,I didn't expect that your such a thoughtful man. I'm impressed " My friend,Charlie,said.
I chuckled. Is this really their reaction if I'm serious?Maybe because I'm such a lively person,they can't take me seriously.
I sat on my seat with a smug look.I'm too proud of my self.
I never thought that I would answer the same question after twelve years.
" Sir, you need to make a decision. Your wife and child is in a very critical situation. We can't save them both. You have to choose." A nurse said in rush.
My wife has a congenital heart disease and she's not allowed to bear a child but we insisted thinking that nothing bad would happen. But now, I regret what I did.
I love my wife so much. I can't live without her, she's my life.Knifes are piercing me. I'm not even in my right mind now.What should I do?
A certain scene flashed back into me while making a decision.
" Love, if ever something bad happens , please choose to save our baby. I know you would choose her but I'm just assuring you." Charlie said as she caressed her baby bump softly.
I kissed her forehead before saying," Nothing bad will happen to you and our baby. And, don't take any stress.You are both strong."
" But what if--.. " I didn't let her finish before sealing her lips with mine.
I don't wanna hear that question again. It makes me scared and restless. I keep convincing myself that nothing bad will happen.
But now,here comes the real thing. I need to choose.
The question that I easily answered before, is a scary question for me now. I just want to wake up from this nightmare.
" Sir, we urgently need your answer." The nurse begged.
A lone drop of tear came out from my eyes. I can't decide.
I thought it would be easy. But I'm wrong. I don't wanna choose at all. I just want them both to be alive.
" Sir!" The nurse said with a loud tone, being impatient. These made me back in sense.
" I.. I.., S.. Save the baby." I hardly said which I want to take back but I didn't.
I want to choose Charlie but I also love our child.I want to stand for my desicion when I was still a student.
I'll save the baby.
I prayed to God. I hope, both of them will be safe.
After two hours of waiting, the operation room finally opened. I stand up abruptly from my seat and strided toward the doctor.
" Congratulations Mr. William, the baby girl is healthy." He said.
I was relieved but the next thing he said made my body froze.
" But we are sorry, we can't save the mom." He said apologically.
It felt like the world collapsed.All of the pain came to me. Instead of being happy for our child's arrival, I was mourning for my wife's death.
" You're joking Doc, this is a big joke isn't it? My wife is alive right?! She's alive!" I shouted as I grab his collar.
I was about to punch him right into his face but my instinct said no.
My heart and mind is full of anger and hatred not only for them but for myself.
I can't even do anything to save the girl I love. I'm such a loser, I can't even win from the battle of life.
After a few minutes,they handed me the baby.I thought that all of my tears are finally gone, but again, it flowed out from my eyes. Our baby looks exactly like her.
I'm full of emotions that I can't understand.I have the reason to live again.
" I'll be both your dad and mom,our baby." I said emotionally while crying before landing a gentle kiss in her forehead.
- Angel Nobleza
