I was just an ordinary high school student back then. When I first saw you, I knew it that you are the one for me. That was the day I started to notice you and look at you from a far. You were one year ahead of me. I always believed that you were the perfect guy I've ever known. You're talented and smart. I fell deeper than I expected.
Then each time we had an activity at school, you started to notice me too. You joke around when we're having a rest at the school ground. We're both in a same band. You wanna know why, I joined because of you. I admire you a lot. I practice so hard, so that I can see you everyday. Then we started to interact with each other, that was the happiest moment of my life. As time passes by we became closer and became best friends. Then I learned that you have a girlfriend. She's your classmate. But then, I supported you with her.
I couldn't handle it at times, my feelings started to grow more. I eventually showed it without me knowing it and I never know that your girlfriend would notice. She started to pick a fight with me. But I never said anything and endure every dirty words she said to me. I was nobody, I have no rights at all. I'm just a best friend. It was never my intention to ruin your relationship. I felt sorry everyday.
I heard also that you started fighting with her. I even got a news that her sister slapped you. I cried a lot, because of guilt. That should be me. I think I deserve that, not you. But someone told me you already know about my feelings for you. So, I started to act differently. Our friendship slowly became awkward. Then, you approached me first. I felt happy, I wanna cry at the thought. And I can't believe that you said you love me too.
You courted me and you became my boyfriend. But it was just a secret between us. I don't know how we ended up like that. But I am so happy, that it didn't bother me at all because I love you with all my heart. You are my first love.
Even though we're in a relationship, I heard a gossip about you. That my brother's classmate is you girlfriend. I never believed them until I saw you with her. You participated in an event with her. You're the escort and she's your muse. You look good together. I felt small, why didn't you tell me? it hurts me to the bones. I cried a lot that day. But you texted me you love me. And I still believe you. So we continue what we have. I accepted it, I am just your secret.
One day, you told me that you're leaving. I was deeply affected by that. So, I decided to leave you first and transferred school in the city. But I was hurt because my friend said you stayed. I know I'm such a fool for loving you so much.
Seven years later, we saw each other again and dated again, but in secret. I love you so much that I'm still okay with the idea. I got to your place to spend the night kissing and cuddling you. We never make love because I'm not ready. To sleep by your side is enough for me. But I think, me, is not enough to someone like you. I will never know what you like. I still think that maybe you loved me once in your life when had me. I still hope you do.
Admit it or not, the thing I did for you is tiring. I did everything to keep you but you always slipping away from me. I get it. I'm not the one you want, need, and love. You can live without me. So, I cut all the ties we have for the sake of my sanity. I love you still. But I deserve better than this. I hope you have a happy life. I always want the best for you. Time to part ways with you. It hurts a lot. Thank you, my best friend. You're still my best friend no matter what happened to us, I know you cared for me.
