'The food is on the table, also I put the extra money in your drawer just in case you need anything. -Mom'
The boy read the letter and crumpled it before throwing it in the dustbin. He sighed and went to the kitchen, a plate and bowl wrapped with white transparent plastic was placed on it. 'Fried rice again.' He thought before dragging the chair and opening the plastic.
It's cold. He muttered but slowly chewed the food. After finishing up, he did the dishes and went to his room, exhausted and tired from an eventful day.
He closed his eyes, his today at school flashed like a film in his mind. His classmates participated in the sports event and their parents cheered for them. Some of them get annoyed with their parents for clicking too many photos and some enjoy their warm looking lunch with their parents.
Cold.
He turned towards his side, pulled a blanket and wrapped himself till his droopy eyes closed and he fell asleep.
His dreams were always about his parents turning their back on him, no matter how much he screamed or ran after them they never turned back to look at him. Instead, a swamp pulled him further and further down until he woke up drenched in sweat, gasping for air and falling back asleep again, repeating the cycle. Felt like he was trapped in the endless loop, again and again but he wouldn't tell his parents.
Even if he did what would change? They increasing his pocket money? Buying him gifts and making him more empty like their emotions? What was it that he needed to do to get their attention, so that they would look at him. Spare even a bit of their time for him.
Getting top place was not enough, even getting the last place only made them give him a disappointed look but even that was enough, at least they spared a glance at him. Still, how long will it last for? These negative thoughts were his friends.
The next day came by, same dull and boring. Smiling and laughing at his friends but an endless void eating him up from inside.
You were a good student, we expected a lot from you but the way your studies are taking direction..... His teacher lectured again.
I will do better next time. He uttered the same old response. Despite getting hopeless looks from his teacher, he was determined to get good grades since after this term there would be parents meeting. He also wanted praise from his parents.
So he studied, his goal was to get top position. Soon it was result day, he placed third. The day for the parents ' meeting arrived, he hoped this time would be different. Something to change. Something to look forward to. He hoped his envious gazes towards his friends when they smiled with their parents would finally be over.
He waited in excitement, time passed but they didn't come. Are they not coming? Your parents? You informed them right? His homeroom teacher inquired.
He hung his head low, biting his lower lip, he tried to contain his waves of emotions.
The homeroom teacher said nothing and dialed his mother's number, when he saw that his mother had picked up, a part of him had hopes but when his teacher said they were busy, he nodded and left.
It was lunch, as usual he went to the cafeteria and went on the roof, even if it was restricted. Taking a bite off his bread, he glanced down, some parents were coming, some were leaving, some were conversing with their children.
He climbed to the other side of the railing, taking a deep breath as he walked towards the edge. When he saw the students and parents below looking at him, all of their gazes fixed at him, he felt a rush of excitement. His mind went blank and he was filled with thrill. The looks on their faces didn't matter, none of it mattered. All it mattered was that their gazes were fixed on him. He was the centre of their attention. Some were calling him, some tried to talk him out of it.
He never went there with the intention of jumping off, but the stimulation was too much. A laughter escaped his mouth and biting the bread in his hand he took a leap down the building. Fear, excitement, happiness, thrill he felt all of them. It was his highest point, all eyes on him and when he took the impact of fall his smile still stayed there.
His eyes closed and when he could feel the warmth leaving his body, and the cold embracing him, he found peace in that solace. A trickle of tear slid down his outer canthus of his eyes towards his ears and he called out for his mother but she wasn't there, like always, he was alone even when he took his last breath.
