My name is Kia . I am 14 years old girl. And i am a student studying at grade 7 . I have a little brother who is 5 years old. My father works as an engineer in an foreign company.
My mom is a housewife. I am a Topper at school .My das works in another city far away from my mom , me and my little brother. I like watching anime and reading mangas and comics. I don't believe in relationships . I once dated a guy and when we break up , i didn't feel anything . So i don't believe in myself.
This is a piece of my life .
Last year , a disease called Covid 19 spreaded from China to all over the world.
AUTHOR'S NOTE : I WON'T EXPLAIN ABOUT COVID-19 AND HOW TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM THAT VIRUS AS WE ALL KNOW ABOUT IT .
There wasn't many cases in our country that time. It happened when the schools were almost over . My mom, me and my little brother always visit my dad after my school in summer. Last year , we went there . After a month we arrived there , covid started to spread more and more . Ten people died . But whenever I went out , i always realized that although there are hundreds of people who has covid 19 virus , there are still many thousands of people who don't affect virus. I also thought that people who died because of covid 19 maybe very unlucky .
As the time went by ,
It becomes stronger and stronger but after a few months , it becomes slow again . Schools were about to open again. I need to go back to my town .
My mom was worried about my dad as he needed to go to work . She was worried if something bad will happen. So my aunt from my town came to the city and took me back to the town . My mom and my little brother stayed with my dad .
After just some days i arrived at my town , the second wave of virus started . The city where my das , mom and little brother live , has many cases .
But there wasn't any around their environment .
For me , I studied my school lessons . But the virus became stronger and my school was closed again .
I didn't go to my dad and mom's city .
I lived in my town . In my town , there isn't any covid cases. I was bored at home and i searched some mangas to read and found Mangatoon .
I started writing stories there and later on, I found that there are groups . But i didn't join because i didn't feel like talking with strangers .
But , whenever someone tell about groups , I wanted to join too , So I joined some groups . But I didn't talk much and didn't have many friends . Especially , i didn't feel comfortable talking with boys when they know i am a girl .
So I created am account with boy gender . The reason is i will feel comfortable talking with others and i can talk freely .
I joined many groups but whenever i changed my account , it took a lot of time to chat so i quited some groups . But it wasn't as I thought . It's sometimes really hard to stay as a boy .
I dated some girls who wanted a boyfriend . But some were serious about online relationship. So I couldn't see them unhappy . I told them my secret .
And the people from a group know my secret . They were like a family to me . So i told them all .
I have three groups where i liked chatting . Later on, one of the groups kicked out all members. In that group , I had so much fun . And a person who i didn't know he would be special for me . I met him in a group which i tell they were like a family . Then i still met him in that group which kicked out all members. We were close like brothers . I saw him as my big brother.
One day , he got a boyfriend . His boyfriend had a finance in real life . But still my brother didn't know about it . But later on , his boyfriend told him that he had a finance and broke up with him . He was really sad . I asked in if he is ok in private message .
For the first time , I saw one thing in him that he isn't happy . I saw his sad side for the first time. I couldn't help but to comfort him . In normal , he is a funny and a perverted person . After that , we were closer .
And after some time , my grandpa started to feel ill and we found that he has Corona virus . But soon , he died . We were sad . He was really a happy man . And i loved him very much . I guess it was when my luck started to fade .
My mother was in Quarantine because she took care of my grandpa in the hospital. We didn't know if she has virus. But luckily , she was nagative . But , again my grandpa lived with his wife , my grandma .
She didn't know that her husband is dead . She was in Home Quarantine. But she didn't show any signs of Corona virus . My aunt went there and told her that her husband is dead . Of course , she was pretty sad . They came back to our town and stayed in Quarantine . While they were there , I started having problems in MT ( Mangatoon ) .
The one who I told that he is like my brother , he often flirt with me. And that time , he was flirting with me . And my friends supported him. But it went on and then they spread the rumours that we two are married .
When my sisters heard about that , they helped me .
That rumours disappeared. The thing was that he was angry with me . I messaged him if he is ok . But he replied as " none of your business anyways " .
It... was really hurt . I couldn't help but cried .
But I cried secretly . My grandmothers who is living with me , they can't know about that.
But he sent a apology. I thought we are ok now .
But that was the time when i realized my feelings for him . I couldn't accepted that . I just said to myself that it's just some imagination . Just some feelings for a teenagers like me . I texted my sister who knows i am a girl . She ia great sister for me . I asked her with an example . " Sis , well a boy told that he got a boyfriend and a girl cried . Why did she cry ? "
She replied like this , " Just ask me why did I cry ? I know it's you . "
I admitted and asked why again . She said that I have feelings for him . I told her that I don't wanna believe it .
After that I asked one of my sisters again .And she asked if i think about him whenever i am free . I told her that I sometimes went to groups and looked for him if he is online or not .She replied that i have feelings for him and she said to tell him my feelings . But how could I? She said she will help me and texted him and told him that a girl in boy disguise has feelings for him . She sent screenshots of their conversation to me.
He even guessed it's me . Then , my sister told him everything .
I didn't text him later that . He texted me and i replied but he acted like nothing happened .
But it was so uncomfortable to talk with him after he knows i am a girl and i like him .
I decided to make things clear .
I asked him if he hates me and he said why . He said he didn't . I once tried to tell him the truth of me . But i asked a boy who knows about me and he said he was a little upset . So i was afraid he will hate me too and couldn't tell him .
I told my crush not to text with me anymore for a few days . I wanted this feeling to disappear . He didn't reply my message . But whenever I see him texting in groups , I feel so broken and happy at the same time . And yesterday , when i wake up , I opened MT and went to see if he replied but he didn't . I just guessed maybe he was tired and went to sleep early . I went to groups and scrolled up some messages and saw his messages . And there was a screenshot of his profile . I looked at it and saw he changed to a crying picture . I was worried about what happened . So i asked my sister if she knew about it . She said he had a dare relating to his profile. I was happy to hear that . But i wished he cried because of me . But my guess was wrong . It's so hurt . And today night , he changed to that sad picture again . I wanted to ask if something happened . I couldn't help . I asked him . He said he is ok . I wondered if his boyfriend broke up with him . But I couldn't ask him that . I texted my sister again . She was broken too . She said " Don't feel sad if he says no " . I said i won't .
Now today, I wake up . And the first person i thought about was him . I went to the groups . There's no one . I want someone to heal . I wish i can open my feelings . And that time , news about my aunt and grandma came . My grandmother has Corona virus they said . And I thought " Another bad luck came again . " I will wait for what will happen next .
AUTHOR'S NOTE : The story end here . I don't know what will happen next . So i can't write . Sorry if it wasted your time . I don't have anyone to open . Just writing all in a story will make me feel better .
So i wrote all down .
Have a good day or night .
