“Heng Ning, I love you.” A quiet voice speaks.
Heng Ning stand in the middle of a field of daisies, searching where the voice come from.
“Heng Ning, come to me.” Heng Ning turns around to see his first love, Shan Qi, standing behind him with his arms open to him.
Heng Ning quickly run to his embrace but Shan Qi disappeared before he even reached him.
[Dream End]
He shot his eyes open with a fast beating heart.
“Ah, this dream again.” He murmured, staring into the ceiling.
“Oh, you’re awake.” Kang Li said, walking in with breakfast in his hands.
“Here, have some breakfast.” Heng Ning grab the breakfast from him and begin eating.
“You don’t always have to make breakfast for me, you have cardiomyopathy. Next time, I’ll make breakfast for us.” Kang Li chuckled it off.
“It’s okay.” Kang Li lean in to kiss Heng Ning’s forehead.
“Also, we need to find you a heart transplant as soon as possible.” Heng Ning said with a worry face.
“Many people need it too. I believe one day, the doctor will have the right heart for me.” Kang Li smile at Heng Ning.
Deep down, Heng Ning love Kang Li very much. Even when he know Kang Li like to “play” with others, but he still stuck by Kang Li’s side. Heng Ning even abandoned all his friend and his first love, Shan Qi, for Kang Li.
Heng Ning and Kang Li have been together for 8 years. They begin as a lovely couple and just after 4 years of being together, Kang Li begin to change. He would come home very late from work or sometimes not at all for a couple of days. He would spend a lot of his time on his phone and sleeping whenever he’s home. Heng Ning is aware of what’s happening but love have taken control over Heng Ning.
After breakfast, Kang Li went to work. Heng Ning is a writer, so he stayed home most of the time.
“Kang Li’s birthday is tonight. I’ll go get some groceries and pick up a cake for him.” Heng Ning change his clothes and leave the house.
As he approached the store, he saw Shan Qi come out of the store. Heng Ning immediately froze and memories begin to run in his mind.
Heng Ning stand there watching Shan Qi making his way to his car. After Shan Qi left, Heng Ning then walk into the store.
He drops all the groceries and the cake at home then left for a walk. He remembers the times when he and Kang Li would always go for walks. They would have deep conversations with each other.
Heng Ning sit on a bench, staring off into a beautiful lake. He sits there lonely, and suddenly remembered the ring on his finger. It’s a promise ring that Kang Li gave it to Heng Ning. He stared at it and tears begin to form in he eyes.
There’s many times, Heng Ning wanted to throw it away but he feel like it’s not the right time yet.
“Heng Ning?” Heng Ning look up at where the voice comes from. Standing next to him, there is Shan Qi. Heng Ning quickly wipe away his tears and move over so Shan Qi can sit.
“Why are you here?” Heng Ning ask with his head down low.
“I came for a walk. And you?” Shan Qi answered.
“Me too. Staying at home feels lonely.” Shan Qi look over to see Heng Ning with his head down low.
“Where’s Kang Li?” Heng Ning didn’t answer and sit silently.
“Where’s Kang Li?” Shan Qi asked again.
In a low voice, Heng Ning replied, “He’s at work.”
“You don’t seem happy, what’s wrong?” Shan Qi quickly speaks up. Suddenly, tears begin falling from Heng Ning. He quickly wipe it away so Shan Qi wouldn’t notice.
“You can cry, I’ll listen.” Heng Ning then begin to cry harder.
“Why?! W-why is this h-happening to me?!” Heng Ning struggle to speak. Shan Qi move closer to Heng Ning and wrap his arms around Heng Ning.
Heng Ning’s eyes open wide and cheeks burning up. He feel so warm in his embrace.
“You shouldn’t do this. Let go.” Shan Qi let go and cupped Heng Ning’s face in his hands.
“I still miss you.” Heng Ning froze by his words. Heng Ning then remove Shan Qi’s hands from his face.
Heng Ning immediately stands up and begin to leave.
Shan Qi quickly grab onto his hand, stopping him.
“Give me your number so I can check up on you.”
Heng Ning quietly gave his number to Shan Qi then left home. Heng Ning reached home and begin to cook and prepare for Kang Li’s birthday. They celebrate his birthday together every year.
After preparing, it’s already quite late. Kang Li should’ve been home now. Heng Ning sits at the table waiting for Kang Li to come. He waited and waited but Kang Li never showed up. Heng Ning cried to sleep that night on the couch.
A week later and Kang Li haven’t come home yet. Heng Ning didn’t eat much and stay in the house with no lights on and blinds closed.
“I should’ve avoided you. I should’ve not trust you. You lie to me!” Heng Ning said, as tears steam down his face. Then he pick up his phone.
“Hello?” Shan Qi answered. Heng Ning cover his mouth so Shan Qi won’t notice that he’s crying.
