Comfortable… maybe that's the only word that can describe my mood when I look at her graceful face. Because it's so hard to describe my feelings in words.
Dance… yes, let's call him Tari. A girl who is able to make me understand, "How beautiful God's creation is." Maybe too much, but this is how I feel.
During breaks or when there is no teacher, I spend more time just looking at his face. The dimple that adorns his left cheek adds to his charm. Plus his funny behavior makes me never bored to continue to pay attention to him.
The days went by, and the feeling just got bigger and bigger. A feeling I can't put into words. At first I only intended to keep this feeling, because I felt unworthy of him. He's too perfect for me. But I don't know where the wind came from that made me change direction. Change to from admiration to desire to possess. Yes, has his heart and love.
I started trying to approach him, even if only via SMS. I was too embarrassed to talk to him directly. As I thought, it's not easy to approach him. His attitude was so frozen when I first texted him. The SMS I sent was only answered with the words "Yes", "Ohh", "Not really". "Oh my God, is this your angel so ignorant?" I screamed inside.
Yes, it's called love. No matter how cool and cold he is to me, this intention of mine will not stop. Day after day I keep trying to approach him. Through attention and love poems that I created that I deliberately sent to him to give a signal that I love him. And I hope he has the same feelings for me. I don't understand myself, I who used to be rigid and could never be romantic towards girls has now changed. I was able to string words together to make a poem for him, even though it was still so simple.
Day by day passed, our relationship got closer and I started to get positive signals from my efforts so far. He was initially so indifferent now began to pay more attention to me. It started with a short message he sent to me one afternoon.
"Arief have you eaten?". I was quite surprised at the time.
Then I replied with, "Alhamdulillah already. Emmm, you really care about Arief?"
"Is it wrong?" The answer.
"No, even Arief is happy," I answered again.
Since then he's been showing more and more that he also has the same feelings towards me. And of course I also dared to pay attention to him, without telling him my true feelings. It occurred to me to want to have his heart, by shooting him.
"Hah? Shoot? Do you dare Rief? Can you Rief? And even if he was brave and could do it, would he accept you? Don't you realize that you are nothing compared to other boys who are also PDKT with him." I muttered in my heart.
But if you haven't tried it, how will you know the answer? "Once the sails rise and fall, we abstain." Since then I started to strategize how to shoot him. Starting from words, help properties and atmosphere. But always hit a dead end.
As usual, I texted him, an angel for Arief. After a few minutes of texting somehow possessed by a ghost from which I dared to send an SMS which for the first time clearly showed that I love him.
"Um, Tara. Actually Arief has a crush on a girl, and wants to express Arief's feelings to her. But Arief is afraid of being rejected.” Tell me via SMS.
"Who do you have a crush on? If you haven't tried it, how will you know." The answer.
"That's true, if you haven't tried it, you won't know." welcome me again.
"If Tari may know who is the girl Arief has a crush on?" he asked curiously.
"Emmm, I wonder if Tari finds out Arief is afraid, Tari is angry and doesn't believe it." I replied with a feeling of embarrassment mixed with fear if he knew the truth.
"Let me know. Tari promises to believe and not get angry, Rief". he persuaded.
I relented, “That girl…….Dance.”
"Really Rief?" he asked doubtfully.
"Yes, does Arief need to prove all this in front of his classmates?" I answered without hesitation.
"Hah? What are you replying to, Rief? Isn't that wrong? In front of your classmates? One by One, you don't necessarily dare." I asked myself, as if I couldn't believe the SMS I sent him.
At that moment I felt as if my blood was flowing faster, my heart was beating faster. Waiting for an answer from him.
"Actually, Tari also likes Arief". Answer him.
"Really?". My answer was short as if I couldn't believe what I was reading at that time. My heart is jumping for joy. But the jump of joy seemed like a terrible fall when I remembered my words that I was going to shoot him in front of my classmates.
"That's right, Rief. Dance wait, I promise." he said.
"How do you do that?" I asked myself thinking about how to shoot him.
The days keep changing. I'm starting to get the words I'm going to say the next time I shoot him and most importantly, courage. Just waiting for the right time and atmosphere.
October 18, 2012, at first it was normal for me. But after the break I got very good news, the teachers will have a meeting after the break. "Perfect time" I said to myself.
The classrooms are so crowded like a traditional market. Some are busy studying, some are busy chatting, some are busy singing, and some are even busy playing pranks on their other friends. But I was just sitting pretty in my chair, hesitating between “shoot” or “next time”.
I thought too. “If I had done it another time, would I have had a chance as good as this? All right, the time has come. It's Showtime”.
"Guys, can I have a little time please? Just a little bit." I started with confidence.
“I'm here to tell you that I owe someone a debt, not a debt of money or goods. But a debt of promise." I said with a little glance at Tari. And he doesn't seem to know I'm going to shoot him yet.
“My debt is a promise debt, a promise to someone that I will shoot him in front of all of you. And that person is Tari.” Some of my friends cheered, because some of them already knew how close Tari and I were. Unlike the others, Tari's beautiful face turned pale. Can't believe what I said.
I immediately approached him, knelt in front of him, and looked into his beautiful eyes. While saying…
“Tari, Arief has liked Tari for a long time. Arief loves Tari. Even though at first Tari was indifferent to Arief, but indifferent to this dance, Arief made even more efforts to show his affection. And now, Arief wants to ask Tari. Do you want to be Arief's girlfriend? So a companion for Arief's days? So fill the void in Arief's heart?"
A moment of silence…
"Yes, Tari will." The answer is short.
"Finally………….!!!!" I screamed in my heart
Not only that, then I said a sentence to him.
"Arief has 2 eyes that always want to see you, has 2 hands that always want to hold you, 1 brain that always thinks about you, and 1 LOVE that is now yours."
"Hehe, a little bit of a geek." I laugh in my heart.
We went through the following days with a different status, "Dating". How lucky I am to have you!. But as the saying goes, "There is no ivory that is not cracked", "There is no boil that is not swollen", and "There is no tuyul that is not bald". Our love story doesn't always run smoothly. We also had problems, but the power of love always brought us back together. I love him, so does he. I hope it wasn't a third person or some other problem that kept us apart. But only a situation where one of us can no longer breathe.
We always make every problem we face the best lesson for us. Lessons for mutual understanding, understanding, and care.
