There was a little girl whom was moulded by lies, she hid her feelings just because she shy,
at 5 'I want to travel around the world and become happy! "
by the age of 10 a simple mistake teaches her something, that her lips drop and she lose her grip and smile
"If i die..will they noticed?" but she still happy,
"if i kill myself.. will they mourn over me? no.. if i do that mother will cry.. " so she made a decision not to cry because she believed on her 11th birthday,
"i had my period.. i'm a grown up! I can't wait to be success making my family proud! "
she never missed her late father, she told everyone not to worry in apologizing if they ask how her father is, "it's not your fault he died.. "
she grew up happy, noticing that the love she bears was changing..later she knew people only love her brain but not her heart,
In the motto of her school's magazine she wrote
"don't be so prouded, crazy man might be clever than you are, they have sees something superior, which you have not see, ever wonder why they become crazy? "
Each day till she reached he 18s, wonders every morning,
"if i became crazy, will my family threw me away? will they noticed what they have done?"
"should i pretend?"
"lord.. erase my memories.. make a car hit me.. put me down to sleep till i'm happy..if possible kill me"
after a while, she found hope, she was so happy that she pray everyday that her life will become beautiful each time the sun arise, she started to have ambitions,
"why does she limping?" she asked her sister about her daughter a tri colour kitten,
"did someone hit her? " no one cares,
for quite a while, she resign from her work to take care of her daughter and ended losing her after months of effort, 1 week before she go, the girl started to abandoned her and busy with her art works, nights of cold she was in pain and the girl assumed she will be fine, because she was miracle cat nearly died many times yet still survived, did she lose her nine lives?
at the age of 20, she hates herself and the year, 2020? a shitty year! and she was losing herself often worried,
"should i study? should i work? where should i be? did everyone loves me? or i'm useless now? how can i work if my head about to burst?!"
well someone thought she was resigning the second time because she cannot stand to work more than 8 hours,
"did I?"
"i'm sorry..i'll be better.. "
"i'll find money.. i will study..i will invest..i will move into my own house.."
"once..people likes it when i passed every exams, when i took arts when i'm already in science core.Remember what you said?.. arts is meaningless but now you pursue the same passion am i a joke o you? "
The girl hates her ability in arts and avoid to draw, she was losing her touch,
"i have no family,..my family don't need me.. they do not appreciate me.. i do tasks.. they asked for more..am I effortless? should I cry? no.. i'm big already.."
before she went to sleep she prayed that she will die, she won't kill herself maybe life's changing..
it's my fault, i should do more..i'm sorry..