“Hello?” Shan Qi said again.
“Come over..” Heng Ning said quietly. Heng Ning gave Shan Qi his address.
10 minutes later, there’s a knock on the door. Heng Ning slowly walk to the door and opened it.
There stand Shan Qi with a panicked face. Shan Qi rushed to hug Heng Ning with tears in his eyes. Heng Ning hug Shan Qi tightly.
Heng Ning finally open the window blinds and finally there seem to be more life.
“Once I’m gone, give my heart to Kang Li. And you burn me and keep my ashes with you.” Shan Qi quickly look at Heng Ning.
“W-what d-do you m-mean?” Shan Qi speaks shockingly.
“You know what I mean.” Heng Ning said quietly.
Shan Qi quickly replied, “No! You can’t leave me. Please stay.” Shan Qi gets on his knees to beg Heng Ning with tears intensely flowing down.
Heng Ning’s lifeless eyes stared into Shan Qi’s eyes. “I wish I can turn back in time.”
Shan Qi hold tight onto Heng Ning’s hands with his warm hands and said, “I love you.” Heng Ning lean in to kiss Shan Qi’s forehead.
“You have gotten skinnier. Go take a shower and rest and I’ll cook dinner for us.” Heng Ning nodded.
After a while, dinner is all prepared and set up on the table.
“Heng Ning, dinner is ready.” There’s no answer at all. Shan Qi gets up to go check up on Heng Ning in his room.
Shan Qi opens the door and see Heng Ning’s lifeless body laying on the bed with blood all over his hands and neck. Shan Qi panicked and rush to his side.
“HENG NING?!” Shan Qi roughly shake Heng Ning but there’s no movement at all.
“HENG NING!!! Why? Why did you leave me? I told you I will stay by your side. Do you hear me? Please wake up!” Shan Qi said as he cry immensely.
Shan Qi sees two letters and a ring on the pillow next to Heng Ning. He grab the letters and the ring and shove it in his pocket and rushed Heng Ning to the hospital.
After admitted Heng Ning in, he is pronounced right away that he had passed away. Shan Qi drop onto his knees in front of the emergency door and cry his heart out.
“NO! How can you do this to me?!” The doctors stands next to Shan Qi also feeling sad and heartbroken.
“Can I go see Heng Ning one last time?” The doctor allowed him to see Heng Ning.
Shan Qi enters in the room, to see Heng Ning being cover up by a white sheet. Shan Qi lift it down to see Heng Ning’s pale and cold face with his red and puffy crying eyes.
His shaky hand slowly touches Heng Ning’s face and kiss him on his forehead one last time.
Then he rushed out to go back to Heng Ning’s house. He found Heng Ning’s phone and called Kang Li.
Kang Li finally answer after a couple fail calls. Shan Qi angrily shout at Kang Li through the phone.
“HENG NING IS GONE!” Shan Qi said loudly. Kang Li go silent and then hang up. Shan Qi quickly go back to the hospital and tell the doctors what to do with Heng Ning’s body.
After a couple of hours passed by, Kang Li rushed in to the hospital. He spot Shan Qi sitting on a chair outside of the emergency room. Kang Li rushed to him and grab Shan Qi by the collar.
“Where’s Heng Ning?!!!” Kang Li shout at Shan Qi. Shan Qi only stare at Kang Li.
“TELL ME!” Kang Li shout again. Shan Qi gets angry and throw a punch on Kang Li’s face and he fell to the floor.
“HE IS LONG GONE!” Shan Qi yells at Kang Li. Tears then begin to steam down Kang Li’s face.
“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.” Shan Qi then laugh insanely at Kang Li. Kang Li quickly gets up from the floor and ready to punch Shan Qi. But the doctor comes through the door and stops him.
“Kang Li, let’s do the heart transplant now.” Kang Li look at the doctor confused.
“Do it now or never!” Kang Li then left with the doctor.
Hours later, Kang Li come to conscious. Kang Li look to the side and see Shan Qi sitting on a chair next to him. Kang Li knitted his brows.
Shan Qi then throws a letter and the ring to Kang Li.
“He wrote it before he go. Read it so you can understand how much you made him suffer.” Kang Li took the letter and the ring and slowly read through it.
He drop the letter to the floor and begin to cry. His hand move to touch the left side of his chest where his heart is being replace by Heng Ning’s heart. Kang Li hold tightly onto the ring he gave Heng Ning.
“I’ll never forgive you.” With that Shan Qi walk out, leaving Kang Li to recover alone.
Shan Qi then goes back home. He finally take the time to read the letter Heng Ning wrote for him. He feels guilty for not being there for Heng Ning. He took out a photo-book that have photos of him with Heng Ning during high school. He slowly look at each photo while holding a jar of Heng Ning’s ashes in his hands.
“I miss you.”
