as she wakes up she looks at the walls of her room,
at the ground,
at how lonely and dark her room is,
she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath,
she asks herself....."why am I still alive?"
she asked that question every single day in her life,
she didn't find an answer, no one gave her an answer
she had many feelings, many thoughts,but....
her face didn't change it was an emotionless face
even though she had so many feelings...
all those feelings weren't as strong as her emptiness
no meter how many people were near her she...
always felt empty and lonely,
she was disappointed,disgusted of herself
she didn't want anyone ,
to expect something from her because she knew....
that she would disappoint them.
as she stood up she felt dizzy her head hurt,
she drank a bit of water but nothing changed at all,
so she got back to bed and closed her eyes
"if only I could sleep forever", she said....
with tears falling from her eyes ,her heart hurt
she wanted to scream and cry ,she felt guilty for.... being alive she wanted to tell everyone,
she wanted to scream,
she wanted to cry,
she wanted....to feel happiness,
she wanted someone to hold her hand,
cry with her,
embrace her,
comfort her,
maybe she was asking for too much?,
is that why her wishes were never fulfilled?,
she pitied herself ,
she wanted to die but...she was scared
of the pain,
of what happens after death,
so she just screamed in silent until everything... became dark
