My Brother

There are incidents that happened before my birth and they are heart breaking.

My mother looked at the pregnancy test shocked. She had been finally blessed with a child.

My parents had arranged marriage. They were complete strangers who were made to live life together. The only thing that could keep them together was a child.

Since my Dad was a smoker, his sperms were a little weak, so they were having hard conceiving but they visited some doctors, who gave father some pills.

They have been trying for over 3 months now and finally when my mom missed period for a month, they thought to check it out. Fingers Crossed.

"Finally!" my father said with tears in his eyes as he looked at the report at the doctor's chamber.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Sarkar! You can finally be parents" the doctor said in a happy tone.

My parents were utterly grateful to the doctor. They came back home and delivered the news worldwide, like literally world wide. My whole father's family was informed, even distant relatives were called up. My mom did no less. Everyone was so happy to hear the news.

Sweets were bought home and my mom was fed so much sweet that she almost puked. Overexcitment I tell you.

My father went an extra step. My mom was literally banned from doing any household chores. He scolded her of she ever tried to lift even a feather.

Maids were hired, my grand mother came to our house to look after my mom and help her with everything. Every day, someone or the other would come visit her. She was forbidden to touch anyone's feet so as to not bend.

This was when she was a month pregnant. News flew even to my Father's office or should I say that he made sure everyone knew he was gonna be a Dad!

"Congratulations Srikanta!" my father's colleagues Congratulated him.

Sweets were yet again distributed all over the office and even to distant relatives. It was a moment of Joy and they were living it.

My uncles did a great job too! They made sure my mom was eating twice or should I say thrice she would actually eat. Every day, twice milk was served. One of my uncle started stiching Cloth diapers and dresses.

This was when she was just a Month pregnant, just a month!!!!

Gifts started to pour in our house. Everyone would be all jolly jolly all day. My mom would talk and sing as if the baby could hear her. My dad did no less. He would do the same.

Everyday after coming home from work, he would sit down near my mom's belly (it was flat at that time) and sweet talk.

...

As the belly grew, the excitement of Sarkar family grew.

My mom was now 4 months in. A considerate amount of belly was protruding out of her. Her breast had also become quite fuller. Everyone could she her belly now and with every glance at my mom's belly, people would start gleaming.

My day would sat in front of the belly for hours, admiring it as if the belly was the child itself. (My god! Do I tell you these people are so cheesy and dramatic).But maybe it was because it is their first baby?!

Well, my parents decided to do the baby shower early. As early as the end of four month.

Guests were invited from all over. Everyone they knew were actually invited. So much do that there were 500 people in her baby shower. (God damn!)

My mom was wearing a beautiful red saree. She was covered from head to toe with Gold Jewellery. She was made to wear a mang tikka (a head jewellery), necklaces, earrings, nose earrings, bangles, rings, a waist jewelry,anklet and toe rings.( Nothing special for an Indian Ceremony).

She had put bright red Vermilion all across her hair line. Alta (a traditional red dye worn by Indian women) was smeared bordering her foot and in the centre of her feet and Mehendi was applied on her hands.

She looked stunning. I think she had that pregnancy glow, that people say. She looked beautiful. Though her belly was very big, it was big enough to make her look sweet.

Mom was smilling ear to ear to everyone. She wasn't even close to this happy even on her wedding day. But she was happy. Happy for her baby. She would greet everyone with a Namaste but dare did she even bend a little bit.

4 people were with her. Constantly checking on her. She was showered with more Jewellery and Gifts. Everyone was so happy to see my parents Happy.

My dad sat down to do the yagya (rituals). He prayed to god for mom's and the child's safety. He showered flowers on her, kissing her forehead.

"We will become the best parents ever" he had promised her.

He sat in front of the fire for hours and did all the required rituals without complaining for even once. My mom was looking at my father, admiration and love filled in her eyes.

Finally the rituals ever over and it was time for my mom to eat.

Well...She was offered a humongous plate and lots of lots of dishes. There were rice, tortillas, 5 types of vegetables, 5 types of fries, 5 types of fish, a chicken dish and one mutton dish.

That's not all, there were 10 different types of sweet, along with 2 types of soup (chutney), misti dai (sweet curd), and icecream. All of these my mom had to eat. Alone!!

Did they think that just because my mom was pregnant, she could pass everything in her belly like Indian gate?! She is a human not a food storage machine. I know pregnant women should eat more but this much?! Thank god she didn't blasted!

Anyhow my mom ate a little of everything. Both my grandmothers presented my mom with more jewellery. The ceremony was filled with songs, dances and skits.

My father sang 3 songs for the baby and Mom. O god were they so happy!

The Ceremony had finally ended. My mom was so tired, she had fell asleep as soon as she laid down on the bed.

