I have been there before

guys this is a real accident ,,,I really don't believe in reincarnation ,,,, it's just feel an useless thing to do (thinking about your pass) but I didn't knew that could change my life in a minute,.

I am 15 years than ,, I began to have recurrent dreams from which would wake up with a lingering sadness , often finding my face wet with tears. each time k wonder why I was having this dream. my dream featured a big , three- storeyed traditional bhutanese house, with a large covered balcony on the second floor. a slender, retger tall woman , perhaps in her late twenties, would be standing on the balcony ,,,

she have long black hair... she was the prettiest girl I have every seen ,,, but her face was covered with sadness ,,

even though I don't know who was she but I can feel her pain ,, the heartache ,,, it makes me sick ,,,

not even saying anything ,,tears fall from here eyes ,,,, every time I see her ,,, I feel like j was her standing,, staring at the moon ,,,, it feels like she was waiting for someone but that " someone " never came ,,,,, she knew that the person she was waiting for will never come( I guess that someone was probably her lover ) but she didn't give up ,,,,. she had fath that the person will come and take her with him ,,,,,it's was not easy than I thought ,the feeling she was having and the feelings I am having now was totally same, every day and every season I waited for him ,,, but still there was no sign ,,,later I knew one night ,,,

she was actually crying hard ,,,, my heart was crying to,,,,, then she stoped crying for a min and touched her belly with her hands,

it was a strange feelings ,,I still remember that feeling ,,,,later I knew she was going to become a mother ,,,,,,

she started crying again ,,,,I don't know what was she thinking ,,,and I was scared too ,,,

my thoughts: ( what if she killed herself )

all my heart was hurting ,,,,,

but she did not give up she thought about the child and about herself ,,,,

but still she didn't knew what she should do,,,,. probably she don't want her child to have no father ,,,,,

the child was growing in her belly ,,I couldn't even understand what is she feeling ,, should she be sad or happy ,,

I clearly don't remember much ,,,, but Everytime I think about it I feel like I have no right to live ,,,,

thinking about the child ,,,my heart feels sad ,,,sometimes I also think what kind of lover she had ,,,,he probably be a jerk who doesn't even care about her ,,,,,,

after I didn't had that dream for almost 3 weeks ,,,I should be happy that I stoped having that dream but I was still qurious what happend to her and that baby ,,,, how was the baby ,,,,was it safely borned ?? many questions were coming in my heard ,,I still wanna know ,!!! I shouted at my self ,,,,

I was really down ,,when I reached home for school ,,,I am still a middle schools kid ,,,I shouldn't think about it ,,I always told my self ,,,my mom was worried ,,,and told me

why was I so down that I didn't even are my breakfast ,,,

I told every thing to my mom ,,,,she was also supriced ,,,,,

she also didn't knew about this things too but she told me , " even it was sad even it was hurting ,,,,it's all pass ,,,, just focuss in present ,,,you are only 15 years old it's not good for you to think about your pass-"

she stoped

pass??? what you mean ???

( does she mean that woman was me ???)

she didn't want me to know what she was thinking ,,,,no its not like that ,,, I think it will be better if you didn't think about it ,,,she went out ,,,,she looks upset too ,,,I better do not tell her about it again she will be worried about me ,,,,,,

finely it was winter vacation ,,,,

I was about to forget about it .....

I met a new person ...

his name was jems

he looks simple all he do was playing video games ,,,,he wears glasses ,,,,, he was good in studies ,,but totally strange to me ,,,,,

but in kind moments he seems to notice me ,,,,. ( but I never looked at him when is us looking at me ) we were neighbors ,,,,he just stays the next door ,,,

al the time I keep thinking that he must be acting cool that he is not even talking with me ( I was angroy in some ways )

finelly one day he talked with me but what he told we was " your mom told my mom that you don't know who to cook , so my mom send some snacks and fruits for you" surely my mom went to her training ,,,and I will left in home all alone ,,,,,

he talks so serious to me ,,,,( I haven't seen him laught ,,. not even once )

somedays later ,,,,, jems mom invited me for dinner ,,,,( all these days I have been eating outside food, )

when I went to their house ,,,I was nervous more like that.......jems had 2 sisters ,little and elder sisters ,,,they were firendly, and uncle was more like jocky man ,

we all set in the dinning room table,,,,, I didn't knew what to say ,,,,,

but jems mom said ," don't feel uncomfortable ,after all we are all families ,,,

" we are all families" I never had dinner with many people all I had in my family was my mom and j never had dad or sblings,,,,

i didn't say anything cas they knew that I was really touched ........

after all we had a wonderful dinner ,,it really felt like a family,,,

I was ready to go back home , but unfortunately both sisters stoped me ,,,,so i sleepover in their house well my home is only a steep further 😌

I noticed that all this time jems didn't talked with me nor did he said anything to anyone ,,a he was doing is playing video games ,,,,,,

I was kinda upset ,,,,,

that night I again dreamed the same dream "again" I was scared ....

