I always did my things as I liked.Never bothered care about anyone or anything not related to me.I did care about my family members but I didn't appreciate them or rather I didn't found a way to appreciate as much was needed.After getting away from them by a long distance I realised I love them.
I have been away from them for 6 years.It is long enough to identify my feelings for the people who once were with me family , friends ,neighbours aquintances and some strangers too.
The most people in my memories are disapppering.It is like there existence
didn't matter that much to me. I only care a few people.I haven't been feeling any kind of emotion. I am empty, devoid of any excitement or sadness.I have to convince myself create a desire to do anything for myself or for enjoyment.But there still exist a spark of my ambition which allows me to perfom the actions to complete the tasks which my job require to do.I work as softwaresystem developer
earning more than enough to fulfill most requirement of mine and the one's dependent upon me. I am 28,unmarried and alone.
Lokking back I was never interested in anything except money which was the for most of my traumas. For which I decided to earn enough for my self.
Sometimes I read books which I liked and that was it.Currently I have not able to find anyone who interests me, I don't greet anyone nor does anyone care about me excluding my parents. Perhaps the only the one whom I was very invested with was her.
I don't recollect any oneplace which was fascinating without her involvement.
I sometimes even thought that emotions were hindrance always decreasing peoples efficiency.Now am a bit clearer on these things maybe they are also helpful.I wonder if the little enjoyment I ever found were just because her.I remember a few places my friend's explained very fun(they always said that and dragged me everywhere).Now I have discovered the mundane earth wasn't ever beautiful it was the moon in the sky.
I have understood everything.I wasn't happy beacause I did something new or I visited a new place,it was because you were there.Now I realise I was fulfilled just with your presence beside me. Everything was beautiful because you were with me.You didn't stay much longer with me but I still remeber you.With how far I am going away from you,you are becoming more and more precious to me. The world would have been beautiful if I knew how important you are to me. Perhaps you also have gone so far that I may not be able to claim you. Now as I know that how you felt about me I will search for you and let you know that atleast I have understood your feelings nonetheless.If possible perhaps claim you.
I MISS YOU.
