I wonder why I loved him...I still do sometimes, think what made him so special in that carefree youth of mine.
Being shy and keeping quiet were things I thought I was best at. Until one more thing was added to the list, having a secret crush. He had the most dazzling smile I'd ever seen, and which made my heart flutter, and lean muscular arms, which I day-dreamed of being held in... someday....
"Dreams....when the person you meet at the stroke of midnight, disappears, leaving you to wish to see them again. But that soap bubble of your delusions and fantasies....is meant to be broken."
But was that all??...those five years, of boringly liking someone, yet restraining myself not to make it obvious, hiding those small weaknesses that probably only I bothered with, and grinning a bit more, to atleast make myself "look" happy even if I wasn't.
Or....was it only me who poured a little bit of that perfume hidden in my mother's drawer, on the day I sat next to him in the class....When, our fingers carelessly brushed past each other as we rushed past the corridor...
Or when I carefully chose a desk a little behind him, hoping to be a bit more closer. Hiding near those stairs which I was certain he would go by, was it, only me....?
Did he never notice, or was I never noticeable enough?
It was a mirage, that broke after graduation. Beautifully cherished were those glass pieces that I gathered up and locked in my share of memories...
I still reason...Why was it only me....? Could it have been...him...too?
