No matter how much I thank you, it will remain for a little while

And at the end of the night again, for the beginning of a new morning, I wanted to write, a pen... and some of the yellow papers surrounding me, a sheet of two and three.... Then it was thrown into the trash. I can't ask for life from life!!!!!!!! I want it, I will not lie, and claim strength in its aftermath. And also after that, I despaired of something clear to everyone, I had a fever at the second hour at night, and severe joint pain, I could not stand until I left the room door, I picked up a few oxygen pellets.I wet my throat with drops of water, my body sweating completely and I couldn't even call someone, I'm far from her, as if they put shackles between my wrists that make me fall without moving and trying. And the treasure that I don't sell in exchange for owning the world... It's my cure when sick... And then I remembered her magical hands as if she was a great doctor... Haha, and when I woke up in the morning as if I wasn't crying at night, I find her hands wiping over my hair. .. She wakes up and says the pain is still, How are you,! My happiness at that time?? Did you see someone asking me about my condition?!!!... When such situations happen to me, she puts me to sleep in her lap and cry then... Those moments of weakness become strength.. .

...As a girl I will not fail... I need to cry... I need seclusion inside the room and a lot of silence but I didn't fail... That's what my dear girl used to say when I cried . .... It's all of this and more. I never exaggerate. When despair marginalizes me and I see myself opposite to the mirror with all the dark circles and yellowing of the face, you hurt like me and more.. when those wrinkles climbed up your face and waved at me with burning.. And I'm still collecting what's already scattered from my body for you... And now I'm laughing at luck. From love... from lies.. and the eagerness of the madmen... the slogans of psychiatrists,, and a barrage of stabbings, drop me in your lap, my homeland and my homeland. Life is from my memory... and you were with me in the form of a letter of apology from this naive world.. and then I knew that I had neglected you mommy...

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