🔞 Father Figure 🔞🎸🎙❤️‍🔥

I. The Card

The rain had been falling since noon, but Nicky kept playing.

He always played through the rain. It thinned the crowds down to the ones who actually wanted to listen — a woman huddled under the cafe awning, an old man who tossed a few coins and didn't wait for a thank-you, a couple who kissed instead of clapping. Nicky didn't mind. He wasn't playing for them anyway. He was playing because if he stopped, he'd have to go home, and home was a small apartment that smelled like whiskey and silence, where his mother sat in front of the TV with her eyes half-closed and her son's name half-forgotten.

He was eighteen, and he had long since stopped expecting to be seen.

So when the polished black shoes stopped in front of him, he almost didn't look up. People stopped to listen sometimes. Fewer stopped to give anything.

But when he did look up, he found a man standing there — mid-thirties at least, tall, dressed like money that had never once had to explain itself. Black hair, sharp jaw, an umbrella held with the kind of ease that suggested he'd never once been caught without one. He was watching Nicky the way a jeweler watches a stone before deciding whether to cut it.

"You've got potential that is being wasted in the streets," the man said. He said it the way other people commented on the weather — like it cost him nothing, like it was simply a fact he was reporting.

Nicky's fingers stilled on the strings. Nobody talked to him like that. Nobody talked to him like he was worth noticing at all, let alone worth wasting.

He didn't let it show. "Thanks for the compliment. I'm not for sale."

The corner of the man's mouth curved, faint and unreadable. "Of course you aren't." He reached into his coat and produced a card, holding it down between two fingers. "Have you ever heard of trapping luck when it knocks on your door? Consider me a fleeting one. You won't regret giving my company a visit."

Nicky took the card more out of reflex than intention. Sterling Entertainment Group. Before he could ask anything, a second man — younger, an assistant by the look of the coffee cups in his hands — stepped out of the cafe.

"Sir?"

The man in black didn't answer. He turned and got into the car waiting at the curb, and it pulled away into the rain like something out of a dream Nicky hadn't asked to have.

He didn't play again that day.

Involving with him is trouble, he told himself, walking home with the card burning a hole in his pocket. Probably some rich pervert who collects boys off the street. He held the card over a trash can outside his building. His fingers loosened.

He didn't drop it.

He told himself he'd throw it away later. He didn't.

───

A week after that, his mother threw a bottle at him.

She'd been drinking since morning, and the fight started over something so small Nicky couldn't even remember what it was by the time the glass shattered against the wall behind him, shards catching his cheek and his bare foot when he stumbled back. He cleaned the cuts himself, hands shaking, and somewhere in the middle of pulling a sliver of glass out of his heel he realized he was sobbing — not from the pain, but from the sudden, suffocating understanding that there was no one in the world who would notice if he simply stopped existing.

He packed what little he had that night and never went back.

───

Sterling Entertainment Group's lobby was all glass and white marble, and every person who passed him looked at him like he'd tracked something unpleasant in on his shoes. He almost turned around. He'd almost made it back to the door when the receptionist called after him.

"Nicholas Frob? You said you met Mr. Sterling ten days ago, on the street?"

"...Yes."

"One moment." She made a call, spoke quietly, then hung up. "Mr. Sterling's schedule is full today. But Mr. Callahan will see you in a few minutes."

So it wasn't just talk, Nicky thought, his heart doing something strange and unfamiliar in his chest.

Callahan — Grayson's assistant — turned out to be kind in a way Nicky wasn't prepared for, listening to him without once making him feel like a stray that had wandered somewhere it didn't belong. "Come back tomorrow, three o'clock," Callahan told him at the end. "Mr. Sterling will see you himself."

───

Grayson Sterling's office was the size of Nicky's entire apartment. Nicky stood in the doorway feeling every inch of the two-day-old cut on his cheek.

Grayson looked up from his desk, and something in his expression sharpened the moment he saw the mark on Nicky's face. "You didn't have that cut a few days ago."

"I fell."

