Landon hadn’t answered my last few texts that day, and I had to go to work carrying the we.ight of my worry on my shoulders.
I will never forget that night. Danc.ing and trying to put on a happy face is not easy when you’re consumed with wo.rry. At the same time, the fe.ar per.m.eating me had forced me to connect even more deeply than usual to the music. All I could allow myself to focus on was the rhy.thm. If I started to rumi.nate and overthink things, I wouldn’t have been able to get through the routines.
By the time I got home, I knew it was going to be a sleepless night if Landon didn’t call me back.
Finally, shortly after midnight, my phone chimed. I jumped up to read it.
Landon: I’m sorry, ba.by. My phone wasn’t receiving texts.
Typing faster than I could think, I wrote back.
Rana: You had me worried. It’s not like you not to respond. I thought maybe you got hurt again or something.
Landon: I didn’t see your message until now.
Rana: Your phone is broken?
Landon: Fu.ck…I don’t know how to lie to you.
Rana: What? Why do you have to lie to me?
Landon: Because if I tell the truth, I’d have to admit that my phone wasn’t working because I was on a plane. And if I admit that I was on a plane then I have to admit that I caved and did something I promised you I would never do, which is to show up unanno.unced at your door.
My heartbeat accelerated, and the butterflies in my stomach came alive all at once as I flew out of bed and raced to my door.
Landon’s backpack drop.ped to the ground before he took me in his arms. It always surprised me how easily I could c.ry when it came to him. I almost never cri.ed about anything before the past several months. But being in his arms again now, knowing that he’d come all this way, definitely brought out the waterworks.
He spoke into my neck, “I had to see you.”
Wrap.ping my arms around him, I treasured the warmth of his body and the sandalwood scent of his colog.ne.
He’s really here.
“I was so worried.”
I ra.ke.d my fingers along the back of his head before sli.d.ing my hands down his back. I’d forgotten how amazing the contours of his musc.ular bo.dy felt. Maybe touc.hing him felt even more amazing this time because there was no part of me holding back anymore, and I was now truly allowing every sens.ation in that touching him ign.ited. I could also feel a difference in him, in the way he was holding me. The resistance that existed back in California was no longer. He was allowing himself to fully surr.ender to the phy.sical attrac.tion between us.
The second he pulled back from our emb.race, he wasted no time lowe.ring his li.ps to mine, his ton.gue sliding into my mo.uth with a desp.erate need to tas.te. The familiar, sugary flavor of his bre.ath became the only oxygen I needed. I was completely addi.cted to it.
His hands were all over me as the kis.sing inte.nsified. He squeezed my as.s, and I could feel my arou.sal pooling between my legs as my body readied for what it knew damn well was coming.
“Take me to your room,” he gro.wled against my li.ps, pressing his body farther into me.
This was really happening.
My heart hammered against his as we stu.mbled toward my bedroom.
We barely came up for breath, stopping only so that Landon could rip the T-s.hirt off of me. With just my un.der.we.ar on, I was practically na.ke.d as he fist.ed my ha.ir then wou.nd it through his fingers.
“I love this fu.cki.ng ha.ir,” he said as he tug.ged on it to bend my head back so that he could dev.our my ne.ck. He wove his fin.gers de.eper into my long tre.sses as the su.c.ki.ng inte.nsi.fied.
He then lo.wered his he.ad down to my br.ea.sts and took my ni.p.ple between his tee.th before cla.mping do.wn on it. He smiled over my sk.in as I flin.ched from the plea.sur.able pa.in. His ro.ugh hand pal.med the opposite bre.ast, squeezing my te.nder sk.in.
I lo.ved that he wasn’t going easy on me, that he knew I could ha.ndle this. Then again, I really couldn’t picture being with him in any other way. He was a se.xu.al for.ce to be reck.oned with.
