To Hate My Lover

After I broke up with my 8 years of relationship with my ex boyfriend name Zack , he is 23 years old. Then I meet a man name Jacob , he is 30 years old , this man is a well known business tycoon in our country. My heartbreak cause me a lot of pain and questioning my worth, so, to forget my sadness I decided to rent a penthouse that is mostly being own by the richest people and accidentally this man Jacob is my closest neighbor.

To tell you honestly, I'm not born in wealthy family but in my 23 years of existence of this world I manage to get a job that paid me well and after my parents died on car accident I inherited all their savings and insurance.

So, as a broken heart person, I want to do something that is extremely out of my league, and that is to get liberated . So, this is it one of my plans is to live in a highly expensive penthouse in our City.

Living in this kind of lifestyle is kinda overwhelming. I made everything planned out my days of staying in this penthouse. It's kinda nervous but at the same time it makes me excite.

First what I do is that, I make a research about this Jacob whom my closest neighbor. When I got some of his information with the help of social media. I'm surprise, I didn't expect that this man got recently divorce with his popular supermodel trophy wife. It says that, they decided to get divorce because they got no time to see for each other.

Wow, how sad, well, divorce is no big deal now a days because divorce is a kind of norm mostly of the couple's who are not happy on their marriage life. Then I click some more information of this guy, then I've seen that he was a playboy before he decided to settle down. Then I form a smile.

In the morning I destroy my faucet in the kitchen when I saw that the water is flowing heavily, I try to make a noise saying that "someone help my faucet been broken" to catch more attention to my neighbors especially to this Jacob.

After two minutes of shouting for help, to my disappointment, no one's hear me . So as I saw that water is already been flowing in the floor ,I decided go to his floor and knock heavily on his door. By the way his penthouse is on 33th floor and mine is on 32th floor.

After a seconds of knocking and pushing his doorbell, the door is slightly open . Then I see a man who is standing next to me with his half naked body . I try not to ignore his muscular body that perfectly fit on his pants. Then I shift my eyes to look at him in the eyes.

But that is my mistake cause I feel like my panty is ready to drop off the way our eyes meet. Even though I'm already familiar with his handsome looks in the internet but still I can't sent the fact that he is more handsome in personal . But before my mind goes wild, a husky voice interrupt my imagination.

Jacob: Yes, Do I know? ( cold tone )

Me: Hi, No you didn't know me and by the way my name is Tara. ( That's it my name is Tara, in short for my introductory biography, I'm alone and no one rely on.)

Jacob: So, Yes, Miss Tara, What are you doing in door? ( cold and shows no interest)

Tara: Hmmm.. How I would say it. My faucet been broken and I call a maintenance but there is no availability of the personnel to fix my faucet. Do you mind doing that for me ?

Jacob: What? Do I look like some kind of person who will fix some broken faucet? (Mocking face)

Tara: Yeah, ofcourse you're not. Ahmm . I'm so sorry Mister, I think I should try more harder to find someone who is perfectly fit in this kind of job which is to fix my broken faucet. ( confuse and disappointed). Again I'm so sorry for interruption.

( Then without waiting for his response, I make my way to elevator down to my floor, then I make a phone call to maintenance service. Afterwards someone arrive to fix the faucet and a minute later the faucet been fix and ready to use.)

Thinking what I had done. I realized that I made done a silly thing and it's so embarrassing. So, I can't help but laughing on it. Then I promise to myself that I will stop my seductive plans towards Jacob and continue my awesome lifestyle right now.

In the next morning I wake up with a good mood. I decided to take a jogging exercise in the whole ground area on this building. When I'm already on the receptionist area of the building I saw a familiar figure and the owner of that figure is no other than but the ungentlemanly Jacob. Wow, what a worst greeting on my good day. Actually, after what happened yesterday the adoration that I feel towards him is been replaced by hate.

So, even though he is gorgeous in his business suit, it cannot cover up my hatred towards him . When he notice me , I shrug and make a boring emotion while looking into his face. Well, I don't care what he want to say to me, so, I make my way to the outside building and start my warm-up and proceed my jogging exercise.

After my morning routine, I become bored. I'm thinking what activity would I do next . So I decided to watch some black and white movies and I love it. I don't know how many movies that I'd been watch but I only realized that I have so many wet tissues on my side and when I look at the time on my clock. I shock it's already 8:30 in the evening and I haven't eaten yet my lunch before. So when I feel that I'm very hungry I decided to grab my food on one of the nearest convenience store in the building.

When I got there I decided to eat instant noodles because that is the easiest to cook and convenient to eat here in the convenience and I can't hold on anymore my hunger. While I'm busy eating my eating my graving, I hear someone mocking on my area. And I look at him with disappointment.

Jacob: So, it's your kitchen have a problem, that's why you are here eating the deadliest food.

Tara: ( I never bother to response on his whatever scientific point of view on my food. But rather I eat hungrily my noodles and when I'm finished and feel full and satisfied, I stand-up and ignore his presence and go back to my penthouse.)

Jacob: So, that's it, you are ignoring me now?

Tara: Look, what is your name Mister? ( I ask blindly as if I didn't know his name).

Jacob: Jacob.

Tara: Ok, Jacob, look I'm not ignoring you, it's just that I'm trying to forget that I regret meeting you on that kind of situation. So, it is better if we ignore each other.