I wonder it have been so long since I have dreamed about it ,,,,, why today???? I was sweating ,,,,,and panicking ,,,,,,,

but still all k saw was the same movement ,,,,,a beautiful girl with a sad face ,,,,

I don't want to think about it but ....I can't help my self ,,,,,,,I don't wanna feel the way she is feeling ,,,,,my heart hurts ,,,I really don't want ,,,,

in the middle of the night I started crying ( not the way like a kid )....I was hopimg when will this story ends ??? suddenly jems elder sister saw me she was worried ,,,,,guess what all the family thought I was " homesick" 😑

well I'm not a kid ,,

they were worried,,,,,than jems came out of this room wondering what happend and when he knew that I was homesick , I cants believe is laughed ,,,,,, his parents were too shocked seeing him ,,,,,. I was embarrassed ....did he just laught at me ,😑

I was like embarrassed to death ,,,,,, at last they all went back to bed ......I really looked like a cry baby.

actually I was scared to dream that again although I want to know what happened but I also don't want to hurt my feeling just be knowing about her ,,,,,,

I remembered what mom said," about my past"

the girl ........am I really her ?

was I reborned ????( because of reading manga all I knew was " I was reborned"

that sounds crazy 😂" some time "

finelly my mom was back from training ,,,,,

and it have been a month I kept dreaming about that dream again and again ,,,,,,( I feel useless) I tried my best to dream about what happend next but all it was is failure ,,,,,

but now from that day ....

on date 1/9th after the days of new years on my birthday,,,,,,,we had a grand party amount our neighbors ,,,,at the same night .......I remembered ......

that woman was crying like always,,but she was already pregnant for 8 months .the room seems kinda ancient but not that much as I see ,,,,the room was normal ,,all I noticed carefully was there was no electricity( I can't leave with out electricity) ,,,,,,I usually saw only the light of the moon ,,,,

it was a beautiful view,

suddenly she was hurting, she shouted and some survents came from out side( I really don't know about her identy 😌 but she must be a rich ,, I heardly remember 🤧,

it was time for the baby to come in this world ,,,,, hurrying the survents calls a doctor ,,,,, the doctor was a woman ..... she was wearing a strange choth ,,,,

that moment I also wanted to help her but somehow I was not able to run ( I tried but couldn't) she was really not feeling well ,,,

the doctor was also worried whether she could save her or not,. that mome...nt ........she was shouting,,she kept telling the doctor that she don't wanna die she wanna live,,,she still haven't seen the person she have been waiting for so long and she also wanted to hug her baby in her arms ,,,,,, every moment she cried ,,,,,,,,the doctor couldn't do anything ( if she was in our time the doctors must have taken action already but sadly in that time the doctor was useless ) I felt kinda angry too ☹️...

every drop of her tears,,,,( I clearly remembered that tears and,,,,, the way she was shouting for her life ,,,,, she fell from her bed and in the last moment she looked at the belcony and what she say was a man running towards her ,,, she was happy (,,,I don't really remember the looks of that man but the looks were kinda familiar)

the last moment of her life ,,,she finelly met him ,,,,,even though she was dying but now with sadness but with happniess ,,,,, --------

the baby was borned it was a beautiful girl ,,,that was the saddest part of my life ,,,,the baby just looked like her mother ,,,,,I remember little that the man was wearing a strange coad ( I guess it was a shoulder's dress,, I think that he went on a war ) ( only guess)

I suddenly woke up ,,,,,tears all over my pellow ,,,,,I was like sad that she died like that and happy that she had a smile on her face ,,😢

I was reliefed ........

i am happy to see the ending ,,,,,,. I don't know weather I waw reborned or anything you say but I feel awesome to know about someone else's life .........

morning my mom was so excited to see me happy today ,,,I had a bright face ,,,

" mom I'm going school now !"

while walking I stoped in between a traditional house ( I kinda wanted to go in ) it was a familiar atmosphere .......

then I went inside ,,,,,,,

a old grandmother was cutting the grass ......

she had a long and black hair ,,,,,,,

she saw me ,,,,I was frightened ...

" who are you and what are you doing here?"

( well I also don't know why I came here )

suddenly the grandma's face becomes bright ,,,,

kids these days are so careless 😄

I felt so much pain ,,,my heart doesn't stop beating fast,,,,,,

"grandma can I know about this pance ?"

I asked her

ya this place is where I grew up 😄

i love this place 😊

" what about your family?" ( ops mistakenly spoken )

my family...........my dad died when I was 10 years old ..😌

"what about your mother?"(what am I saying )

my mom she ........I don't know where is she or who she was ,,,,all I remember is she died while giving be birth ( with a sad face )

I was totally shocked

( ii.....I am reborned!!!!!)

but what u remember was I was late for my school

yaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I'm late !!!!!

the grandma looked at me and laughs

see you around kid 😊

sure grandma (running )

while running ( I can clearly say that grandma was the daughter "she" gave birth to 🙂........damn I'm late !!!!!!!!!!

END

HELLO HOPE YOU LIKED IT

WELL ITS A TRUE STORY ABOUT MY SELF

SORRY IF I DID MANY MISTAKES IN SPELLINGS AND ALL YOU KNOW IM STILL MIDDLE SCHOOL KID 😣😜

AUTHOR-. nuna 💛