My c.li.t was swo.llen from his te.a.si.ng my bre.as.ts. My pa.nti.es were so.ake.d. Feeling desp.erate, I gra.bbed his ch.in, leading his mo.uth bac.k up towa.rd mi.ne so that I could tas.te him again. Taking his ton.gue ring between my tee.th, I gently pu.ll.ed on it. He moa.ned into my m.o.uth and kis.sed me even ha.rder, this time pres.sing his ere.ctio.n into me as he whi.spered into my mou.th, “Feel that.”
Nothing was left to the imag.ination now. He was mas.sive. I could feel his co.ck h.ot and th.rob.bing against me, and it seemed to take up a good por.tion of his u.pper thi.g.h. Just the thou.ght of what it wo.uld feel like ins.ide of me made me wett.er.
I braz.enly pres.sed my c.li.t up aga.inst his jea.ns and rub.bed my.self over his co.ck. He wra.pped both of his hands fir.mly aro.und my as.s and gui.ded me as I con.tinued to gri.nd over him thro.ugh our clot.hes.
“I can feel how w.et you are through my pa.nts. Holy s.hi.t.” He let out a sh.aky bre.ath into my mou.th. “You feel so fu.ck.ing go.od but keep that up, and you’re about to get fu.ck.ed in two seco.nds.”
“That’s what I want.”
When I looked up at him and smiled, I could see the vis.c.eral ne.e.d in his glas.sy eyes. They were filled with lu.st and prac.tically fu.cki ng me all their o.wn.
Landon pulled at the side of my und.er.w.ear then sli.pp.ed two of his fin.gers unde.rne.ath the ela.stic. I pul sat.ed arou.nd him as he slowly san.k them ins.ide of me. He closed his eyes in ecs.tas.y as he felt my wet heat for the first time. This made me rea.lize more than ever how ba.dly I needed mo.re. Tight.ening my muscles, I squ.ee.zed aga.inst his fing.ers as he mo.an.ed in response.
He sud d.enly pulled his fin.gers out of me before kne.e.ling do.wn. He sl.id my p.an.ti.es do.wn before tos.sin.g them aside but stayed on his kne.es as he bu.rie.d his fa.ce betw.een my le.gs. His fin.gers du.g into my as.s che.eks as he unap.ologet.ically wor.ked his ton.gue arou.nd my pu.ss.y, the cool.ness of his m.etal ton.gue rin.g enhan.cing the aro.usal. Bend.ing my hea.d back, I rea.lized that I could’ve easily come.
His muf.fled sou.nds vibra.ted thro.ugh my co.re as he us.ed his ent.ire face to en.su.re that my ten.der cl.i.t expe.rienced unp.rec.ede.nted. ple.asu.re. At one point, he stop ped and loo.ked up at me bef.ore sl.owly sta.nding up and unbu.ck.ling his pa.nts. He whip.ped his b.elt ac.ross the ro.om then low.ered his zi.p.pe.r.
Pa.n.ti.ng, I wa.tch.ed as his je.ans fell to the ground before he ki ck.ed the.m as.ide. When he slip.ped his sh.irt of.f, I ma.rveled at the sight of his ro.ck-ha.rd, tatt.oo.ed che.st, getting an up close and pers.onal look at it like never before. His b.ody was like a chi.sel.ed can.vas of fine art, a pu.re de.light for my eyes. I wanted to li.ck a line do.wn the hap.py trail of ha.ir dividing his lo.wer a.b mus.cle.
He was standing before me in nothing but his black box.er brie.fs. The material did nothing to ma.sk the out.line of his pa.ckage. The ti.p of his co.ck was stic.king out at the to.p, and I could see his shi.ny pier.cing for the first time in the fle.sh.
I lick.ed my li.p.s in antici.pation as he placed his hands on his wais.tba.nd and slowly lowered his bri.efs, cau.sing his co.ck to spring forward in all of its glo.ry. That sight brought me to my kne.es bo.th lit era.lly and figur.atively.
