There are some decisions in life that seem completely reasonable when you make them.
And then there are decisions that, approximately twelve hours later, make you sit in silence and question every choice that brought you to that moment.
Downloading Mobile Legends was supposed to be one of the reasonable ones.
It wasn't.
It was a disaster.
A beautiful, spectacular, Wi-Fi-powered disaster.
It all started with Pari.
She told me that she used to play Mobile Legends in college.
And that reminded me that I had actually played the game before too.
I had downloaded it sometime in the past, played for a while, and eventually got bored.
So naturally...
I uninstalled it.
Because apparently I had better things to do.
Until Pari mentioned that she played it.
Then suddenly my brain went:
“Wait.”
“She plays Mobile Legends?”
“I could play Mobile Legends with her.”
And that was it.
That was the reason I downloaded the game again.
Not because I desperately wanted to become a professional gamer.
Not because I had some grand ambition of reaching the highest rank known to humanity.
No.
I just thought:
“I've never really played a game with a friend before. Let's play together.”
Simple.
Innocent.
Completely harmless.
What could possibly go wrong?
Oh, you poor, optimistic version of me.
You had no idea.
I downloaded the game again yesterday.
And somehow, things escalated very quickly.
I started playing.
I got to Level 9 surprisingly fast.
I unlocked new heroes.
I started playing more matches.
And then the achievements started appearing.
Maniac.
Solo Kill.
Legendary achievements.
And a whole collection of other achievements that I honestly don't even remember anymore because there were so many.
And the funniest thing?
I wasn't even that impressed with myself.
I'd get an achievement and just go:
“Oh.”
Another one?
“Okay.”
Another?
“Nice.”
Then I'd continue playing.
I wasn't sitting there screaming.
I wasn't celebrating.
I wasn't making an announcement.
I was just casually playing like:
“Okay, apparently that happened.”
Meanwhile, the game was probably looking at me like:
This person has been playing for five minutes and already thinks she's immortal.
Then something else started happening.
Random strangers started inviting me.
People I didn't even know.
They had played with me, seen how I played, and apparently decided:
“Yes. That person. We need that person.”
And I was sitting there thinking:
Wait... strangers are actually inviting me to play?
That felt pretty good.
Then one random stranger invited me for a one-versus-one match.
Naturally, I accepted.
And then that match happened.
He killed me.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Then four.
Then five.
At some point, I stopped counting.
Eventually, the final numbers were:
Him: 21 kills.
Me: 5 kills.
Twenty.
One.
To.
Five.
A reasonable person might look at those statistics and conclude:
“Well, obviously he won.”
But somehow...
I still won the match.
I don't know how.
I genuinely don't know.
I wasn't thinking strategically.
I wasn't calculating his movements.
I wasn't sitting there like some chess grandmaster planning twelve moves ahead.
My brain was just:
“Hit him.”
“Don't die.”
“Oh, I died.”
“Hit him again.”
And somehow...
VICTORY.
I just stared at the screen.
“...How?”
Even I didn't know.
But I didn't question it.
I simply accepted my mysterious victory and continued playing.
Eventually, I remembered the actual reason I had downloaded the game again.
Pari.
So I messaged her.
“When are you going to come and play?”
And then she said:
“Let's play it now.”
...
That was it.
The moment had arrived.
The opportunity I had been waiting for.
I looked at that message and thought:
Okay.
Time to shine.
This was my chance.
I had been playing with complete strangers.
I had been getting Maniacs.
I had gotten solo kills.
Random people were inviting me.
I had even somehow defeated a person who killed me twenty-one times.
I was ready.
I thought:
I'll show her how good I am.
She'll see my gameplay.
She'll probably say, “Wow, you're so good! I didn't know you were this good!”
And naturally, I would respond like I was completely unaffected.
Something like:
“Oh, really? It's nothing.”
Meanwhile, internally:
I HAVE FINALLY ACHIEVED RECOGNITION.
I accepted her invitation.
I joined the game.
I was ready to perform.
I was ready to demonstrate.
I was ready to establish my reputation.
And then...
BOOM.
The universe saw my confidence and decided it had become excessive.
First came the AFK situation.
Because of the previous AFK violation, my first game was being handled by the AI.
So imagine this.
I had just joined Pari.
The person I wanted to impress.
And instead of immediately showing off my legendary skills...
my own AI was playing my character.
I was basically sitting there watching my digital self like:
“Could you please stop embarrassing me before I've even started?”
Eventually, I got control of my own game.
I thought:
Okay.
No problem.
Now I'll show her.
And then...
The lag started.
At first, it was small.
A little delay.
I moved.
The character moved slightly later.
I attacked.
There was a delay.
I thought:
Okay, weird.
Then it got worse.
And worse.
And suddenly...
my character wasn't listening to me.
I pressed a button.
Nothing.
I tried moving.
Nothing.
I tried again.
Still nothing.
The game was apparently receiving my commands through a government office.