"Who do you live with?"

"Myself."

"You're still so young."

"I'm eighteen." Nicky lifted his chin. "That's not so young."

Grayson studied him for a long moment — long enough that Nicky had to fight not to look away. "Alright. I won't ask about your family. Not for now." He leaned forward slightly. "But you'll stay honest with me from now on. Understood?"

Nicky nodded before he could think better of it. "Okay."

"Good." Something almost like approval crossed Grayson's face. "You'll meet your team in a week. Until then, you focus on vocal training. Your teacher only cares about perfection — I know you can handle that. Your voice has something worth protecting."

Worth protecting. Nobody had ever put those two words next to Nicky's name before.

"It's Nicky," he said, before he'd decided to say it. "Not Nicholas. I hate Nicholas."

Something flickered behind Grayson's eyes — not quite a smile, but close. "Nicky, then."

───

II. The Golden Years

The next five years reshaped Nicky from the ground up.

Grayson was exacting in a way that could have crushed someone less stubborn — vocal coaches who didn't tolerate a single flat note, stylists who redesigned him inch by inch, a schedule that left no room for anything but the climb. But underneath the exactness was something Nicky had never once had: a floor that didn't give way beneath him. Grayson remembered his coffee order. Grayson noticed when he hadn't slept. Grayson showed up, personally, the one time Nicky collapsed from exhaustion after a tour leg, and didn't leave the hospital room until morning.

Nicky had spent his whole life invisible. Now there was a man who tracked his every movement like it mattered — and God help him, it felt like being loved.

He grew up soft around Grayson in a way he was soft around no one else. Obedient, even, in the particular way of someone who had once had nothing and was terrified of losing the first thing that had ever felt like safety.

Grayson, for his part, told himself it was simple. Protectiveness. Nicky had come to him broken in ways that weren't visible on a stage, and Grayson — divorced, childless, a man who had built a family out of the artists under his name because he'd never managed to keep one any other way — had decided, somewhere along the way, that Nicky was his to look after. That was all it was.

That was what he told himself, right up until the night of Nicky's second album release party, when it stopped being true.

───

Nicky had had too much to drink. He'd spent the whole night glued to Grayson's side, gripping his sleeve every time the room tilted, laughing too loud at things that weren't that funny, glowing with the particular reckless joy of someone who has just watched a dream come fully true. Grayson took him back to his own penthouse rather than risk him being photographed stumbling into his own building.

"You're the only one I have," Nicky told him in the elevator, forehead nearly against Grayson's shoulder. "You know that? The only one." He laughed, giddy and unsteady. "I think I'm falling for you. Isn't that stupid?"

Grayson's chest went tight in a way he refused to examine. "You're drunk, Nicky."

"Doesn't make it not true."

He got Nicky inside, got him out of his jacket, was reaching for a glass of water when Nicky's arms came around his neck and Nicky's mouth found his.

For one unforgivable second, Grayson didn't pull away.

Then he did — gently, carefully, a hand at Nicky's shoulder. "Nicky—"

Nicky's face crumpled like he'd been struck. "You don't want me," he said, voice cracking, and before Grayson could get a single word out to correct him, Nicky's eyes had filled and spilled over, drunk and devastated in equal measure.

"Hey." Grayson cupped his face, thumbs brushing the tears away, his own pulse hammering somewhere in his throat. "Hey, it's not that. You're not thinking straight right now. Come on. Let's get you to bed."

He stayed until Nicky's breathing evened into sleep, sitting on the edge of the mattress with his head in his hands, feeling something inside his chest that he did not have a name for and did not want one for. Then he left the room and didn't sleep at all.

In the morning, Nicky remembered it as something hazy and unreal — a dream, maybe, some fever-image from a night he barely recalled. Grayson said nothing to correct him.

But something in him had changed permanently. He told himself, over and over, that he didn't want Nicky that way — that it would be a violation of everything he'd built between them, of the trust of a boy who had come to him with nothing. He told himself that. And still he found himself watching Nicky's career, Nicky's friendships, Nicky's every public appearance, with a possessiveness he couldn't quite unclench his hand from. Mine, something in him insisted, quiet and constant. I made him. He's mine to keep safe.

