From the start I have always been a stubborn kid selfish I always got the spot light no dought I was the youngest daughter in the family everyone loves me so I was a bossy little girl what I demanded I jave always got that till my grandfather was alive....he passed away in 2015 I was 9 from that that day I wasn't that special he was the one who loves me the most....
we don't live in our hometown so when I came to my actual school life I wasn't the same everything had been changed then after 2 years I saw a boy in my school he was my senior I actually used to like him I lot then after a time I fell for him but he didn't knew any of this after a year we went on a school trip...
to my surprise he was also there I was kinda happy.....
I am pretty good with my seniors so I have a really close friend I got to know later that he is in her class so I asked things bout him...
she told me many things, then she also told me that she also had a crush on him..next day I don't know what happened suddenly but we started talking like in groups at the supper time and after 4 days we came back from that exhibition we won so we went on an another exibition there we became kinda friends and after that exhibition we started talking on social media one day my friend somya told me that she told him that I have a crush on him I don't know why but I was so scared same night he asked me do I have a crush on someone and then I just told him a random name he didn't said anything after a month or two I told him that I lied It was you that I have a crush on....
he said I like you as a friend
I have no issue I never wanted to be his girlfriend I just wanted him to be happy and to be my friend after some months he told me that he has a crush on somya that same girl I don't know I felt a bit sad but I didn't mind I helped him then I told him she felt the same thing for you at that time we three started doing video call it was fun one day they both told me on a video call that he proposed her and she said yes I was the first one to know I just cut the call and then called them again to congratulate them...
there were fights between them but I was always there to make them work out again I want him to be happy but in this lockdown 2020 they broke up over a misunderstanding and a joke I tried my best to help them but it didn't work out...
I was never the one who tried to break them apart
somya personally never had a issue with me never did he had any but I don't know after there breakup he never talked to me I still want him to be happy and safe somya and I discussed this many times but I don't know what happened one day a boy from there class told me that he told him that I spread some weird rumours bout him and somya I was so pissed at him but then I realised is our bond was this weak I didn't believed it so I texted him do you think I irritate you or do you hate me he replied I don't know may be I do....
I was so sad that he is treating me like a stranger for the thing I had never done.....
he is still my first priority I still love him the most he was my first love and my last I don't think I could ever feel this for someone else it's the gonna be 2 years that he hasn't talked to me but that thing we had for a year was really precious.....
he wished me on my birthday I was so happy that he did his one word makes me so Happy that I can't express....
I never tried to pursue him I never chased after him everyone asks me why didn't you tried why did you let it go easily why didn't you said you didn't my answer was always the same if you love something you should let go of that if it's in your faith it'll be yours someday I love him so much that for his happiness I never try to make him break up with my friend I could have done that and I would have succeeded but for me his happiness always been the first priority for me ....
I don't know have I done it wrong or would I have told him that I really loves him or should I have chased after him I don't know where I was wrong
I still want his friendship nothing else
I don't want him to hate me
not to misunderstood me
why do I love a guy who don't care bout me
who won't even care if I die some day
I just want him to know that it's been 4 years I still love him and I'll always do I never stopped loving you after all you have done to me after all you have said to me It doesn't even matter to me I just want you to say that you don't hate me and i am still your friend..
I know he's not gonna read this but want to know that he has always been my first priority and he always will be, I love you...
is this happend because I have always been loved and didn't deserve to be loved anymore....
based on a true story of mine if you care
it's not that I want to show off
it's just that I don't want to keep things inside me maybe he'll know someday may be he'll read this someday....
I don't know I don't care
I am happy if he is...
