I made a promise that once we are old enough, I will marry her.
But...I didn't expect that upon her adopted sister's arrival, I could feel that I won't be able to keep this promise.
What's the problem with me?
Did her adopted sister seduce me?
Or, am I just being an asshole?
Believe me... I don't understand myself either.
Now that we're grown up...
She's already my girlfriend and I am happy that I chose to be with her.
Still...
Whenever her adopted sister is around, I can't stop myself from staring at her...
I know my girlfriend is beautiful. She is kind and gentle. A little bit stubborn which is the reason why we sometimes fight.
Despite of that, I still chose to stay with her...
I will marry her.
But then... Her adopted sister is also always there... She's also pretty, but not as lively as my girlfriend. She's very caring to my girlfriend and considers her as a sister with sincerity.
She's also stubborn, but very quiet and secretive so it would be hard to notice.
There was a time when the two of them got sick at the same time and I was the one who took good care of them. Both of them were very happy... That's also the first time I saw her smile. She smiled at me as if its her first time to experience being taken care of...
Maybe...in the orphanage no one cares about her... Good thing my girlfriend's parents adopted her.
As we grow older... I start wooing my girlfriend and her parents because I want to fulfill my promise. We're going to marry each other.
But, I also realized something...
Marrying her means we'll spend our lifetime together. Only the two of us...
Then, what about her adopted sister?
I am starting to sound unreasonable, but I also grew up with her. The three of us have been together for so many years.
Why am I hesitating now?
Is it because I can't bare to leave her alone?
One day...
My parents and theirs had a lunch together. They are now planning for the engagement, then the wedding.
I am happy... But, something's wrong deep inside me.
I looked around and saw my girlfriend smiling at me happily. Then, I turned to look at her adopted sister...
Why? Why would you look at me with such painful expression?
I just stared at her for a moment trying to understand why she's acting like that.
As the day passed by, my girlfriend's adopted sister started avoiding me. Because of that, I began to start worrying. I think about her most of the time.
My girlfriend also noticed the sudden change in my attitude, so she did something that I didn't expect her to do.
That night when her parents went for work while her adopted sister did an overtime in the company, she asked me if we can do it.
As if she's been planning this for a long time, she removed her clothes and pushed towards the sofa in their living room. She begged and told me that she's been lonely these past few days.
I stared at her. My heart is beating quickly that moment. I could feel myself getting uncomfortable that time. Then, I grabbed her by her nape and kissed her lips hungrily. She moaned opening her mouth, so that I can go on with a deeper kiss.
That's an unforgettable moment between the two of us. We did it that night and I could feel that she really loves me.
But, why... Why couldn't I do the same?
She loves me, and I will marry her.
Despite of what we did that night, I still can't stop thinking about her adopted sister. I missed those days when the three of us were together. She'll prepare snacks for the three of us during our group study. Then, whenever my girlfriend and I fall asleep, she would leave and get back with blankets on her arms. I could tell that because I was just bowing my head sleepily, but I was not asleep at all... She covered us with those blankets, whispering "sleepwell," then giving us a light kiss on the forehead.
I wish I could go back in time.
One day... My bestfriend unexpectedly visited my girlfriend and me because she's been sick these past few weeks. Because of that, I wasn't able to go to the company. He's the one who took over it for awhile.
He just made a very quick visit. I thought he's going to leave, but he's not. He's over there... Talking quietly to my girlfriend's adopted sister.
I noticed that she took a glanced at me with an unknown expression.
Then...
My bestfriend pulled her towards him. He hugged her and she didn't resist. I called her, but she didn't respond.
Clenching my fist, I looked at them sharply.
After a few moments, she moved away from him.
But...she's not angry... Is it really fine with her to be hugged by him?
No...She must be angry. She should've shove or slap him.
I waited, but she didn't do anything.
Then, she tried to look at me but he stopped her by ruffling her hair with his right hand.
I called her one more time telling her that I need help because her sister is not listening to me. She doesn't want to take her medicines.
Annoyed, I left not wanting to see them any closer to each other.
I waited inside my girlfriend's room.
She entered with an unknown expression. Her cheeks are as as red as cherries. She's even clenching her fist in front of her chest.
Did something happen between the two of them when I left?
No... I shouldn't be. They must not fall for each other.
I stared at her as she convinces my girlfriend to drink her medicine. After a short talk, she successfully made her drink it.
For a short moment... She looked at me and caught me staring at her.
She gave me a small smile and said, "Please take good care of my sister... You know how much she loves you."
Then, she left...
I could feel my heart being torn to pieces. She said that as if she's telling me to 'stay away from her...'
But I can't... I can't...
Tears start to roll down my eyes as I remember something... That time, I was just closing my eyes to take a rest.
My girlfriend's adopted sister suddenly said something out-of-nowhere...
Those words remained in my head up until now...
If...If only I chose to recognize my real feelings...
If only I met you first...
If only you're the one I made promise with...
If only we ended up together in the end...
I opened my eyes and stared on the ceiling.
Taking a deep breath with tears forming in my eyes, I said softly, "If only you were mine..."