He just didn't examine too closely what safe had started to mean.

───

III. The Break

By the time Nicky turned twenty-three, the floor Grayson had built under him had started to feel like a cage.

It happened slowly and then all at once — Nicky wanting creative control Grayson wasn't ready to hand over, wanting to choose his own image, his own sound, his own late nights. Grayson, who had spent five years keeping every wolf in the industry away from him, wasn't capable of loosening his grip just because Nicky asked nicely. Every argument ended the same way: Grayson immovable, certain he knew better, and Nicky more determined every time to prove he didn't need to be managed like a child.

"You don't own me," Nicky told him during their last real fight, voice shaking with something that wasn't quite anger. "I'm not one of your assets."

"I never said you were an asset." Grayson's voice had gone cold in the way it did when he was frightened and didn't know how else to sound. "I said I'm not going to stand by and watch you make a mistake that will—"

"That will what? Embarrass you? Or is it that you can't stand the idea of me making a decision without you?"

Grayson had no answer that wasn't the truth, and the truth was not one he was ready to say out loud. So he said nothing, and Nicky took the silence as confirmation of everything he already believed, and two weeks later he was gone — contract dissolved, name off the label, out into an industry that did not, it turned out, care about him nearly as much without Sterling's name behind him.

───

The next three years were not kind to Nicky.

Without the machine Grayson had built around him, his second attempt at a career floundered. He signed with people who saw him as a name to exploit rather than an artist to protect, and it was one of those people who got him tangled in a deal that turned out to be a fraud operation, and it was Grayson's lawyer — sent without a word of explanation, without Nicky even asking — who got him out of it clean.

Nicky called the lawyer afterward, unable to help himself. "How has he been?"

There was a pause on the other end, long enough that Nicky's grip tightened on the phone. "Honestly? He hasn't been well, lately. If it means anything to you."

Nicky's stomach dropped. "What do you mean, not well? Is he sick?"

"I don't know the specifics. You'd have to ask him yourself." Another pause, gentler this time. "Why don't you go?"

───

IV. The Return

Nicky went to the office first, and found Grayson wasn't there. What he found instead were murmurs from the staff — Mr. Sterling snapping at people who didn't deserve it, changing decisions three times in a day, looking like a man who hadn't slept properly in longer than anyone wanted to say out loud. He'd been keeping tabs on Nicky this whole time, apparently, tracking every move from a distance, never once reaching out, never once interfering.

Nicky went to his house instead.

Grayson opened the door himself. He looked older than three years should have made him — new lines at the corners of his eyes, something worn into the set of his mouth that hadn't been there before. He didn't say much. He just stepped back and let Nicky in, then led the way toward the kitchen, the silence between them too full to fill with small talk.

"Drink?" Grayson asked, already reaching for a glass, his voice pitched carefully even.

"Sure."

Nicky watched him pour it — and that was when he saw it. The faint, betraying tremor in Grayson's hand, there and gone, the kind of thing he'd have missed if he hadn't spent five years learning every version of this man there was to learn. Without thinking, he reached out and closed his hand over Grayson's, stilling it against the counter.

"Thank you," Nicky said quietly. "For the lawyer."

Grayson went very still. "It was nothing," he said, and tried to pull his hand back.

Nicky didn't let go. Instead he stepped in and wrapped both arms around Grayson's neck, pressing his face into the curve of his shoulder the way he used to when he was twenty and certain Grayson was the only steady thing in his life. "I'm sorry," he murmured against his skin. "For leaving like that. For everything I said."

For a moment Grayson simply stood there, frozen, arms rigid at his sides. Then something in him broke open, and he was hugging Nicky back hard enough to bruise, one hand cradling the back of his head, lips pressed to his hair, his temple, anywhere he could reach.

