The file dropped from my hand. Everything turns black. As if it's the end. Yes, it is. Everything is gone. It is over. Everything is over.
It's the full stop.
My head started spinning. I couldn't take it. My eyes felt worst. It feels like a volcano,just ready to burst. I know it has turn red. I close my eyes to stop the water from coming out. I don't feel my legs. I don't feel strong. I can't stand.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Ma'am, are you okay?"
It was blur. I slowly try to open my eyes. Slowly my vision was stable. I try to remember where I was. I get up from the bed and start walking.
"Maam, you need to rest. Where are you going?" "Rukiye!" (Wait!)
I hear the lady speak. I couldn't pay attention to her. I couldn't get over the fact... I am not gonna stay anymore. I need to go. I need to tell him before its late. I ignore the nurse and run out of the hospital.
*Beep beep*
Message on my phone.
Love❤ :- Hey, it's our engagement today. You ain't ready yet? You promised me to meet up and I would get to see you first.😕 Where are you?
Love❤ :- Busy getting dressed?
Me:- Come to my room in an hour.
Love❤:- So excited! Yess. Bye.. see you soon.
I don't know how to face him. So I ignored his message. I can't ruin his life.
Chahe kuch bhi hojaye muje jaana hi hoga, usse aur uske zindagi se dhur... Nahi tadpa sakti me usse. Uski yaad muje zaroor aayegi par usse yeh samajna padega ki joh me kar rahi hu sirf uske liye kar rahi hu.
(I have to go from his life whatever happens. I can't make him struggle for me. He should understand this that all I'm doing is just for his sake. I care for him and I'm never forget him.. Never ).
An hour later. My phone starts buzzing.
I didn't answer it. I wrote a letter to him and said to meet me near the lake, I would be waiting for him. And kept it on my desk under those file.
I manage to escape the house of decorations and the happy and smiling faces to people who don't know what's gonna happen next.
I reached the lake and was waiting for him. All the thoughts of him and us was breaking me so much but still I stood there strong. Later I sense someone behind.
"I love you," he says in a soft voice. I sense the pain and I know he cried. It makes me weak. I hold back my tears.
"I know. I love you too." I whispered
He stood beside me. I know he will not let me cry. He hugs me with his hands on my shoulders. No, I can't do this. I want him to move on. I want him to be happy forever
"Jaane de mujhe, let me go." I cried
"Don't go" He hugs me tight.
"Muje jaana hi padega.." (I have to go)
"I am with you, we can fight it." He sniffle.
I could have hidden it from him and just left him, it would be easy for him to move on but I couldn't. I am sorry. I know I am the worst. I am sorry. I love him. I did so bad to him.
"It's a brain clot. I'll die someday leaving you alone. And If I'll live I won't remember anything, anything about you or about us and it will kill me, I can't forget you. I can't."
I break down. Tears start rolling down my eyes. I can't stop it.
"I.. I think we'll then get to start our relationship all over again. I'll make you fall in love with me again. I'll treat you like a princess, but i'll never let you go because I just love you so much baby"
He bends down on his knees.
"Will you marry me?.."
"You not getting it. I.." I hesitate
"Shh...Whatever it takes. I will never leave you. I promise. It's ok if you forget me. We will create new memories. All fresh and new. What really matters is our love. Please marry me. If you aren't mine I won't be alive. Like a body with a dead soul. We will face this problem together it's not you love test. It's our love test. I do understand everything but I can't imagine my life without you and I know even you don't. You can lie to yourself but not me.
"Yeahh" We hugged and cried...to the fear of losing. Its true we can't live without each other. I love him so much