Unable to res.ist, I wra.pped my hand around his ho.t fle.sh, relis.hing the sil.ky fe.el of hi.s sha.ft. Yea.rning to li.ck the sm.all be.ad of pre.cu.m surro.unding the pie.rcing, I swi.rled my ton.gue around his thi.ck cro.wn as if it was slo.wly danc.ing around the co.ck ri.ng. He tas.ted deli.cio.us. I couldn’t say that anything had ever given me more ple.as.ure than this. Unable to stop, I began to take him de.eper as he gat.hered my h.air in his hand so that he could watch his co.ck moving in and out of my mo.uth.
He be.nt his he.ad back. “Fu.ck. Don’t try to tell me you don’t know what you’re doing. This feels incr.ed ible.”
With his co.ck still fill.ing my mo.uth, I sm.iled up at him. His eye.lids tigh.tened as he reluc.tantly pulled him.self away.
He helped me up then said, “I can’t wait another second. I’m going to fu.ck you so good, Rana.” Pres.sing his glori.ously ha.rd bo.dy against my bre.as.ts, he leaned his wei.ght into me un.til I fe.ll back onto the be.d. This was one moment I was grat.eful to live alone, because I knew this was going to be lo.ud.
Nu.dg.ing my le.gs op.en, he lo.oked at me inte.ntly in a sil.ent war.ning bef.ore he ente.red me in on.e ha.rd thr.ust that made me ga.sp.
The be.d sho.ok, and my hea.dbo.ard ban.ged aga.inst the w all as he fu.c.ked me rele.ntle.ssly. When you wai.ted as long as we did, there was no ea.sing into things. The fric.tion alone from his th.ick sha.ft movi.ng in and o.ut of me was like nothing I’d ever felt. Landon fu.c.ked like a ch.amp—totally focused and with his entire bo.dy.
The s.ex I’d had in my te.ens was just about a means. to an end with no regard for my ple.asu.re. For Landon, s.ex wasn’t about just stic.king his di.ck insi.de of me and moving it in and out. We were connected in every way possible. His hands were loc.king mi.ne in place to help me ho.ld on for the ri.de. His ton.gue was tast.ing me with the same syn.chr.oni.city as the move.ments of his body. Occasionally, he’d br.eak away to gen.tly bi.te me, which always felt like he was stak.ing his cla.im in some way. And his co.ck pene.trated me so dee.ply that I knew I would be s.or.e tomorrow.
I couldn’t wait for him to co.me, to feel that expl.osion of his des.ire inside of me.
“You thought you’d be too w.et for me, huh? I love your come all over my d.ic.k, ba.by. Feels better than anything.”
My to.es were cu.rling from the inte.nsity of his thru.sts. I loved the feel and sound of his ba.lls slap.ping against my as.s.
This was what it was like to be tru.ly f.uc.ked.
His hi.ps moved in a circ.ular mot.ion as he slowed himself down. “I have to slow down, or I’ll exp.lode.”
“I’m ready,” I whispered.
He challenged m.e. “Yeah?”
I gripped his as.s. “Yeah.”
He began to po.und into me ev.en har.der than before as he sh.ot his lo.ad. As soon as I felt the war.mth of his cu.m, my mu.scles ten.sed arou.nd him in cli.max. And then I finally understood what he meant when he explained what it feels like when he com.es, that his mind goes blank. That was exactly what happened to me. All of the wo.rries in the world just disap.peared into him for a moment.
He stayed over me, his d.ic.k rem.aining ha.rd and ho.t inside of me. Our fore.heads were touc.hing, and our breat.hing was still heavy. I didn’t know how I had lived so long without experiencing this.
I tried to thwa.rt my mind’s atte.mpts to think about the wom.en he’d been with. Now that I’d experienced being with him, I was even more jealo.us of anyone who had come before me and hoped that none had experienced exactly what I just did. Because it felt like so much more than s.ex.
