I Love You, Bestfriend

"I don't think this is a good idea", I whispered, playing with my fingers under the long table

"Just try it, Jem. We already talked about this, right?"

I stared at Tanner. O' how did I ever got myself a bestfriend like him. I mean, we're total opposites. He's popular, he's social, he's got the looks and he's so happy-go-lucky-- All the things that I'm not.

"Tanner---"

"We agreed that I'd teach you to get rid of your boring side, remember?" he smiled widely

I sighed, "Does that mean eating and drinking in a library?"

"Hey, I'm the tutor here. Let's do it. Get it out"

"Tan, I don't--"

"The chips, Jem"

I held my bag tightly and heave a sigh when I gave up. Fine, I'll do it

I looked at Tanner before I slowly got the cheetos out of my bag along with the two bottles of coke.

I gulped and looked around. There were only few people inside the library and they seem to mind their own businesses. I sighed once again. Phew, no one seems to---

Ssshhikk

I slowly turned my head to see Tanner who now holds the now opened cheetos while munching loudly. He even smiled at me and offered some.

Oh God.

The people closest to our table looked our direction and I just wanna hide under the table and tell people I'm just a normal student studying for exams. But before I could even try to do so, Tanner grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him.

No no no no no.

"Hey, bestfriend. I thought you wanted to eat here? Here, have some" he smiled evily at me and put the cheetos inches from my face.

I couldn't count how many times I gulped before I finally decided to get a piece. I looked at Tanner, hoping that we could just back out but he was just happily anticipating my next move.

So I closed my eyes for a while and put the chip inside my mouth and munch it. I imagined the crispy sound as the soil cracking that would just eat me.

I didn't dare to look around and grabbed my coke and drink it. But before I could completely gulp it down my throat--

"Ehem"

A tall woman, probably in her late forties, was standing in front of us. I couldn't even speak.

"Yes?" Tanner answered casually like eating in a library is a normal daily routine

The librarian's eyebrow raised like it was threatening to touch her hairline. Pfft.

Oh my God, Jemimah. A ready-to-pounce-librarian is standing in front of you and you still think her eyebrow is funny?

But it looked like a thin line--- nevermind. I looked at Tanner. How is he so relaxed?

"Do you want to go to the office?"

I froze. I never had a bad record. Will this be the first time?

"Ofcourse not!" Tanner answered, "I mean who does? Jem? Do you?"

I shook my head stiffly.

He shrugged, "Then I guess no one here wants to go, eh?"

The librarian narrowed her eyes at us, "Kid, who said you have a choice? Both of you are going with me. Stand up"

My eyes widened in-- shock? no. I'm not shocked at all. I knew this was coming. Is this excitement I feel?

I looked at Tanner. What do we do?

He looked at me and showed his me his big grin. I know that grin. Oh no.

Below the table, he suddenly held my hand. My heartbeat doubled. What? Is this still excitement I feel?

"Oh. But I just answered whether we wanted to go to the office or not"

Now I really feel like the librarian's eyebrow would touch her hairline.

"TO THE OF--"

I felt Tanner tighten his hold on me, "Oh Mrs. McGonagall, isn't that Dumbledore?!"

The next thing I know I was running like crazy. I barely even grabbed my bag!

Then I realized we were running for our lives out of the library. He called the librarian Mrs. McGonagall! Pfft-- I didn't know that I wasalready laughing slong with Tanner. My heart was racing though I'm not exactly sure about the particular reason.

Tanner was grinning while we dashed as he holds my hand. I watched as if everything was in slow motion. Tanner was holding my hand. He smiles and I hear my heart beat doubled as the sound of Mrs. McGonagall's shout was slowly fading in the background.

Is this just excitement? --or mixed with something else?

I came back to my senses as I felt someone clapping in front of my face

"Earth to Jemimah! are you that excited that you're smiling into space?"

