Feelings

It started during 2nd quarter, before the exams. We have no teacher so it was our free time. My friends and I we’re standing beside the white board while our classmates do their own things. While my friends and I we’re talking, Ben shouted at me saying

“Nicole, Duke has a crush on you!”

Everyone in our class heard what Ben said. Everyone was like “YIEEEE”

My friend Joana said “just don’t mind them.” I did what Joana said. I wasn’t surprise when Ben said that Duke has a crush on me, why? Because he started liking me 2 years ago. I keep ignoring his feelings for me because first, he’s not my type. Second, I want to focus on my studies. Third, I already like someone. This someone I like is named Terrance. He’s smart, funny, and kind. I had a crush on him for like 3 years and even now I still like him. I know that he also likes me because he is sweet to me, he never fails to make me laugh. Terrance was the first person I met during the first day of classes, when I was new to this school. Before I called him “smiley” because I always see him smile and he makes others smile too. He was my ideal type. Terrance became my inspiration to strive harder and to focus more on my studies. I can balance my studies and my feelings for Terrance. Duke is a friend of mine, we’re not that close, we’re just friends. Before Ben shouted those things, Duke hangs with us every lunch time so it’s ok for me if he talks with me but after what happened I started to be distant from him. I started to avoid him, because I don’t want to be issued, I don’t want to be the topic of their gossips and because I don’t want to give him hope. I don’t want him to expect that I feel the same about him and I don’t want him to expect that there is ‘us’ in the end. I’m doing this because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because I know how it feels. Because I became distant to him, every situation that involves him is starting to become awkward. Like when we are in the same group, I would talk to anyone in our group except for him. Whenever I walked through hallways, I sometimes encounter him, what I do is look away and walk faster. When I hear our classmates say his name, I automatically be sad. Basically, I avoid everything that involves him. Until it became my habbit to avoid him. I got used to avoid him and I think that he is also used to it. I don’t know if he’s aware that I’m avoiding him. But its good that he doesn’t confront me about what’s happening between us. He’s shy to do such things, like talking to me about serious things and about our relationship. It’s not a big deal to me that he can’t do does things, he’s shy because of me. Anyway, I’m doing these things because I think its good for us.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***