WRITER/AUTHOR: Miss A
He was 19 years old and I'm 17 years old, that is when he courted me for almost 1 year and i gently said that I'm not ready yet but he replied that he will wait for me
He graduated, he became a pilot, that's why i become a flight attendant, i liked him but I can't trust him deeply that's why i didn't tell him yet, he also said that he will wait for me so i believe it
He waited for me for almost 2 years and later on i say yes to him, but month later he distance himself to me that break my heart, I don't know what's going on with him, i feel hurt, I was lost without him. How time flies when he was courting me and now he is getting further and further away from me
I'm not used to everywhere without him, he used to go wherever i go and then i remember it's all back in high school, we are not high school anymore we are adult
Right now he doesn't answer my text and call anymore, we're grown up. But all the memories still growing inside my mind
In the day I cried silently in my room so he won't know and by the night i still cried. actually we're leaving under the same roof. He doesn't come home but I didn't care and think as if he was working at night
My cousin burst into my room while i immediately wipe my tears
"Sia" my cousin shouted from a far running towards me
"Amy what's wrong, what's the hurry?" I calmly said while patting her back
"Sia is this your boyfriend your talking about?" She showed a news paper of him hugging a girl..
I noticed the caption above the picture so i read it
"This girl is making out with a handsome boy, is it her boyfriend? What a good match!"
And that i got hurt again, i was about to cry but i hold back my tears as I don't want my cousin to see me looking misserable and said " yeah maybe he's comforting her, look the girl is about to cry" i point at the photo of the girl beside him
"What the, comforting?! Are you f*cking blind sis?" She shouted once again but i just keep silence
"Sis" she looked at me
"Go home" i calmly said and she run out
Month past, I didn't get text or message and now i was sitting on the couch waiting for him to contact me but he still didn't contact me, no calls, no message and what worst is a newspaper of him and that girl keep spreading each day and i feel hurt
I keep looking at the newspaper, i open my weibo and there people was envying them and I didn't even notice that the tears was rolling down my cheek I can't hold it back anymore
I called him, as I can't take this anymore, i want an answer for this. I called and called and called but no one answer and try calling him again and he answered
"Hello" i happily said
"Who's this?" A woman said over the phone
I hang up the phone feeling hurt and indifferent then a different number sent me a message saying " let's meet tonight at your favorite place, this is john I'm here to make everything clear thank you"
Night comes and i immediately go to my favorite place i thought he will surprise me but i was so devastated when he just text to break up with me
"Sia, you should have seen the weibo post and newspaper right, i have someone i love now, i have the person that will stay by my side"
"What about me? You said you will marry me when we finally achieve our dreams" I point to myself while saying that word
"Im So sorry sia, maybe i wasn't really sure that day when i courted you"
"Not sure, didn't you love me"
"Yeah i did love you in the past but now I don't love you anymore, i love someone else so i hope you can blessed us"
I lower my head and said " is it that girl called Lyn? "
"yes" he replied immediately
" you seems so sure that she is your destiny, but you are more sure your not for me. Am i right? "
" Sorry" he replied
The word that I didn't wanna hear in my life, as sorry kills me many times. my heart is breaking into piece's as he says those words
"It is because i was not good enough? Am i not worthy of you, where did i go wrong john? what did i do to deserve this kind of breakdown? answer me!!" I hit his chest so hard that he grasp
"you didn't do anything wrong, it's my fault. You deserve the best thing in this world but I can't give what you deserve I'm sorry " he looked down and avoid my glance when he replied
"Sorry" his last word before walking away
I was broken but here i was trying so hard to understand him, i love him my whole life. And this is what i get for loving someone.
"Right!! What are you saying sorry for? It's your choice to leave me i understand you now, you have my blessing" i said and I'm sure he hears it but continue walking
Now i realized that the stupidest thing that i ever did was falling in love with a wrong person in a wrong time, i was never someone's favorite since i was a teenager how can i expect someone can love me and be his favorite person...
But even though it's stupid, i never regret falling in love
Our time together can be just all memories after all, they said "Memories is like a calendar we can always look back but we can never go back"
That's right i totally agreed, thank you for being part of your memories john" i silently said and wipe my tears as he continue walking further
I finally realized that we're not meant to be John.We are meant to fall apart. I hope this is the choice you will never regret, I've loved you but you choose another, I'm happy that you found your endless happiness
I was badly hurt because of you but I won't allow myself to be hurt furthermore so i should thank you as you stop hurting me and say what inside of you
"Even if we are meant to fall apart no one can erase you from my heart"
"One thing is for sure that i manage to be part of your past but i can't be part of your future" i smiled and said "goodbye"
"Our Story ended here John."
THE END
