A

So I always had a fascination with things I couldn’t see. It was just so alluring to me. I heard of power and I wanted this power. All of it. For myself. I wanted to raise above what I had known as a child and demolish anything and anyone who stood in my way. For awhile those feelings remained dormant, til one day.

I was born to a poor woman. Father basically didn’t exist, good for him right? I went to school I lived that typical hard life so what big deal. But then I met this girl. Ohhh this girl was perfect. Everything I had ever wanted. Long dark hair and sweet lips. Tender and gentle. The ice to my fire. I had to have her, and I got her. I loved her so much. To feel her body in my hands was like a dream every time. I was so in love with her… likewise was she with me. We were happy. One day as she lay in my arms she told me a terrible secret. She trusted me with it and for that I am grateful. She was sick. Terminally ill, and she was getting worse. My love still looked like the rose she had always been. We brushed it off quickly until it came to the surface again when she collapsed. She was dying and on such limited time. I didn’t use the time as well as I should have. I should have spent every second with her. But the end happened so fast. After a month of strenuous treatment that did her no good at all. I knew it was only a matter of time. She did too. She died right there in my arms. I watched as there was absolutely nothing I could do. I felt so hopeless. So worthless. The one I loved was now gone. I hate to dwell on this because it still brings me such pain. So I will move on quickly to the next part of my story.

I left school after that. Torn apart by grief and so much other stuff I had dealt with from my childhood that will go unmentioned.

I met another girl some time later. She helped me up. Helped me out of the pit of despair. I fell for her. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for anyone again, but I did. She became mine one night and in the early morning hours when I awoke I knew I had found hope. Such things were so sacred to me. She wasn’t as perfect as my first, but she was all I needed. She was all I wanted. We planned to make a life together long into the future and for the first time in a long time I felt alive. Even then I knew all good things had an end though. I just didn’t expect shit to go down as it did. I didn’t expect to have to do what I had to do. I caught someone taking advantage of her one evening. A close friend that I had trusted. Taking advantage of my love in my own home. In my own bed. Forcing himself upon her like that as she cried out for me. In that moment I was filled with such uncontrollable rage. A rage that made me feel ten times more alive then I had ever felt before. I rage I fed with all my being in that moment. I was small and relatively average strength at the time. Rather short for my age. But in that moment I gained the strength of 30 men. I pulled the bastard off of my love and proceeded to tare him apart limb from limb with my bare hands nothing was too difficult in this moment when I had my first taste of blood. It was intoxicating. Suddenly in an eclipse all the pain of my life flashed before my eyes, giving me newfound strength as I tore deeper and deeper, as if digging up some hidden treasure I had buried long ago. I devoured it. I let it consume me. I was wasted and heavily intoxicated in it. I killed that man that day. His blood sprayed the room and myself like an unholy baptism of almighty wrath. I accepted it . When I finally calmed down enough to look around, I saw my love passed out in the corner, her hands over her head. She was cowering in fear. I went and picked her up, carrying her to the bathroom to clean her and myself up. I felt nothing. Such a weird sensation. I had a newfound pyshical strength and a newfound passion. I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I tenderly washed her. She was still unconscious but looked every bit of the angel she did as if it was a normal sleep. I washed myself clean as well. I lifted her out of the tub, dressed her in clean clothes and set her in the living room. Then I set about to clean up.

I left the apartment, heading down to the hardware store where I bought heavy amounts of hydrochloric acid and such. Soon after I returned home. My love, Rose was her name, was still sleeping. She stirred some when I entered to place, but remained unconscious. I prepared the acid and got to work. I was absolutely fascinated. I soaked every bone, every part . By the end of the evening I had the place spotless and back exactly as it had been. Clean and fresh, and homely. Except for the bags of things that the acid had not fully disintegrated. I took those out and but them in my trunk, intending to take them out to the woods later. When I got back inside, Rose was beginning to wake up. She saw me and immediately embraced me in tears. She told me how this friend of mine had come over to to help fix the dish washer. This friend actually was good at fixing things and I myself had asked him to come over and fix the washer, fully trusting him. Rose told me that he had never done something like that before. She told me she smelled the alcohol on his breath when she let him in but didn’t think that much of it. Until he suddenly got up from fixing and began forcing himself onto her. I felt terrible. This was my fault. This would not have happened if I had been here. She looked at me and insisted it want my fault. We held each other for a long time before I spoke again.

“Do you want to leave this place?” I asked her gently.

She looked at me and nodded. I understood completely and immediately began packing. My lease wasn’t up and I had a job , as did she. But none of that mattered. I packed up our stuff and we left. Pulled all my money out of the bank and everything. The landlord insisted I was not allowed to leave till the lease was up. But I knew that already. However, that didn’t matter right now. I left the landlord a gift in his water bottle when he wasn’t looking and promptly left. He would be dead in a few hours from ingesting large amounts of acid. Authorities suspected foul play, but didn’t have evidence as to who did it. I was long out of state by the time the landlord was found anyway. Rose and I headed north to Massachusetts, where I booked us a flight out of country. Before leaving. I stopped to bury the bones in the woods. They are there to this day.

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