So yeah this no story. I just got really really emotional while reading something and I thought I should just write something. About my father. And on how I feel about him.
see I've been telling myself that I hate him, but it turns out that I don't. No matter what he does, some part of me, still aches for him, for his affection I haven't gotten for so long.
I know I'm not supposed to love him. I don't think I do. I just love the memories of him. Memories of the good times I had with him. And I miss those days. Every time I see someone talking about their fathers I feel like, I got hit in the spleen with a baseball bat. (which I recently found out to be painful as hell)
So I've been moping around and telling everyone of his bad aspects. But I never told anyone how good he used to be before all this..
He used to love me. He used to bring me gifts every single time he came home from work. He'd take me to the beach and let me walk in the waves holding on to his hands. He had taught me to swim and that was a wonderful experience. He'd make variety dishes (all non vegetarian) and make me eat it, to faten me up(Im just really thin,so almost everyone I met ask me to eat more, it's always been that way) .He had a great sense of fashion and he knew my size perfectly. Like he'd just pick shoes and bring them home and it'll fit me well even when I had grown since he had seen me.
I knew that he loved me.
Until it stopped slowly. I was 8then I think . I didn't know that He was busy flirting with ladies and all,when he had no time for me . He tried to make my mom seems like a lunatic when she found out .
And he had audacity to think that I'll support him. Like hell I would. He had lied to me. What does he take me for? A moron? I will never forget what he did but I'm willing to forgive if he's willing to change and if my mother accept him. But obviously he's not willing to, it means good bye
