It was another day and I was still alive. I couldn't find out a way to sleep more cuz it was almost noon. Sun was blazing in my face. I could feel the heat of the rays through my old bedsheet.
It has been three days since I got something to eat properly. My stomach has been calling me names for days. I rolled over my rugged bedsheet and kept In my sac. I couldn't even stand properly. Two days before a policeman used his stick to beat me and wake me up. My fate, it went on in my ankle.
He said I should not sleep in railway platform. Why can't I? That was my home for so many days.
I can't bear these mosquito under this bridge and I don't know when I will get snake bite here. Anyhow better than suffering from hunger like this!
I was sinking in my morning thought but suddenly my stomach said!
"Ey you buffoon , find something to eat "
I came to the main road and started walking. Legs were already like paralysed . Three days before I remember eating those remains of marriage function from garbage cans. It has been months since I ate like that. So tasty and I nearly broke my teeth chewing those bones.
But after that I couldn't find anything to eat . And I found out even water has its own taste! I came across the garbage can where I found those marriage remains, but municipality has already cleaned it up.
Today also I planned to go and beg near temple, but people ignore me since i don't have any visible damage . I tried to make me dirty as possible. And I'm worst at acting. but I've tried few times like cripple when I couldn't bear my hunger.
I saw a big house... I went to the gate, checked for dog sign since I have alot of history with dogs. And started shouting as usual. Sound was not coming out of my mouth. I felt like sand is grinding inside my throat.
"Maa.... maa... some food "
As usual no one came out.
One child showed up in veranda but a lady came from inside the house and pulled that small child inside.
Ive seen the same scene many times. It must be that child's mom.
But Where is my mom? I don't like when I start to think abt her...And currently I'm so tired to think .
I lost hope in that home and decided to reach temple as soon as possible.
Temple was almost empty and many of my fellow beggars were already frustrated. I took my place in a corner and drank some more water which I had with me.
A family arrived at the entrance in their car. I was distracted by the beauty of the car. I've never been inside a car. Once I tried to see inside a car suddenly a sound came from it..
"Beep beep beep" ... I got afraid and ran away from there.
There was three members in that car. A man, woman and a child. They walked across us like we never existed.. that child smiled at me. Maybe best thing ever happened today...I didn't smiled back since I was afraid whether child will get fear because of my teeth.
Yes, Ure right. It happened once
They went inside the temple . I saw that man putting a big money note inside that money box . They came outside. Everyone streched their hands for something but they ignored us and left.
From last week they're not letting us inside the temple. I guess God got angry with us since we're not paying him anything.
My eyes were blurry and stomach was playing drums inside. I decided to sleep for a bit. I had the shade of sheets. I was good at sleeping cuz I slept alot for ignoring hunger.
I suddenly wake up by hearing the bell inside temple. It was already evening and I was feeling like glass pieces are stuck inside my stomach...
I stood up took my sac and started searching for food. I tried begging infront of restaurants, I was really wasted so even I tried searching inside garbage can.
I didn't found anything. I fell down in the pathway. I always knew one day I would die because of hunger but never thought that day will come this soon.
I had no fear of death but I could'nt bear the pain. I didn't knew what to do even I thought to commit some crime so that i can live peacefully for few days. Many of my old friends are in jail. They always say it's better there. But I was not ready... maybe afraid.
I was crawling in pain..but people walked around me.. some observed me for few seconds and some people walked like I never existed.
I stood up somehow and walked to a nearby tea stall..
"Anna .. give some food ...im so tired ..I'll die other wise..."
"##&&₹₹ . . Go away.... Just now some customers have came .. Don't ruin my buisness...I will pour hot water in ur face if you didn't go"
I came from there since I knew the taste of hot water before...
I felt everyone has turned evil... Two weeks before I remember that guy... He gave me some thing to eat... One day he even gave me tea..
I sat near the junction for sometime..tried begging the people for few coins ...no use...I couldn't bear the pain anymore..
I decided to steal something.
I was afraid but I knew I will die otherwise...
There was a bakery nearby... They kept some cakes in glass boxes...
I started walking around the store.. I was afraid ...and thought to give up but stomach was not ready to give up...
I tried to gain all confidence I had in my life...
I ran inside the bakery and took one large cake piece and ran off...
"Theif ...theif......" I knew People were running behind me... I was not able to run...
Suddenly I was stunned... A stone hit me in my back..... I didn't had time to scream. I tried to run with all strength I had...
My ankle was weak.. I fell down...
I don't remember anything else.. few people hit me with their legs... I was screaming...
No use ...
One guy pulled me to stand up and punched in my stomach...
I couldn't breathe....
I don't remember anything else...maybe I don't want to remember...
I died that day... This is a letter from heaven to all those who helped me live untill that day... And I don't have any anger towards people who killed me...
Atleast I don't need to feel hungry everyday..
"Dedicated to Madhu.. who was killed brutally for stealing food"
