TDOMC 02

They chased me but I kept running until they could no longer catch up with me. They didn't catch up with me but the memories of that night still haunted me in my dreams. My life that was like a very good dream before had become a nightmare in just one night.

I came home with a whole body but broken into pieces inside. I told my family what had happened to me, I told them about what happen even though it hurts to remember everything that happened. Along with every word that's coming out of my mouth was my tears that keeps on falling out from my eyes..

I thought they would help me get the justice I deserve but it seems like I am wrong. Simultaneously with the crushing of my heart was something that became a big slap in the face to me of the truth. I thought that the life I had was perfect, but it was just a borrowed life after all.

I was only an adopted child in the family so they did not hesitate and chased me out of the house immediately because what happened to me was an embarrassment. They said that I look disgusting. I have gone to my friends hoping they will help me. I knocked on their doors but they all just knocked off their door on my face. I went to the precinct to file a case but because I looked unkempt no one even bat an eye on me. No one listened at all they just ignored me. I don't know who to ask for help anymore.

For a few months I went back and forth to my family, to my friends, and to the precinct hoping that they would listen to me but they just passed me by as if they didn't even noticed me.

If others used to think of me as Maria Clara, now I'm just a homeless person scattered on the road. Asking for alms so they can listen to my grievances.

I was walking when I walked by the alley where this nightmares all started. The alley that gave me a wound that I don't know if it will even heal.

I walk without any destination. Simultaneously with the dripping of my tears was the pouring rain as if the sky sympathized with how I feel now.

I don’t know how many hours I’ve been standing here on the side of the bridge I can barely count how many cars have passed by.

The rain had stopped but my tears were still falling as if there was no end to it. I don’t know if I can even stand back and face the people who hurt me. I just want to die and end this suffering of mine.

It’s hard but I have to be strong because it’s not just about me anymore. It is also about the child in my womb now. I need to be strong for the two of us.

Yes, I am pregnant

And I am a rape victim.

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