After 4 years I'm going to meet my best friend who returned after completing her studies in America.
Initially the plan was both of us going to america for our higher studies. But I didn't go with her back then as we planned.
When we were just one step away from going to America the situation in my house was worsened, continuous fight b/w my parents and while my own inner demon was growing stronger inside my head.
I was stuck with two options, one going to America without thinking about the situations and getting my degree from there and getting a good job and improving my family situation.
Two staying here and clear things first and join a nearby college and get a degree using my scholarship for the fees. And of course I choose the easy option fearing the worst outcomes if I went to America .
When I informed her about me not coming with her she asked lots of questions to me, 'how can you back off when we are this close to achieving our goal' 'seriously you're not going to come with me' 'you're really not going to fight for us?' but I don't have any answers for her questions.
The last question pierced my heart but I can't do anything in my situation at that time. It's not like i don't want to share the things with her we always share everything with each other but i can't help sometimes i keep something from her.
When she realized I'm not going to answer her questions she stopped asking me and we both packed her luggage in silence. Till we reach the airport the silence b/w us remained the same.
We both stood there at the airport facing each other with lots of words to talk but nothing came out of our mouths.
She moved forward the line to board next and I stood there watching her boarding the plane. She turned a last time before going inside and waved us a bye.
For the first 2 years everything was going smoothly, she enrolled in America's one of the best uni with her scholarship and i enrolled in my nearby college with my scholarship so i don't need to pay my fees.
We both updated each other about our life as usual and kept sending voice mails to each other. Late night video calls and text.
As the third year rolled, we both got busy with our own uni works and lives. The daily video calls are reduced to weekly and text messages shared rarely.
At first I did not notice these changes immediately but as time went on I noticed it.
But when I noticed these changes I again started to overthink and again started to keep things to myself.
As the fourth year came the distance between us grew too much to patch up.
Now we are finally going to meet, I woke up early this morning and got ready and went to her house to go to the airport with her parents.
While riding to the airport the demon inside again started to say things to make me weak, 'she is going to ignore you like a plague' 'you bond with her got weaken'.
I can't help but think the worst again but this time I'm willing to take any risk. And I trust our bond even with this distance, let's see what happens.
