We are not friends nor acquaintances. We are barely strangers to each other.
He smiles back when I did.
I waved at him when I have the chance.
I like him and he said kinda like me too.
We took some baby steps and tried to get close to each other. I even made myself a clown just to get his attention and luckily it worked.
He caught my heart the moment he started to speak to me that day. That day when the raindrops were gently falling from the sky while the cold wind of September was touching my fair skin.
"Hey, Aria. Waiting for the bus?" he asked.
I ignored him and tried to act like I didn't hear him. But, I know in myself that I'm trying to watch his every move. I tried to cover my face with my golden hair and looked at him through the side of my eyes.
His black hair was being tousled by the wind. His dimples were showing on his chiseled face.
What a breathtaking sight.
I was engrossed with my thoughts when he sat beside me.
He leaned his face near to mine while we were sitting on the bench of the bus stop. He lightly caressed my hair and smiled. I didn't know what to react. I just found myself being stoned in place as he put his face closer to mine.
I'm running out of breath because of the tension that I'm feeling when suddenly I heard a growling sound from his tummy. He immediately moved back and created a space between us. I'm sure that he was embarrassed because there was a red tint on his face. I couldn't help myself but laugh the moment he scratched the back of his head.
But my laugh didn't last long because I heard him speak. Luca's gentle voice enveloped my ears.
"You are prettier when you are smiling." I immediately turned red and I didn't know what to react or what to say. I stood up and quickly ran in the streets without minding the rain. I ran as fast as I could.
Just as fast as how my heart beats.
From that day, we started to see each other very often. We usually bumped to each other at the library. We even sat at the class together. But we haven't tried to talk to each other. We were just talking with our eyes. His brown orbs were looking at my blue ones. While looking at him I noticed something. There was something on his eyes that I couldn't decipher. Something that makes me feel the butterflies in my stomach.
Does he like me too?
No, Aria. Never assume. Never make yourself an idiot.
I was already stopping myself from falling to him when Luca said that he will tell me something. He asked me to come with him and watch a movie at Sunday 3pm.
A week before the out Sunday meeting, I started to prepare myself and shop an outfit. I also went to a recommended salon and had my hair colored. I was so very excited. Very excited, that I didn't see that there was a possibility that it won't happen.
I thought everything was fine. But things are not meant to be when fate is the one that is stopping you.
Luca texted me.
Luca: Let's meet at the bus stop. Okay?
I immediately replied back and told him yes. I was already wearing my yellow dress when suddenly I felt a weird sensation all over my body. Falling on my back, my hands and legs started to twitch. I found myself crying not because of pain but disappointment. I saw my mom in my peripheral vision. She panicky called an ambulance while trying to calm my seizure attack. I'm scared.
I'm not afraid of I'm feeling right now. I'm afraid of the consequence of this event.
Slowly, my eyes went close.
Everything was so surreal to me when I woke up. I am not sure of what happened. I'm in confusion yet I instinctly fetched my phone over the white table.
There are a lot of messages from Luca. I received a dozen of messages from him. Out of all the messages something caught my attention. It was the very last one.
It was him thanking me.
What does he mean by saying thank you?
Monday. I immediately ran to my first class and found Luca sitting to our usual spot. He smiled at me and asked me to come and sit with him. He gave me a box of chocolates without even telling a word.
I sat beside him and looked at his direction and spoke using all the courage I have.
"I'm so sorry. There was an emergency on my part."
He chuckled and talked. "No, don't say sorry. It's all fine."
I stared at the white board after he speak. Feeling his gentle hands as he patted me on my head.
Everything was going fine between us. We were eating lunch together. We were watching movies at weekends. We were also hanging out to his parents' house. But, I guess I'm wrong. I just thought that we 'were fine' when in reality we were not.
Especially when she came.
The girl who replaced me that Sunday.
Slowly, Luca's attention on me faded with the time. His eyes weren't looking at me like the way he looked at me before. It was all different. His laughs wasn't because of my jokes anymore.
It was all for her.
That girl.
I was in the rooftop when I heard Luca called me. I ignored him. I didn't look at him because I'm afraid to see his eyes. I'm afraid that his eyes will tell me the truth, that it's not me anymore.
Without looking I tried to take all my courage and started to speak. "Luca, what do you want to tell me the last time?" I asked.
"Hmm, did I tell you that I have something to say?" he asked like he forgot about it already.
"You did." I replied
He coughed trying to remember if he really said something the last time we talked. I stared at him while trying to stop the unwanted emotions that I'm feeling. I faked a smile and scratched the back of my head.
"Yeah, I remembered." He awkwardly laughed the moment he realized what happened the last time.
"I was just trying to ask if we can be together." he said.
"What?" I replied trying to comprehend what he just said.
"Hmm, I actually want to tell you that..." he was about to tell me something when that girl interrupted us.
"Luca, didn't know you're here. Come on, let's do our group project!" Yvette said.
Luca held on my hands like trying to ask for help. But, I just ignored him because I thought it was just a project and Luca needs to pass. Without second thoughts I pushed him to Yvette and let his hands go without knowing that it would be our last time holding hands.
If I just knew that it was the last time I would have hold him longer and tighter. I would have not push him if I just knew that he won't come back anymore.
We were almost there. Almost. But almost will never be enough.
I smiled while looking at him and Yvette who's standing on the place I thought I was supposed to be. They were grinning at each other looking so inlove.
"You may now kiss the bride." with that he kissed her lovingly.
I slowly walked out and smiled at the view of them.
Best wishes.
