My Past Time
I don't know what's going on...but it seems like,i'm crazy imagining that there have a man with me?Or is it all true?
I'm confusing...I don't know how? When and what happened?
Seems like there was an incident i couldn’t get out of that place?
What will I do?
Who is he? And why am i there?
" Love! No !!!! don't leave me! ". I said while sobbing
Why? Why would he leave me right away?
" Love you said right? You love me? But why are you leaving me? ". I'm just crying and crying
" L-love i-i l-love y-you b-but i-it's a-already m-my t-ime to leave you ... love p-please p-promise me if i-i die? Please find somebody that can love you till the end? b-because I can't do that anymore ... for the last time ". he hardly say
" I "
" Love "
" You ". he said last while still not losing the smile on his lips
Gradually he closed his eyes until I was screaming...It's hurts!
No?can you just not? lord can you make a way?Can you let him back?
" No!?Why?love please wake up...we both still have a dream to fulfill right? Why did you give up right away? you said you love me? but why are you so unfair? ". I said while crying and moving his body hoping he was still alive
...
He died because of that b*llshit accident!
We were happy together in the car and he should take me home...but
But his car loses its brakes...they say I'm lucky because I'm still alive...but for me?
My bad luck! I'm so mad at myself!
Why?
Because what would i do to myself? If the man i've been with for a few years? Will leave me?
He doesn't have a sick...
He was not killed...
If we hadn't had an accident he wouldn't be die...
I'm always asking why am i still alive? That's it...i'll be with him for the rest of my life!But he suddenly left me...
Why does all of this need to be happen?
" I love you so so..so much love...why did that happen?do i deserve to be left behind?do i deserve to lose the person i love? ". I said while looking at the sky
*****
" Hon ..". someone hug me at my back
" Mmm? ". i said
" How deep is the sea? Do you have a life preserver? ". he laugh at it...is it funny?
He trying to say that...does i thinking depth like a sea hahaha...and do i have a life preserver?
" Huh? I don't know what are you saying ... you're kidding me again ". wrinkle my face
" Hahaha...It's look like you're thinking something again? ". he said and pressed his head against my neck
How i love this man...
" Do you thinking of him again? ". he suddenly asked
" Oum ... he's always on my mind never to disappear ". I said bluntly
" Let's say i'm jealous...but it's like you're saying why should i be jealous to the person who's gone already? But hon...don't think too much...it's not good for your health ". he reminded he is my husband...he's Wilbert...
" Hahahah...I know hon... ". I laughed
Wait i remember!
" It's his death anniversary hon ". I smile bitterly and face him
" Owh...what is the month and the day today? ". he asked
" June 10,2030...it's been 8 years but it is still fresh from my mind hon... ". i said
It's look like it just happened yesterday?
" You know what hon?For me you are a brave woman...why? Because you were able to live even without him and because of that we met ". He touched both my cheeks and he smiled
" Psh..hahahahah...I love you hon... ". i smiley said too
" I love you more than you love me hon ". he said and give me a kiss to my lips
" Mommy, Daddy ". words of our daughter Clarisse
" Yes baby? ". I asked him with a smile
" Come here baby ". Wilbert said and carry her
" Okay dad... Mom?isn't it Tito Clark's death anniversary today? ". she question me
" Yeah.. your right baby it's his death anniversary..why? ". i nodded
" Are we going to the cemetery? To visit him there? ". she smiley asked
" Uhmm...yes..why are you ready? ". i asked
" Yes Mommy!i'm ready and i'm super excited to visit Tito Clark's grave ". her smile like reached her ears
" Really?So what?Are we going there already? ". i ask
" Yes please mommy? ". my daughter puppy eyes to me..i just smiled and look at her Daddy...
" Please Daddy? ". my daughter also puppy eyes to her Dad..hahaha she's so cute
" Okay...okay your so pretty and cute ". said Wilbert and squeezed our baby's cheek
" Of course Daddy...i inherit from Mommy ". my daughter smiley said
Oh right? did you all hear that? she's inherit from me?
" Really? ". my husband teasing me
" Whatever! ". i look at him seriously
" Kidding...Let's go because our baby Clarisse is so excited to go". Wilbert smiled at me and smiled at our baby Clarisse
"Yehey!". she said happily
We named Clarisse's name after Clark...I want Clark's name to be remembered...so that's it...
Clarisse knew Clark because I told her everything...including the tragedy of why everything was like that...
CEMETERY
" Hey...how are you...Do you know Clark?...our daughter Clarisse is now starting to be a big girl hahaha...and it's been 8 years since you left me...I miss you so much Clark...are you okay there?are you happy there? what are you doing there? haha ". i smile
"Hi..Tito Clark!..maybe you remember me too hihihi...because we always visit you when it's your death anniversary...Mommy really misses you so much Tito...I know Mommy loves my Daddy now already,but Tito she really miss you because it's been a while since you last met ". my daughter said happily
"How are you bro? ... thank you ... I just want to thank you hahaha ... sorry if Trisha is already with me now haha ...she misses you be careful there always bro ". Wilbert said
" Thank you so much Clark ... see you again...I love you " . I said for the last time..
It's My Past Time...
If at first i thought i was unlucky because i lost the man i love...
But now i am grateful and i have a happy and whole family ...
Maybe in that case it was the most painful day but...maybe because he said i should look for a man not to replace him,but a man so that i can be with forever...
I love you Clark...
But it's not like how i love you before,
Because now i love my family more...
And this is My Past Time....
The End.
