Dear sadness,
I don’t know when did you started to hit me. All I know is something changed in me the moment you came. You’re something which I’m not familiar with, to the point that I can’t even describe you. I feel so useless, pathetic, weak, empty and unwanted because of you. You make me feel so different.
You always kicking me out of the blue, with or without reasons and I sometimes cry because of you without knowing why as well. You make me feel lazy doing everything. I even find it tiring to breathe, and to live in this world, because of you. Why are you doing this?
You make me pretend and lie to those people I love and cherish the most.
“Of course I’m fine.” LIE.
“I’m okay.” LIE.
“Don’t worry... If I have a problem, I’ll tell it to you right away.” LIE!
I am aware that pretending and lying won’t help me... But I don’t want to bother anyone and be a burden to them. Even if I know that they can help me to get you out of my system... I still can’t risk them.
You taught me to act as If I’m okay with the help of my pretty little lies, fake smiles and fake laughs and I despise you for that. But... Let me ask you... Am I the one who open the door to let you in? Or is it you who barged in my system just because you want to ruin me?
But please, do me a favor... Just hit me and don’t hit anybody else, specially those people that I love the most.
Because I can bear the pain... But I can’t bear seeing them hurt and in pain, just because of you.
Yes, you may be the winner in our own battle right now, but I’ll defeat you someday. Know that the weak can be strong and the strong can be weak.
Yes, you maybe the strongest between us right now, but I’ll turn that damn table soon. Just wait.
