if u have a narcissistic mother, u absolutely know it. it is one of the most painful experiences, especially to be the daughter of a narcissistic mother.
there were two different kinds of narcissistic mothers.
Engulfing Narcissist
and this is the mother who sees you, the daughter as an extension of themselves so any achievements that attain will automatically be theirs by default. which is pretty painful 😣
Ignoring Narcissist
they really have no interest in their daughters lives and take little care of them while they're growing up.
having a narcissistic mother , this type of insidious abuse bcz that's what exactly it is, it's so hard to put a finger on bcz it doesn't leave any scars. But it is of course. it leaves scars and u know this, if you're having this experience.
but Narcissistic mother's they still care what everyone thinks so they have this ability to still make the outside look really good. it's bizarre, the behavior is bizzare.
Some of behavior of the Narcissistic Mother's
A lot of mother's emotionally blackmail their kids to degree, right? so this isn't only narcissistic mothers, but definitely they do. So they display the guilt card with you so they don't want you to have an independent life of them and other forms like emotional blackmail that make you feel terrible. they want complete control over u over ur behavior. they'll also telling u all the things that they sort of gave up for you, all the things they did for u and now u owe them bcz of that.
And third indication is that they withdraw love if u don't do what they say and what they want u to do.
So we think usually mother's love 💕 is being pretty unconditional right 👀✌️
Basically a Narcissistic Mother their love is super conditional that the moment you're not doing what they want you to do, they will withdraw all love and support and instead they'll give you the silent treatment 🔕😶 or straight out punish you.
And this another thing that with mother's who are not narcissistic, you don't really have this, is that they're in competition with their daughters and it feels it and that's a really really hard one.
you know anything that you've done it's like ur mother has done better, has done more. if u have obtained something special, they've done something kind of special in your life. they've really want to take it away from you.
it could be a person or an achievement or even just an object. and if u accomplish anything, your mother jumps on it and makes it her own. It is your mother success and not really yours.
They'll say that you get your talent, she'll say you got that from her, whether it's being able to sing 🎤 or your athletic prowess, your writing ability, whatever it may be, but the center of attention will never really be YOURS. it just can't be yours they just don't tolerate it, you know 👀
and also a really one is that u were lied to constantly as a child. there was a lot of confusion about what was real and what was made up from your mother bcz she would use lying to control you even as a little kid. You were there for her entertainment, her pleasure, her goals to further her agenda, but it really wasn't about you. it is like the ultimate way of feeling USED. and then sadly they have no empathy.
Narcissistic mother's have No Empathy.
so to really have sit down and try to have a heart to heart 💞 with your narcissistic mother it's not going to happen, although a narcissistic mother is good at pretending but u know bcz ur the one having the conversations.
They pretend to other people that they have Empathy, but really a lot of narcissistic mother's are really sadistic and they will exploit anything you ever tell them. It will come back later to haunt you.
They will take something that is insensitive about you and publicly use it to embarrass you.
they're constantly triangulating in your relationships, Meaning they're making inappropriate relationships with the people who are related to you, being friends with your friends. to have a heart to heart conversation that is really filled with emotion, with a Narcissistic mother's is not happening. umm you were always insulted, very insulting berate your mother will berate you. and insult you in a constant basis, it's really a way to control and make u feel insecure, which is so counterintuitive bcz a healthy parents all they want for their children is to feel secure but that's not a narcissistic mother or narcissistic parents, that's not what's it's about for them they don't have the capacity to do it.
And Gaslighting where some is constantly denying your reality they're trying to tell your how you feel they tell you how it really was Not how you think it was.
it's so scary to be involved with someone who's doing this to you it's a way that make you question your sanity and with narcissistic mothers it's all about CONTROL and bringing the center of attention back to them.
and they blow every little bit of criticism out of proportion. u can't confront your narcissistic mother if she's narcissistic with the Truth with what you think is the truth bcz she actually she will do anything. They could be just become a raving lunatic around you, confronting them it's basically bcz they're trying to beat you back into submission, super thin skinned, The narcissistic mother. And so if u have any criticism they've respond completely over the top and ridiculous.
Daughters of Narcissistic mother's they've really taught you to distrust everyone, to be on guard, that nobody has your best interest at heart ❤️ except them.
Being the daughter of Narcissist , you must be in recovery from the abuse itself. and a lot who've had a narcissistic mothers spend a lot of time having the hope that the mother will change the hope that if they're good enough or if they do it right or if they use exact right words, that the mother won't be punishing or withdrawn or mean or lash back. and yet that isn't the case. it's not about them. your entire life has been about them.
