"If I was a girl... would you fall in love with me ?"
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This line.... It's just a line , isn't it?! Then why does it hurt so much ? It's like my heart is aching from the deep down.
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I'm Shima . Yeah I am a boy and the fact I hate the most.... Since childhood my parents loved my older sister more cuz she is a girl and I'm a 'Boy' (they actually wanted a girl 😑) I can't study in my favorite major but I have to study business management cuz I'm a 'Boy' and I have to inheritance my family business . Even in school All kind of risky staff should done by us . Cuz we are 'Boy' and girls can't do it . It's dangerous for them.
and Then in the bus I have to stand up and give my sit to a girl cuz I'm a 'Boy'. 🙂
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But this things... I didn't actually cared about this before... Cuz It's the system of nature (maybe 😕)
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But the thing that really bother me is He...
Who is he ?!
He is Ren . My childhood best friend . Although We were friend from childhood . But slowly I realized that the feelings for him in my heart is not just 'Friendship' it's something more...at first I tried so hard to give up this feelings for him . But it was just wasting of power cuz I can't give up on him . I have already fell so deep . Then what should I do ? Should I confess to him ? I also thought about this...but He likes girls... yeah he likes girls...
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That summer was our last summer in highschool . I was just thinking if not now then I won't have a chance in future too...
And then that night by the seaside I made a confession to him .
- Ren , I... I have a special feeling for you ren . I love you ren . Not like Brothers it's the romantic love .
- what are you saying shima? Don't kid about something like that. We are both men .
- What's wrong with that ? Can't two men date ?
- No . Can't. You know I love girls. Please shima, don't act like this....
- then, if I were a girl... You fall in love with me?
-But you are not a girl..... shima, You are my best friend , I don't wanna lose my friend so please don't mention this again....
(He just left like that...I was standing there and watching him going far away from me..)
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That's the time when I started to hate myself...
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Sometimes I think being girl is so beautiful. Everyone loves girls and especially him . If I were a girl he would love me too... But unfortunately I'm a 'Boy'.
