"BASED ON REAL LIFE "
Crying for no reason
everyday crying for no reason, feeling alone , exhausted, anxious , irritated ,lonely , angry on over a little to little thinks without reason
is called depression .
so yes I am depression
why cause my life has no meaning .my mom most of the time is busy with family responsibility my 2nd sis was the one who only care for me and loves me and she also got married when I was 3 years old as for 3rd sister she is always busy with her own life withs friends make ups and shopping she never have time for me and I was alone form childhood no more care for me I always Cry and cruse myself why I. even exist in the world after I go to school I feel a lot better I have friends and the teachers was like my own parents they were most best I was in that school from 5-12 years but when I am 13 my 3rd sis also got married and we change home I really cryed so much to leave my friends it was so sad I feel the most hardest moment of my life was the time when I changed my home after coming to new place I say myself "welcome to once agina In the world of aloneness " even cause of coronavirus my new school doesn't do our classes properly and we are just 3 students in my new school classes one boy and one girl along girl with me but I didn't meet with them till now it's been 5 months of my new school.
and.for.now presently
ALONE , ALONE AND ALONE
was the one who am I why I don't know !!
but also for my dad whenever I go to him for spending time he says "Bad" I said "what" he said "my mood is bad" I just saw him laughing and talking with mom and the moment I come to talk him he says , his mood is bad then I said "after I come and your mood turns to bad right ??" "ok I don't need anyone" that day night in mind just one word was irritating me bad ,bad,bad,bad,my mood is bad ,my mood is bad .
from the next I stop irritate mom ,dad and stay alone in dark room and cry silently
after a week my tap was broken mom saidy big sister to give a phone to spend time she give after got phone I think I can now not cry but still the phone can't help all the time
then I start writing novels , I guess you guys are reading and thanks for the this much love but still I am so alone , but still sometimes alone doesn't only means who are orphan or don't have friends , it also can means who don't have parents support and always listen from parents you are just a burden ,it has been the 13 years of my life still I didn't learn to love yourself , " yes I didn't learn yet love myself" now my life goal is study and become something that I can stand on my own feet , but still my crying is becoming more and more hard day by day i don't know what do I do I just want someone who cares me and loves my no one was there I wish i never born really I really wish it cause it only gives you pain my mom pray to Allah fro every sister but she says she never prays for me the moment I got really in my head everyday night I just got Trauma so I lock my room as no mine can hear my scream if I shout now my life has begain to meaningless now I don't have any hope just die
now I just waiting fro the mr.right who can change my life and can bring color into my black and white life 🙂🙂 my name NAFISA TABASSUM
mean "holy smile " can I be happy and smile like my name meaning in future ????