...

It was mid five months in. Every week they would go for check ups. The doctor was somewhat irritated at them, the doc said to visit the hospital once a month but ofcourse they have to overdo it!

"Your child is healthy Mr. and Mrs. Sarkar! Don't worry" the doctor had reassured them.

As usual that day, my dad was in the office while mom was in home. My grandma was there with her. She had just woken up from her afternoon nap, when she needed the urge to go to the washroom.

She went it but she saw that she had already peed...

Then realization hit her like a truck. It was not pee, it was her water. She felt dizzy at the sight. She was just five months pregnant, how come the water broke?! Her heart was beating frantically.

"Mom! Momm!!!!" she shouted from the bathroom. My grandma rushed to the bathroom and opened it to saw mom, tears streaming down her eyes nonstop.

"What happened???" she asked now early concerned a d scared.

"Water...the wa..water bro...broke!" she sobbed.

"What?" My grandma gasped, eyes widened.

"Nothing will happen daughter, I'll call Srikanta! Nothing will happen." she tried to assure mom, or was she assuring herself?

She rushed out of the bathroom and called dad.

"Hello!"

"Srikanta..." grandma cried.

"What happened mom? why are you crying?" dad asked panicking.

"The water...the water..."

"The water what??? Which water??"

"The water Broke" she spit it out and wailed.

Dad gasped!

"Wait, I'll call the hospital! I am coming mom, I am coming! Nothing will happen to the child! NOTHING!" he started sobbing.

He quickly called the hospital. The hospital sent the ambulance immediately. My father reached just in time. My mom was carried to the hospital. She was crying. Her eyes were puffy and red, so were my dad's.

"Nothing will happen, Nothing will happen" he kept repeating the same line all the way to the hospital.

As soon as they reached the hospital, medical helpers came in and carried my mom on stretcher. They took my mom to the operation theater, Dad wasn't allowed.

Soon my uncles came to the hospital along with my grandparents. They were waiting. They could hear mom's cries, they could hear her wailings.

My dad was so nervous. He could hear mom cry and scream but he couldn't do anything but sit and wait. He hated this situation.

After 3 hours the door finally opened, out came the doctor.

"What happened, Doctor? Is she alright? The baby?" my father asked the doctor. Everyone in the family crowding the doctor. The doctor said nothing.

"Sorry" he mouthed before leaving them. My father looked devastated. He could make anything out. What was the doctor sorry about? What has happened all of a sudden?

Tears streamed down his eyes. Soon the nurse came out with a premature baby wrapped in a white towel, face covered.

She handed the baby to my father. He looked at her eyes widened.

"It was a boy" she said.

My father broke down completely. He cried, he wailed, he shouted on top of his lungs, clutching the baby that was in his arms. His baby, his own flesh and blood, his own child laid dead in his arms and he could do nothing about it! Nothing.

Dad looked defeated. He looked like he would faint any moment. He wailed in top of his lungs.

"Why? Why? Why? What have I done? What did we do wrong? I did everything I could! Why God why? Why do I have to suffer this? Why?" he kept shouting these lines as he felt to the ground on his knees, hugging the baby and crying.

My uncle took the baby from his hand and raise him up. They all looked at him with tears flowing down.

"Go to her! She needs you" they directed him to my mom's wards, where she was shifted.

She had seen everything. She had tried her best but she couldn't save him. She couldn't save her child, her son, her precious baby.

Tears were flowing non stop. She looked into a trance as tears kept streaming automatically. She looked tired, defeated and in pain.

Dad went to her reluctantly. He sit down beside her, tears still flowing.

"I am sorry!" my mom finally could mutter.

"Don't say sorry! It was not in our hands! What could you have done? I am sorry " he said sobbing into her hands now.

"What did we do to deserve this?" she asked Dad.

"I don't..kn...know! I don't...know" he wailed even louder. Mom couldn't keep it she, she wailed to.

She was discharged after a day, Both my parents along with my whole family went to a temple to bury the baby down.

They had not named him anything as they didn't wanted to attach themselves anymore, that would bring more pain to them.

They had cried everyday from that day for month. They couldn't forget him. Their baby was dead. Their son was gone. They would never hear him, they would never see him, he would never call them Dad and Mom. They would never see him grow.

Thank you for reading this. Parts of this is true. I did has a brother who dies the same way but thankfully my parents got me.

They still don't talk about him, they try their hard to forget him but he had left a scar in their heart for forever. Sometime I wish he was alive, he would really make a great brother.

He would make the best brother any sister could ever ask for. I got to know about this when this one time I saw my father broke down after seeing my neighbor's son. He was also a premature baby but because technology was advanced, he survived while my brother didn't.

I am sorry, I cried while writing this. I wish he was alive.