By the time I reached home I was completely drenched in my sweat, wait home? I laughed bitterly by even thinking about this place as a home. There was no one at home right now except my cat Oreo. Mother was out with her husband, the man I can never call father. My siblings were out too doing their own business's. That's how it has been with me always. Either Me or my cat with me.
I reached for my bath's door knob it clicked open, let's do it I whispered under my breath, I clicked the tap open, water started running down, getting collected in the tub, I undressed myself slowly, that long white dress, how clean it was no stains on it, and my past? Submerged in filth! That's it can't take it no more, I looked down at my naked self, my body was perfectly sculpted, soft and delicate, captivating everyone's attention, whether naked or covered. I sighed a deep tired sigh, because of this fucking body people out there never put a pure eye on me, filth always filth in their eyes.
Because of this they had called me bastard, pushing the thoughts back, I went into the tub, layed down there, my jet black hairs now wet, sticked to my waist, I had loved them, because they were the only part my body which is different than my my mother's. My actual father was never known, an unknown guy raped my mother and gave his disgusting sperms as a gift of long lost virginity to my mother. It was her fault, she was so perfect and beautiful.
So bold that he couldn't resist his temptation, she was raped on a rainy day, I was born on a rainy day, today was a rainy day. I closed my eyes, my brain was telling me to proceed to what I was planning for months, I was feeling all the dirty stares and unwanted touches on my body, on my lips, on my waist, on my thighs, on my cheeks, on my neck, on my hands. "Do it"! This was the last sound I heard and that's it, I snap opened my eyes, took the blade from my dress pocket and stared at it, far somewhere a melodious tune was playing mixing with my cats purring and rain thrashing my house...
That bloody blade wasn't even mine, huh! The will to be born wasn't even mine and now the thing which I'll be using to end up this horrendous life wasn't even mine. I had stealed it from my brother's room, One, two, three, four and boom there were four deep horizontal cuts on my wrist, blood oh my there was scarlet deep red blood oozing out in the water everywhere. I hissed, my wrist burnt but it didn't hurt. Nothing ever hurt more than being called bastard when it wasn't even your fault.
My mother, rest of my siblings who weren't even my real family, that man who was my mother's husband, none of them ever loved or cared for me. I had no friends, nobody wanted a bastard as his/her acquaintance of course, and I was completely fine with that, fine alone. Humans had disgusted me always. I felt something warm on my face, tears! sighing heavily I plunged myself whole into the tub, my blood was still oozing out, inside the tub the view was vague, all I can see was red and transparent water, I felt being into my mother's womb, warm, red and watery.
It was happening, finally I was leaving. Consciousness, I was loosing it. My mind felt heavy playing back every memory of my past, red and black flashbacks, bastard bastard bastard was all I heard. My wrist was numb now, but I was happy at last I was leaving, but I was crying, why? Is it because even at my last moments no one was with me...
I lost my breath under water, I whispered *Help* but no sound came out, only bubbles..
View became dark. But before that I had seen myself for the one last time in front of my eyes, happy me, and everything became dark & numb after that...
That's how I had left the world.
AUTHOR NOTE
*This is what happens in most cases, the unwanted child ends up not even wanting themselves, it's the cruel truth whether you like the ending or not, it is what it is, look around yourself maybe this is a real story of real human, cause these things happen Be kind to everyone, otherwise some innocent souls end up disowning their own lives if you don't like the ending then please question this society, thanks.*
