No i can't i would tell my self but couldn't stop yet. Yes, their would have never been a promise if it was not for the propose of it to not be broken. And i broke that several times. Once, twice, thrice.... several times.
"I promise I won't." This words were hard to say at first, fear of it to get broken was hard to take. But now its like a word that is said on the purpose to carry meaning and place but used as a median to just be broken... yet again ... and again.
People comes, stays and leaves with out any words said. But my heart says it all of mine, fear, anxiety, lost, tears, and broken. Sometimes i think do i really deserve this and i do i agree bit do i deserve it every time? Am i never to get loved am i never to get one to get treasured?
The fours walls of this place traps me with nothing other than my heart, mind, body and my soul. My heart beats louder as i think more deeper, my body reacts as it trembles as i get deeper, and my soul it cries out for freedom. Freedom from this life where all i could do was deserve a bit and lose a bit but all i did was deserved all and loosed all. Deserved all one by one and deserved loosing it one by one.
My body trembles as the sharp edges touches my neck. My souls cries out in happiness but my heart cries out in griefness. My minds all damaged one with the freedom that i want and one.....
*giggles* Sister!
The laughter, The only laughter that has a part in my life. The laugh that has kept me alive till now. The laughter that has saved me from my misery. But how long can it last.