Nicky felt him shaking and realized, with a jolt, that Grayson was crying.

"You were lonely too, huh," Nicky said quietly. It wasn't really a question.

"Yeah." Grayson's voice came out hoarse, stripped of every careful edge he usually kept around it. "So fucking much."

Nicky pulled back just far enough to take his face in both hands, thumbs brushing over wet cheekbones, and found his own eyes were blurring too, tears he hadn't noticed starting spilling freely now. He kissed Grayson's jaw, the corner of his eye, his damp cheek — anywhere but his mouth, some instinct in him wanting Grayson to be the one to close that last distance himself.

"I'm here," Nicky told him, forehead resting against his, both of them wrecked and unhidden in a way neither had ever let the other see before. "I'm not leaving you alone again. Not after everything. You stayed with me all those years — now let me stay with you."

Grayson leaned in like he meant to kiss him properly, and then stopped himself an inch away, some old fear locking his jaw. "What if I only hurt you more? I already ruined things once, trying to keep you close."

"You didn't ruin anything." Nicky closed the last of the distance himself. "Don't hold back. I've been in love with you since I was twenty, Gray."

Grayson made a sound low in his throat, something between disbelief and grief. "I went too far. I wanted to keep you so badly I couldn't see I was suffocating you."

"You did all that because you wanted me to be yours." Nicky's voice trembled, but he didn't look away. "That's what this whole time was, wasn't it?"

"Yes," Grayson admitted, like it cost him something to say it out loud after years of pretending otherwise.

"Then have me." Nicky's hands slid to the collar of his shirt, holding on like he'd never let go again. "All of me. Stop holding back and take what's already yours."

Whatever restraint Grayson had left gave out entirely. He kissed Nicky like a man who had spent years starving and finally stopped pretending he wasn't, one hand fisted in his hair, the other pulling him flush against him, and Nicky melted into it with a small broken sound that undid whatever was left of Grayson's control.

"Do you have any idea," Grayson murmured against his mouth, between kisses, "how many nights I lay awake choking on everything I wasn't letting myself say to you?"

"Tell me now." Nicky's fingers were already working at the buttons of his shirt, impatient, desperate. "Tell me everything you didn't let yourself say."

They didn't make it further than the hallway before clothes started coming off between kisses, both of them clumsy with an urgency that had been building for six years. Grayson's mouth found the column of Nicky's throat, dragging lower, and every place his lips touched he murmured something against Nicky's skin — mine, I missed you, my beautiful boy — like the words had been dammed up so long they were spilling out faster than he could choose them.

"I thought about you every night." Nicky's voice cracked, fingers tangled in Grayson's hair, guiding his mouth back up to his own because he couldn't stand to go a second without it. "I used to dream you were holding me like this. I'd wake up and hate myself for wishing it was real."

Grayson went still for half a second, forehead dropping to Nicky's shoulder. "One of those dreams was real," he admitted, voice rough. "The night after your album party. You kissed me, and I wanted — God, Nicky, I wanted so badly. But you were drunk, and I told myself it would've been unforgivable to take anything from you that you weren't clear-headed enough to give. So I left the room and let you believe it never happened." He pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes dark and unguarded. "I can't keep pretending anymore. Watching you fall apart out there without me, feeling myself come apart the same way — I can't just be your father figure. Not when you're standing here wanting me the way I've wanted you for six years."

"Then stop holding back," Nicky breathed, pulling him back in. "I'm not a boy you have to protect from yourself anymore, Gray. I'm a man who's wanted you since I was twenty. Show me."

They found their way to Grayson's bed still tangled together, unwilling to break contact even to breathe. Grayson laid him down like something rare he'd finally been allowed to touch, and he took his time proving it — mouth and hands moving over every inch of him with a reverence close to worship, mapping scars and muscle and skin like he was memorizing something he intended never to lose again.

