I never thought I would feel something missing in my life. I have always been a happy kid. I have an almost happy childhood but there were unhappy ones.
When I was in kindergarten,I was disturbed by two girls.Luckily,I don’t remember all of it but there were parts of it that I still remember vividly.I recall that they not allow me to sit at their table.They would constantly scold me and I would I started feeling insecure.
Even though these events happened,I still had parents who supported me.Nevertheless after that kindergarten school year,I was in a different class from those two girls.
The last year of kindergarten was amazing.I made friends with people of different walks of life.I even made friends with the most naughty male classmate in my class.At this point,my insecurities were almost all gone since I made friends with everyone in my class. I was so comfortable around them that I got close to two of them. For privacy reasons,I will call them Daniel and Kourin.
These two friends of mine were one of the most popular people in the class.I don’t remember how we met but I still have memories of playing with them and the number of times we were having a competition with one another for the highest score in the spelling test.(both in Chinese and English might I add)
However,the unfortunate thing was,after that school year,we had to say goodbye from kindergarten and had to go to primary school.Since then,I have lost contact with Daniel and Kourin.
When I was in primary school, one of the two girls in my kindergarten went to the same school as me.She was in the same class as me! Could you believe that even after the tough times I had to communicate with my classmates,that she would appear in my class again? I could not believe my eyes.I thought I went blind but I wasn’t.
I thought she would disturb me again but luckily she did not.In kindergarten,the other girl was the boss and she was just like a follower so I think that is the reason why she stopped. She was in my class for 6 years and my primary school went by very smoothly and I made many friends that I am still in contact with today.
However,I do have a male close friend that I would love to contact for the longest time.Again for privacy reasons,I will call him,Joe. Joe and I were very good friends.Even though we were not in same class for two years, we still had a strong friendship.He was also my classmate in kindergarten which made us even closer.Our friendship was around 8-10 years.How would you forget someone so fast? Of course I did not forget him. I remember we also went to the same club in primary school,The Art Club.
I really want to contact him so bad.He was so nice to me.Too nice to the point where my classmates started shipping me and him together. I miss those moments.
After 6 years in primary school,I went to secondary school.Again,lost contact with some of them.
In secondary school,my friends who went to the same school as me,all were not in the same class as me. I was so frustrated in my first year that I wanted to slap myself now.My confidence levels started depleting.There was this pain in my heart that I could not get rid of.I had no friends for 3 months and I was scared that I would not even have friends at all.
The second year was the best of all of my life.I made friends with almost all the girls in my class and my confidence levels started rising again. I also started making friends with people in my club. It started out cold but now I have many friends in my club. However, at the end of year, I was hit by a friendship attack from a close friend in my class.It all started with a school project and it killed our friendship because of how she controlled everything and I could not even decide on anything I want to do.
Third year,almost senior to the lower secondary students,again I was put into a new class and I did not make many friends in that year and it was a horrible year.At the end of the year,I was hit by terrible news.
“Please be ready for the worse”,the doctor told my mother calmly.My grandmother, who was in my life for almost 15 years,passed away from internal brain bleeding.She was in deep coma for around a day before leaving our side.I was so sad,the pain in my heart was as if there were knifes stabbing it a thousand times.
It has been one year since that traumatic day and I still have scars from that experience.I know everyone will experience this soon or later but it was too painful to think about it.This scar stayed on me for more than 4 months.It was the biggest scar to heal.
This year,I am actually more confident than never before.I was able to make friends with everyone and even strangers. I have a national exam this year so I don’t get why I am typing this but it has on been half an hour since I started typing.
My wish this year is to get good grades and move on to tertiary education with no problem at all.