Every action needed approval.
Meanwhile, the enemies were moving perfectly.
And I was standing there like:
“MOVE.”
My character:
“No.”
“ATTACK.”
My character:
“Absolutely not.”
“PLEASE DO SOMETHING.”
My character:
“I have chosen peace.”
😭
And because I couldn't properly move or fight...
I started dying.
Again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Normally, I die once or twice.
That's it.
But suddenly?
I was getting killed multiple times.
I didn't understand what was happening.
I was sitting there thinking:
“Who is playing this account right now?”
Because surely this wasn't me.
This looked like someone who had never touched a phone before.
My entire gaming ability had apparently packed its bags and gone somewhere else.
So I apologized in the chat.
One of my teammates actually responded:
“It's okay, just play safe, okay?”
And honestly?
That was nice.
I appreciated that.
But then another teammate basically told me:
“Go do the basic training first.”
...
I felt that.
Deeply.
Because somewhere inside me, ten Maniacs, multiple solo kills, random invitations, and my entire gaming reputation all stood together in a circle.
And one of them whispered:
“We're finished.”
I had gone from:
“I'm going to impress Pari.”
to:
“Perhaps I should return to the tutorial.”
But the lag wasn't finished with me.
No.
It had only begun.
My character still wouldn't move properly.
I couldn't react.
I couldn't fight properly.
I couldn't do anything.
And then suddenly...
BOOM.
I got kicked out of the game.
MID-PLAY.
I literally flew away.
Gone.
Disconnected.
Vanished from existence.
One second I was in the match.
The next second I was somewhere outside the game wondering what had just happened.
I was sitting there like:
“WHAT?”
“WHY?”
“WHY NOW?”
Of every possible moment for my internet to collapse...
it chose the exact moment I was trying to impress someone.
My Wi-Fi had apparently developed a sense of humor.
I immediately went to WhatsApp and told Pari:
“This is not how I play. I just got lag.”
Because I had to defend myself.
I could not allow that match to become the official historical record of my gaming ability.
She said:
“Okay.”
And I thought:
Good.
She understands.
So I joined again.
Surely it would be fixed now.
Surely.
Absolutely.
Definitely.
...
No.
The lag came back.
At this point, the game wasn't even pretending to cooperate.
I was lagging so badly.
My character wouldn't move.
The screen would freeze.
Everything would load.
I would wait.
And wait.
And somehow the match was still happening.
The game had basically transformed into:
Mobile Legends: Loading Edition
Meanwhile, everyone else was playing normally.
They were fighting.
Moving.
Attacking.
Doing everything.
And I was sitting there somewhere in the digital void.
Technically still in the match.
Physically?
Spiritually?
Absolutely not.
Then something even more ridiculous happened.
The game continued without me.
The other players were still playing.
And I couldn't properly see what was happening because I was still loading.
It was like everyone had entered another universe and I was standing outside the entrance holding a ticket that said:
“Please wait.”
And then...
Victory.
My team won.
Without me.
And at the exact moment the victory screen appeared...
MY CHARACTER RESPAWNED.
I came back.
At the victory moment.
I literally returned to the battlefield after the war was already over.
Everyone else:
VICTORY! 🎉
Me:
respawns
“I have arrived.”
Everyone else:
“Where were you?”
Me:
“I don't know.”
I had gone from being the person getting Maniacs and solo kills...
to the person who respawned during the victory screen.
This wasn't a match anymore.
This was a full-blown character assassination.
My gaming reputation had been destroyed in approximately one hour.
And the worst part?
This was the one match where I actually wanted to show someone how good I was.
When I was playing with complete strangers?
I was casually getting achievements.
When random people invited me?
I played normally.
When someone challenged me one-on-one?
I somehow won despite getting killed twenty-one times.
But when Pari said:
“Let's play.”
My brain went:
“PERFORM.”
My hands went:
“No.”
My internet went:
“Absolutely not.”
And Mobile Legends went:
“Let's make this memorable.”
By the end, I was exhausted.
I told myself:
“Let's not play anymore.”
And I left.
I just sat there thinking about what had happened.
I could already imagine Pari thinking:
What kind of player is this?
And honestly...
I couldn't blame her.
Because if I had only seen that match, I would probably have wondered too.
But I knew the truth.
I wasn't suddenly bad.
I was nervous because I wanted to impress her.
Then the game started lagging.
Then I started dying.
Then I got kicked.
Then I rejoined.
Then I lagged again.
Then everyone won without me.
Then I respawned during the victory screen.
This wasn't gameplay.
This was a comedy plot.
And tomorrow, I have one mission.
I need to explain to Pari what actually happened.
Because I refuse to let my first proper gaming session with her become the official historical record of my abilities.
She needs to know that I actually play well.
Normally.
When the universe isn't actively sabotaging me.
Because I swear...
I am actually good at this game.
Probably.
Unless Pari joins again.
Then we're all doomed. 🎮😭
