‘For some reason, I feel hesitated.’
A month had passed since the semester started but for me, it was the first day I attended the school. Would I be okay? Could I still make friends? Obviously, it was too late to make an impression and gain some social standing. Even though I knew it was required for a high school student. But attending school a month late than the others was my least problem.
That was because...
“Are you okay, Akira? If you're not we could go home then tell your teacher that you don't feel well,” my mother asked behind me.
I looked at her over my shoulder and saw her face full of anxiousness so I gave her the most beautiful smile I could muster.
“You don't have to worry, Mom. I'll be fine.” ‘Probably.’
“Well, if you said that then...”
There was still a hint of uncertainty in her voice hence it left me no choice but to hold her hand and said, “I...can do this. I'm your daughter, after all.”
I tried to look brave but my voice trembled at my first word. Fortunately, she didn't seem to notice it.
“Then, let's go,” she prompted.
Slowly, I lifted my hand and knocked on the sliding door in front of me. Bookbag on my lap, the wheelchair slightly move forward as my mother gently pushed it.
I still couldn't get used to it. The sensation of the rough fabric brushing against my back, the constant heat I felt whenever I sat there for too long and the creaking noises it created when the wheels started to roll around.
Until a year ago, I was still standing on my feet and seeing the world in higher view, but now it was too low.
I had to look up just to meet other people's eyes and when that happened—I was cowering like a child. People looking down at me were too much more intimidating than I expected. Truth be told, I am scared.
I was scared—like now my hands wouldn't stop trembling and had them pressed together just to make it calm. I had no idea if someone might see them shaking so I hid them behind my bookbag just to be sure.
I wanted to go home but I didn't want to see my mother being too worried again. That was why I decided to attend school now. I don't want her to get worried.
“Oh, you are already here, Tachibana-san, ”the teacher greeted as the door slid open.
He looked like a good teacher but he was too scary for me. His shadow engulfed my whole body making him look too big.
Then after a few exchanges with my mother, we proceeded into the classroom. Out of the corner of my eyes, my body tensed up as I saw my classmates shift their gazes at me. Some of them stopped talking as soon as I entered the room.
I gripped my skirt tightly and introduced myself.
“Tachibana A..Akira. I hope we get along well...” Even I could tell that my tone was dropping, regardless, I gritted my teeth and stopped myself from looking downwards.
The room was silent. I could hear nothing but the branches of the tree outside grazing against the window. That was when I could tell, I didn't belong in this place.
Just then when my keep-up appearance slowly crashed and my sight started to lower, I heard claps from the girl sitting at the very back of the class. She had light-colored hair suggesting she dyed it quite some time ago. She had more than one piercing on her ear and had her cardigan tied around her waist. She didn't look like a good student but she was looking at me with a friendly smile on her face.
As though my classmates back to their senses, they also clapped their hands like the girl at the back did.
Somehow, the stiffness on my shoulder disappeared and my tightened hand loosened. It was still scary...but knowing someone like her was in the same class as me, made my worries lessened.