He was slightly panting-- Oh I'm also panting. I'm smiling? I blinked and looked around. We were at the grass field overlooking the wide soccer field. Did we lose Mrs. Mc-- the librarian?

"See? Wasn't that fun?"

I looked at the grinning Tanner. There goes my heart again.

"Y-yeah" I smiled

He sat on the grass and he patted the space beside him and I sat.

"Ahh I'll miss this"

I tilted my head, "Miss what?"

"This. Me and you hanging around each other. I mean, we'll both graduate in a month. And who knows where we'll work?"

Oh yeah. Graduation.

"We'll find time"

He smirked, "You gotta promise that one now. I'm afraid maybe someday you'll just walk past me once you get yourself a boyfriend and a big time job"

My eyes widened, "Hey! It's you who'll do that to me! You'll realize you're too popular to be hanging out with someone like me!"

He laughed and ruffled my hair. Ugggh why does he do that?

"That won't happen. Let's keep in touch, yeah?" he grabbed a stone near him and stood up to walk towards the tree we were hiding from. He suddenly started carving on the trunk

I stood up and followed him, "What's that?"

He didn't reply. He just carved and I couldn't help but stare at him. I remembered how we first met. How he played a prank on me then apologized over and over. It was funny, really. He looked creeped out everytime I ignored his apology or just nod and walk past him

"There," he pointed at his work "Now we shouldn't forget our promises"

I stared at it. I felt warmth swarming my insides.

Tanner and Jemimah, 2017.

I nodded, "You're the one who wrote it so better not forget!"

He laughed and put arm around my shoulders and ruffled my hair, "Tell me when you fall in love so I could laugh at you, ha!" he joked

I felt like my heart stopped for a moment.

I managed to smile at him.

You can laugh at me now, Tan. I think I already fell for you.

"Congratulations"

I smiled at the director and received my diploma and we shook hands as rehearsed.

My mom was still in the verge of tearing up that I almost laughed at her. She was really looking forward to this day, maybe even more excited and happy as I am.

We both faced at the camera and smile as I hold my diploma in my hands before we descended the stage

Finally.

"Congratulations, Jemimah" Aunt Wendy, Tanner's mom, greeted me

I smiled, "Thanks, Wendy. Where's Tanner?"

"He's outside. Go get him, honey"

I smiled and nodded at my mom before walking away. Mom and Wendy always said that me and Tanner were soulmates and we always just brushed it off

Who knew I'll be falling for my best friend?

A month ago, I realized how important Tanner is to me. Not the bestfriend kind of important but something else. He was a part of my daily routine. My happy pill, my ball of craziness and my bestfriend.

I realized how what I feel for him. It was more than a friend's love and I just hope he feels the same.

His craziness didn't end on the library ruckus we made. For a month, we were like twins who were always together doing random things. We rang doorbells and ran, played pranks on people, and many other things that makes no sense but made me feel how happiness and excitement really feel

I promised myself that I'll tell him how I feel today. I don't know where to start but I wasn't used to this feeling and all I want is for him to know

I turned to the right side of the venue and there I saw Tanner. He was laughing with the other guys in a circle. He looked like he was telling a story enthusiastically- he looked so happy that I can't help but smile.

I walked towards him with renewed vigor but then slowed my pace as soon as I saw someone beside him. My heart raced for an unknown reason. My smile slowly faded.

Who is--

"Jem!" he waved at me "Come here!"

I tried to smile but I barely found the energy to walk but I did, slowly. All the while staring at the person beside him

As soon as I was close enough he immediately put his arm around my shoulders and ruffled my hair. I couldn't even laugh.

"Jem, you know her, right? Claire? She was the one I was talking about!"

You said she's your ex.

"Guess what?"

I don't wanna hear it.

He removed his hands from my shoulders and hugged her, "We got back together!"

I felt emptiness eat me. My shoulders suddenly felt cold. All I could see was Tanner holding someone else in his arms. I..

"Jem?" he waved, "Are you okay? Are you crying?"

I'm crying?