-monday 13 june 2022-
-Do you know that story ? The story of that lonely boy ? He lived alone . And he still live alone . We all start somewhere right ? We all live that happiness . And even tho the final ligne could have been "And they end up happy for ever after". Even though... But would this story feel real ?
He smile sadly, losing himself in his thoughts for a t
short time ,before getting "woke up" by the child noise , who wanted their story .
-There's no happy ending .We all die alone right ?
Listening to him , there was that small child with golden hair . A precious boy , fighting against illness . He lift his head, gazing into the old ginger men green eyes .
-Do we?
here , were the only word his shy self could allow himself to say .
The nurse smile softly . That little boy deserved hope . The hope ... "he" couldn't get . The hope all they couldn't .
-That was everything that young boy told me .But i think he was wrong. You know him right ? Leandro. Such a nice boy .
He came here , in this hospital, broken . Like most of the people here . I once ,saw a smile brightened his face . That may look dumb, but i felt like i was about to melt . I should have take sunscreen with me that day .
The old men say gently , scratching his imposing white beard, which fascinated the youngest children in the hospital.
The nurse , use to like saying he was a sorcerer with a magic beard ...
The young child , sitting all around their favorite magician start laughing, while asking him to keep telling his story .
The older one, who did understand the whole sentence, and for some of them already
knew this story, looked at the men with a sad smile.
They knew mr Al was hurt by this boys life.
So he always ... Add an happy end for the child .
While the child were waiting for their story , the old nurse end up zoning out .
Seeing that letter .Reading it again ...
.
.
.
Monday 1rst December 2007
So that was the letter , right?
The only thing...
He wanted to let me .
I feel useless.And angry .At me, at everyone.
The couldn't stop you .
Nor him. Nor her . They couldn't give her voice back to Lea .
I sight , deeply , bitting my lips .
Harshly.
My hands were shaking.
Slowly , scared of what i would see , i started to read the letter .
-I won't escape this time ...
”Happy .
We were all happy . Do you remember, Tolys ? I do . Your smile couldn't lie . I'm sure .
Was it all a fake ?
The time was being windy . But we were all having fun right ?
I remember. That joy . My heart felt hot . I was... Feeling happy . I couldn't be more .
Emily was creating a sand castle . But this idiot didnt think that doing that almost in the see wasn't a good idea ... It go through a funny situation. Do you remember?
Lea was fighting the wave . Screaming after them .
« frucking water leave my baby gurl alone !»
I can still hear her weird accents .
Scottish accent .
That accent that made Emily fall for her .
Anton was just throwing wet sand at Isaac . Poor boy .
I still remember him, in panic , running away .
That was really funny . Not as funny as the weird look that people gave us .
At that moment , we didn't care .
We were nothing, but 9 lost child having fun . Child ? Were we ? What does it even mean ?
Is the word child related to an age ? An act ?
Those word seems now meaningless to me .
Me who use to want to ... Be a poet . Do you remember?
That was what i was doing , lying on my old dragon ball towels . I remember it really well .
That towel was so old , there were hole everything.
Everyone kept telling me to throw it away , i couldn't . Because it keep make me think of him.
I was writing, laying on my towel , happily, freely . I was feeling the wind . The sea . Happiness .
Well... All that stop when Allistor got the smart idea to put a crab in my underwear. I didnt understand right now, do you remember ?
Then you slowly came by my side, screaming my name. Half worried , half laughing .
You had such a beautiful smile .
I wish i had cherished it more .
That was when i stand up , wondering what were happening, why that idiot was laughing his ass off , rolling all over the sand , i felt it. That crabs ... I can tell you that there is more fun than getting your ass pinched by a crab.
I was surprised, i couldn't even react .
Scared , and wanting my vengeance, i started running, screaming,getting undressed .
And after that,with that hot smirk that only him could do , he just excuse himself, saying that he did that to ... Should i even write it there ? I'm sure you remember well .
Anyway, it'll be funny for the one reading that i guess .
He told me he did that so he could have an excuse to see... it. To compare our height.
Damn i think,back then, he was the only one able to turn me into a tomato .
And you, you were trying to hide behind me .
It was all joy . Alexa were pursuing you , holding a crab .
You asshole were hiding being my dwarf self ... We were both dwarf to be honest.
The crabs ended up falling into Alistor chest .
I admit it was hella funny .
Alexa end up smirking, pushing that redhead boy , i had a crush on .
And then she take a rings out of ... her bikini top .
We may looked dumb , but we were happy .
So happy .
And then, suddenly,she ask you out .
That was unexpected right ?
No one did notice us . Just the sun , looking at us .
Lightning your smiling face .
Your bright smile .
I was happy .
Until i saw Allistor face .
Do you know? He loved you .
Yeah, i was surprised too .
I admit it . I thought i had a chance with him.
Then you left .
Like that . Without saying a word.
You wanted to buy some ice cream for everyone.
That what you said . I should knew something wasn't right , the moment you gave us that look. I should stop you .
Instead, i just followed you .
Why would i stop you ? I had no reason .
You didnt knew i was here .
I start thinking something was off , the moment i saw you going near the cliff . Their were no ice cream here.
I was so dumb .
You , suddenly pick up some flower .
I didnt expected that .
I was about to go back . But ... I don't know why . I felt uneasy . You remember?
That pain . My heart was bitting so fast . My stomach was killing me . All me sense were screaming.
I only blink a few seconds .
But when i opened my eyes again...
The only sound i could here was a huge...
no . no no no no .
Do i really want to say that ? I can still see it ! You ... You're shirt . lay on the top of the cliff .You had put it off . you wanted ...
You wanted the sea to wash ... the death to take all that body you despised ?
Or us ? You wanted to killed us ?
I want to scream . It's unbearable.
Why did you did that !Why why why why why why Hy wHy !
We where here for you .
Was i bad ?
Did i do something bad ?
Were you punishing me ? The doctor told me you had depression . That you couldn't... Stop it . That you didnt had help . That it wasnt my fault . Nor Alexia's .
Your girlfriend. The girl that saw you falling that day .
Our little peace... Our group is broken .
We need you .
We needed you .
But now ...Who's even the "we"?
Alexa's dead . Is she with you ?
Are you both somewhere, together?
Emily . She take it ...
Better than the other .
I think .
Last time , Ophelia told me ...About her girlfriend nightmare. Her fear or death . Of suicide . She fear sadness .
Talking about that Scottish ...
You know , your bestfriend...
She didnt say a word .
She's mute .
She became mute .
Allistor ?
He hate me . He despised me . That was all my fault , he said.
I was unable to protect you .
Am i a monster ?
Am i horrible? Because i ...
Because i'm so angry? Is that not right ?
To be broken ?
After seeing you dying ?
Am i that egotistical?
It should've be me .
It would have been better , for everyone.