Jacob: So I see that you have a grudge on me.

Tara: Whatever you call it, I don't care. (after that I take a elevator and push the button directly to my floor.

Tara: (The next morning, I heard a doorbell coming from my door, and who the he*l would knock on my door, so without thinking myself of what I look like, I open the door abruptly.

Jacob: Hi, Coffee?

Tara: Coffee? what the he*l are you doing here?

Jacob: Want to offer you some coffee.

Tara: Sorry, I don't like coffee. (trying to close the door but he put his hand on the door to keep it open.)

Jacob: Please, look I realized that I was a jerk towards you the last time we encounter, and I'm sorry.( Sincere)

Tara: Seriously? ( unbelievable)

Jacob: Yes, I mean it.

Tara: Ok come in.

(Then we drink the coffee that he prepare and slowly we become comfortable to each other.)

After that day after day, he keep me accompany in breakfast and sometimes on dinner. And day after day my love for him is growing stronger until after three months, when we are having a dinner on his penthouse.

Jacob: Tara, I want to tell you something.

Tara: Yes, what is it? ( nervous and excited at the same time)

Jacob: This days that we accompany to each other on breakfast and dinner , I feel like I'm home. And I'm grateful that you are here with me, listening to my problems in the company and to my nonsense topic that we sometimes argue . Tara, I don't know if it is possible this for you, but I want to ask this, Will you be my Girlfriend?

Tara: Oh, My God. I don't know what to say, but you don't how much happiness this brought your question to me. But I want to ask you first before I will answer your question. Do you love me?

Jacob: (silent for a moment ) Yes, I do, I love you.

Tara: (His silence is making me nervous but it cover up when I hear him saying that he loves me. ) Really? (happy)

Jacob: I love you

Tara: I love you too. (happiness overload)

(That's the start of our relationship. Then the next morning we decided to stay in one house and that is in his place cause his place is much more bigger than mine . The decision is mostly made by mine, all he do is that to agree.)

After 6 months of relationship, I feel like something off to him, and I didn't bother because I know that's the part of being a couple. But after a week that his mood is something different. I try to ask him.

Tara: Hon, are you okay?

Jacob: Ofcourse ( not looking into my eyes and stay focus on his laptop)

Tara: It's just that I feel like something different in you, I mean it's not good.

Jacob: ( close his laptop and look at her eyes) Tara, what are you thinking? You know what, whatever my mood says , it is not always about you, or this relationship?

Tara: Wait, I didn't say that is about me or this relationship, I'm just concern on you.

Jacob: Well, Its not your business,

Tara: What? but I have a right to ask you something what bother you. Cause I really care for you Jacob. ( sincere)

Jacob: Well, Mind your own business.

Tara: If you don't want to share whatever bothering inside your mind. I tell you this Jacob, this relationship is not going anywhere, because in your attitude that you are showing to me right now I know which will go.

Jacob: Stop your drama Tara, I have enough for you today. So keep your pretty mouth shut and leave me alone.

Tara: ( Without a word I go to our room. Here I let out my tears and trying to calm myself. Maybe he is right I should not care because it is nothing to do with our relationship but I can't help thinking that why is that hard for him to tell me his thoughts).

The next morning I eat my breakfast alone cause when I wake up, Jacob is nowhere to be found in his house. I feel lonely and I almost feel it everyday after our 6 months of living together. To forget my loneliness I decided to clean the house even though there is a regular person who keep this house clean .

So I decided to start with our bedroom , then next to his study area. When I enter in this room. I see that the paper been file and sort perfectly. Then I try to sit on his chair comfortably. Then as I look around the room, it makes me wonder how he maintain this room neat and organized.

Then in my curiosity, I look at the drawer of the table , then I saw a picture frame , when I look at it, I saw a beautiful woman smiling brightly to Jacob. And if I remember correctly this is his ex-wife , Sofia. And I feel like my heart been crashing after seeing it. Then I look at the other drawer . Then I found a notebook it's look like a diary. I know it is a personal thing but I can't help to read what inside it.

Then, I start reading it . On the first page it talks about how he met Sofia, then on his next day, it talks about also on Sofia how her smile makes his heart fluttered. Then I turn to the other page it also talks about Sofia, and when I'm trying to escape the story about Sofia , I found nothing it's all about her, and all, about his love every single day and how he miss her. Even when we already met and live together all he thinks about is his ex-wife.

I can't help my self but to cry and without hesitation I write on his diary the date today , telling that.

Dear Jacob,

I don't know what word can I say to you. But I want to tell and ask you something. Why did you say you love me? I just want to tell you that I really try hard to work this relationship, because even though my past relationship give me an unhappy ending, I still believe that someday I found someone that can make me feel that I'm being loved unconditionally.

And you did, or let us say you are good at it . All along you are pretending that you love me , that you care for me, but after all this time you haven't move on in your ex-wife. And , you are using me as your tool to feel that you are not alone physically but emotionally you are in vain.

Why? I let you in , in my life but you locked me out in your life. Atleast you just being honest to me , that you don't actually love me, so that I make myself free and continue to find love. Everytime I see your name with hers in this diary, it hurts.

And everything that I read, maybe it's time to end this love that I feel towards you because this love is like a drought , and it is very worst and if ever there is a flower that we bloom together, I want to died it with my tears.

P.S. I never regret you but I wish I never met you. ( Tara)