Nobody at the little restaurant questioned the man at first.
It was the ostrich that made people stare.
The bird was enormous—tall, elegant, and completely unbothered—as it followed the man through the door like it had been coming there for years.
The waitress blinked.
The man sat down.
The ostrich sat beside him.
She decided not to ask.
“Ready to order?”
“A hamburger, fries, and a Coke,” the man said.
Then he looked at the ostrich.
“What about you?”
“I’ll have the same,” the ostrich replied.
The waitress froze for half a second.
Then she wrote it down.
A few minutes later, she returned with two meals.
“That’ll be $9.40.”
The man calmly reached into his pocket and placed exactly $9.40 on the table.
Not $10.
Not a handful of coins.
Exactly $9.40.
The waitress raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
The next day, they came back.
Same man.
Same ostrich.
Same table.
“A hamburger, fries, and a Coke,” the man said.
“I’ll have the same,” said the ostrich.
When the bill arrived, the man reached into his pocket and produced the exact amount again.
This happened again.
And again.
Soon, the waitress stopped being surprised by the ostrich.
She was more interested in the man's pocket.
Then Friday night came.
The man walked in with the ostrich as usual.
The waitress smiled.
“The usual?”
“Not tonight,” the man said. “It’s Friday. I’ll have a steak, baked potato, and salad.”
The ostrich nodded.
“Same.”
The waitress disappeared into the kitchen.
When she returned, she placed the food on the table.
“That’ll be $32.62.”
The man reached into his pocket.
Coins clinked.
He counted them.
Exactly $32.62.
He placed the money on the table.
The waitress finally snapped.
“Okay. I have to ask.”
The man looked up.
“How do you always have the exact amount of money in your pocket? Every single time?”
The man leaned back.
“It’s a long story.”
The waitress pulled up a chair.
“I have time.”
The man sighed.
“Several years ago, I was cleaning my attic. I found an old lamp.”
The waitress immediately knew where this was going.
“You rubbed it?”
“Of course.”
“And a genie appeared?”
“Exactly.”
The waitress leaned closer.
“He offered me two wishes.”
“So what did you wish for?”
“My first wish was simple. I told the genie that whenever I needed to pay for something, I could reach into my pocket and find the exact amount of money I needed.”
The waitress stared at him.
“That is actually genius.”
The man smiled proudly.
“I never have to worry about money. Milk? Exact change. Dinner? Exact change. A car? Exact change.”
She nodded.
“You could have wished for a million dollars.”
“I could have.”
“But this is basically unlimited money.”
“Exactly.”
The waitress looked impressed.
Then she glanced at the enormous ostrich standing beside him.
She pointed at the bird.
“Okay…”
The man sighed.
“What?”
“What’s the deal with the ostrich?”
The man went quiet.
He looked at the ostrich.
The ostrich looked back at him.
Then the man slowly rubbed his forehead.
“That…”
He paused.
“…was my second wish.”
The waitress waited.
The man finally whispered:
“I wished for a tall chick with long legs who would follow me everywhere…”
He glanced at the ostrich.
“…and agree with everything I say.”
The waitress stared at the bird.
The bird stared back.
Nobody spoke.
Finally, the ostrich nodded.
“I’ll have the same.”
And the waitress realized that unlimited money wasn't the man's biggest problem.
It was his wish-making skills.
Moral: Sometimes the brain works perfectly… right up until it starts thinking about women.
