I was spoiled by my peers' compliments, making me full of myself. Thinking that I'm so worthy of all the things other people have in their living— successfully built dreams, having a plate full of golds, battles without pressure, no enemies for they'll fear of opposing me... but no, I became so selfish to think that I deserve all the things I want and ended up becoming disappointed for I expected too much. I also thought of it as the reason why in every game of love i put a bet in, I always end up crying. I wished for too much for I was drunk on my own alcohol of selfishness, wanting a perfect taste of love, my fictionalized thoughts attacking at that time without even me realizing. I became mad of all the people around me for they can't give what I demand, but now I do know that they won't give me what I want for they would give me what they think I deserve and what they can let me have. I experienced times where I look so fool and now taking my moves as a result of the traumatizing events with people I've been in but no— it was all just the result of my egocentric intellect— desiring things to go as I planned and wanted it to be for I am afraid that the same things that happened before, will occur again. Same game, same loser.
Anyways, I posted this because I also want to join any active group chat. I'm looking for recommendations and invites. :}