He kissed the old cut on Nicky's cheek first, then the line of his throat, the hollow between his collarbones, the place just above his heart. His hands slid down Nicky's sides, thumbs brushing the ridges of his ribs, then lower, pushing his thighs apart with deliberate care. When he took Nicky into his mouth it was slow, thorough, almost aching in its patience — tongue and lips and the soft scrape of teeth until Nicky was gasping his name and twisting the sheets in both fists.

"Gray— please—"

Grayson only hummed around him, one hand pinning Nicky's hip to the mattress when he tried to thrust up. He stayed there until Nicky was trembling on the edge, then pulled off with a wet sound and kissed his way back up, settling over him fully. Their cocks slid together, slick and hard, and Grayson rocked against him once, twice, just enough pressure to make Nicky's head tip back with a broken sound.

"Look at me," Grayson said, voice low and rough. When Nicky's eyes opened, glassy and dark, Grayson reached between them, guided himself to Nicky's entrance, and pushed in — slow, steady, watching every flicker of expression on Nicky's face. He didn't stop until he was buried to the hilt, forehead pressed to Nicky's, both of them breathing like they'd run for years and finally stopped.

"Fuck—" Nicky's voice cracked. His legs wrapped around Grayson's waist, heels digging into the small of his back. "Gray— move—"

Grayson did. He started with long, deep strokes, the kind that dragged every inch of him against that place inside Nicky that made his breath hitch and his nails dig into Grayson's shoulders. Each thrust was measured at first, almost careful, as if he still couldn't quite believe he was allowed this. Then Nicky dragged him down into a kiss that was all tongue and teeth and desperation, and something in Grayson snapped.

He drove harder, deeper, one hand braced beside Nicky's head, the other gripping his thigh hard enough to leave marks. "You feel—" he gritted out against Nicky's mouth, "—exactly like I imagined. Every fucking night. Perfect. Mine."

"Yours," Nicky gasped, arching up to meet every thrust. "Always— been yours—"

Grayson shifted the angle and Nicky cried out, head falling back against the pillows. Grayson took the opening, mouth finding the side of his throat, sucking a mark into the skin while his hips snapped faster, the wet sound of their bodies filling the room. He kept talking, low and unbroken, the words spilling out the same way the tears had earlier — how long he'd wanted this, how many times he'd woken hard and aching and refused to touch himself because it felt like stealing, how beautiful Nicky looked like this, open and taking him, how he was never letting him leave again.

Nicky came first, spilling between them with Grayson's name torn from his throat, body clamping down hard enough that Grayson followed almost immediately, burying himself deep and shuddering through it, forehead pressed to Nicky's as he filled him. They stayed locked together through the aftershocks, breathing the same air, neither willing to separate.

When it was over they lay tangled together, Nicky's head on Grayson's chest, Grayson's fingers moving idly through his hair like he still couldn't quite believe he was allowed to.

"I'm not going anywhere," Nicky said again, quieter this time, already half asleep.

Grayson pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Neither am I."

───

V. After

Things were different the second time, in the ways that mattered.

Grayson didn't let go of his protectiveness — that wasn't something either of them expected or wanted from him — but he learned, slowly, to loosen his grip on the things that had never needed holding so tightly. Nicky came back to the label on his own terms this time: creative control that was actually his, a contract Grayson had his lawyers rewrite from scratch to make sure it read like a partnership and not a leash.

They fought, sometimes — old habits didn't disappear just because the truth was finally out in the open — but it was different now, cleaner, the kind of argument that ended in someone reaching for the other's hand instead of walking out the door.

Nicky still teased him about the umbrella. Grayson still hated it when reporters asked how they met, because the real answer was far stranger and far more theirs than anything he was willing to hand over to a headline.

But some nights, lying in the dark with Nicky's head on his chest and Nicky's fingers laced through his, Grayson thought about a boy playing guitar in the rain, certain that no one in the world would ever stop for him — and he thought, I stopped. I'm still stopped. I don't think I'm ever going to walk away again.

Nicky, half asleep against him, thought something similar, in his own way: I finally have someone who isn't going anywhere. And it only took both of us falling apart to figure out how to actually hold on.